


Recovery by Galesgal

by fandomoverload



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-28
Updated: 2011-06-29
Packaged: 2017-10-20 19:39:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 93,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/216414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomoverload/pseuds/fandomoverload





	1. Chapter 1

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


  


  
Story Notes:   


  


I got on the internet today and was able to post this chapter myself.  Yay me.

  


  


Everything Changes by Galesgal

  


Chapter One

Everything Changes

 

“You’re not paying attention you need to follow my feet like this.” Justin stated as he showed Brian the steps of the new waltz.

 

“I assure you that I’m capable of pulling this off, I mean don’t you remember the prom.” Brian asked with a smile.

 

It was good being able to talk about the prom, an event for the longest time that Justin was unable to remember but he did now and now he didn’t know why he could have ever doubted that Brian loved him.   If he would have had that memory a long time ago how things could have been so different.   That didn’t matter now though.   They were finally comfortable with each other, their anniversary was approaching and everything was finally right with the world.

 

“Why are you filming this?” Brian asked to his sixteen year old son Gus who was standing off to the side with the video camera.

 

“Justin says that you can learn the small mistakes that you are making, or that you can see how much you fidget when you’re nervous.”

 

“I do not!” Brian stated and did exactly what his son had just accused him of.

 

“Okay maybe a little, okay enough practice for now, I have got to meet Michael.   I’ll see you later.” He said as he leaned in and gave Justin a kiss.

 

“Now for you, you are to drop me off at the club.   You are to go and meet your friend who I have yet to meet, and then the two of you are to do whatever it is that kids do these days.   Do not drink, do not drug, and return my baby in one piece.” Brian stated as he handed his keys over to his son.

 

“Are you sure he’s ready?” Justin teased.

 

“Justin.” Gus whined

 

“Oh yes he’s ready he’s got that Kinney whine down.  I’ll see you later.    As for you peanut, you be good for your daddy.” Brian said to his five year old daughter Isabella.

 

“I will daddy I promise.” She said with a smile.

 

Justin couldn’t help but smile at this situation.   He and Brian had a daughter.   One that they shared, they had no idea which of them father her but that didn’t matter she was loved.   Sometimes he felt himself so happy that he knew that something was going to happen.   Things had been quiet for too long.   Brian had way passed forty and he didn’t even flinch, he was approaching fifty and he seemed happy.   Oh yes the apocalypse had to be around the corner.

 

Michael would admit he was nervous about tonight.   He was a young 45 and he was still nervous about talking to his best friend.   Brian was his best friend still after everything that he had done to him.   Their life had its ups and downs but in the end they could always count on each other.    He thought back to two years ago when he had lost Ben.  Brian had been there for him, had seen him through wanting to die.   Now when he told him what he wanted to would he think he was foolish?   No he wouldn’t he was Brian he was his best friend.

 

Gus sat in the back booth of the diner looking around cautiously.   He didn’t want anyone to see him there, that’s why he had picked this place it was way out of the way of anything.   Chris hadn’t met his parents yet and well that was going to be interesting.   Telling Chris things about him slowly was the way to do things.    When Chris met his father well that would be another story.

 

“Hey have you been waiting long?” Chris asked sliding into the booth.

 

“No I just got here, did you see it I told you my dad had a vintage “Vette I tell you sometimes it’s like he loves that thing more than me.” Gus said dejectedly.

 

Chris looked at Gus and knew that he was stressed.   He did that thing with the pinch of his nose, and the rolling of his tongue in his mouth.    He was nervous about something, had something on his mind.   What she couldn’t possibly know but whatever it was it was worrying the hell out of him.

 

“Okay so I know how the rest of this little dinner is going to go, why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you so I can help you over it so I can enjoy the time with you that I have.”  Chris stated.

 

“We’ve been seeing each other about for a while now Chris and I think that it’s time for us to take the next step.    When I get home tonight I’m telling my parents and I thought maybe this weekend you come over and have dinner with us.” Gus said all in one breath before he chickened out.

 

“Really?” You mean I’m actually going to get to meet Brian Kinney.    Without seeing on the cover of magazines or watching him on my television, I’m going to be able to be in the same room with him and carry on a conversation?”  Chris asked unable to believe what was being said.

 

“Yea so I’ll talk to them tonight after I drop you off, and by the end of tonight they will know everything.” Gus said unable to keep the shiver from his voice.

 

Leaning in close Chris kissed him on the mouth sending him the reassurance that he needed.

 

“Gus it’s not the end of the world.   You just look them directly in the face and you say dad, Justin I have something to say to you.    I’m straight.  It’s not the end of the world.” She said as she gave him one more squeeze as she looked at her menu to decide what she wanted to eat.

 

 

“And you’re not upset?” Michael asked as he and Brian walked down Liberty Avenue.

 

“Why would I be Mikey?   I think it’s fucking fantastic.   Brendan is a good guy, he’s no Ben.   No one can compare to that guy, but he made you smile and brought the light back to your eyes so if can get a better position at the hospital in Detroit then I say pack your bags and go.   Long term relationships blow and not in a good way.    You would spend your time on our couch crying over your “brerry bear” or whatever the two of you are calling each other this week.   So yea go, planes, emails, and phone calls can’t break us apart you know that.”  Brian stated as he threw his arm around his old friend.

 

“Are you sure?” Michael asked for what had to be the fifth time.

 

“Yes I am sure, Christ you’re such a baby.   We are approaching fifty Michael it’s time you get off my tit and put on your big boy pants.” Brian stated sarcastically.

 

“You’re right we are growing up aren’t we?” Michael asked pulling his friend even closer.

 

“Yea, who would have thought it you and I in a stable relationship?   You’ve got a marriage under your belt now you’re the attractive widower with the hunky piece of eye candy on his arm, and well I’ve got Justin.”

 

“Yea you do, and when do you think you’re going to make an honest man out of him?” Michael asked seriously.

 

“The last time I tried to give him the picket fence he said I was a pod person, and he ran all the way to New York.   You know what that did to me.   How long it took me to even put up the courage to go and bring him back.   When I did he still wasn’t sure.   I don’t think he was sure until I told him I wanted Izzy.   She made us a family.   He believes in us now.   We’ve got an anniversary coming up, maybe then we’ll take those rings from around our necks and place them on our fingers.”  He stated referring to the fact that he and Justin wore their wedding bands around their necks on a black chord.

 

“Really?” Michael asked hoping his friend wasn’t pulling his leg.

 

“Let’s just say Emmett is planning one hell of a party, now let’s find a cab.”

 

Michael couldn’t keep the smile that was coming over his face on hearing that his friend was finally going to tie the knot with Justin.   He would admit that in the old days he would have never wanted the two of them together but now they fit like had to glove.   Brian had gotten all the way to the step of marriage before but he knew that in the end they would come to their senses.    They were together and in love but must of that were brought on about fear of losing each other.    They were both scared that something was going to break them apart.   They had grown.   Brian still was beautiful, he had aged gorgeously.    He looked up at his friend standing there hailing a cab, he thought how much he was going to miss this.   He didn’t even see that truck that struck Brian down when they rounded the corner.

 

Justin looked at his watch again, it was approaching two.   Michael must really have a lot to talk about.   He hoped that he and Brendan hadn’t broken up.   He liked him; he was sort of like the male Daphne.   After saying that he wondered if that was an insult or a compliment?   He definitely meant for it to be a compliment.   He would spend the next few moments picking up the family room Izzy really could tear a room to bits if given the chance.   He’d pick up and then turn in.   Gone were the days of worrying if Brian was out with someone else, although they still weren’t monogamous Brian tricked.   He didn’t less often now and Justin had high hopes that he would be done with it completely soon.   He was about to head upstairs when there was a knock on the door.

 

When he opened the door his blood ran cold.   Captain Carl Horvath, Debbie, and Mel stood there all looking shell-shocked.   He didn’t know what to say, but he knew this meant something was wrong.

 

“Is he dead?” he manage to croak out before holding on to the door frame after feeling lightheaded.

 

“Justin there was an accident an hour or so ago.   Brian was involved in it, and well we think you better come with us down to the hospital as soon as you can.” Deb stated as she took him in her arms.

 

Justin clung to Debbie.   He needed this comfort, he would have preferred his own mother but she wasn’t in any condition to be coming to him this late, and of course he would rather be with Brian but well you know why that was impossible.    He needed to make sure Gus watched Izzy but he remembered where Brian was that night.

 

“Is Michael okay?” he asked concerned.

 

“My baby is doing good Justin thanks for asking.   Apparently Brian and Michael were leaving Babylon and a truck came out of nowhere and struck Brian while he was hailing a cab.   They can tell you more when you get there.” She said.

 

“Okay I just need to tell Gus what’s going.” He stated as he went back inside the house leaving them all still standing on the steps.

 

 

Justin didn’t have to go far, as soon as he spun around Gus stood there with a very sleepy Isabella in his arms.

 

“What’s the matter dad?” Gus asked.

 

Justin loved when Gus called him dad.   He had known him sense the day that he was born and he had two moms and he was thrilled the day that Gus had decided that he was his second dad instead of Michael but right now he just didn’t need to see him standing there looking so much like his father holding their daughter asking him a question that he couldn’t answer.

 

“There’s been an accident.   You’re grandma and grandpa are here to take me to the hospital.”

 

“Grandma and Grandpa!” Izzy shouted getting excited.

 

“Yes sweetheart, but they can’t play right now I have to go to the hospital to take care of your daddy okay, so what I need is for you to be a big girl and stay here an take care of Gus until I get back.   Can you do that?”

 

“Yes daddy I’ll keep Gus in line.”  Izzy stated in her strong voice which was meant for you to realize that she meant business.

 

Justin turned and got his PDA and important papers.   He had to turn away from her before he broke down.   He didn’t want his little girl to see how worried he was.   He knew with Deb, Melanie, and Carl there that it was bad it was real bad.   He didn’t tell Gus his mother was outside or she would know that things were bad too.     He gently kissed them both and left the house praying to God that everything was alright.    Little did he know from now on everything changes.

 

  


 

  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	2. Chapter 2

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


  


  
Story Notes:   


  


I got on the internet today and was able to post this chapter myself.  Yay me.

  


  


Everything Changes by Galesgal

  


Chapter One

Everything Changes

 

“You’re not paying attention you need to follow my feet like this.” Justin stated as he showed Brian the steps of the new waltz.

 

“I assure you that I’m capable of pulling this off, I mean don’t you remember the prom.” Brian asked with a smile.

 

It was good being able to talk about the prom, an event for the longest time that Justin was unable to remember but he did now and now he didn’t know why he could have ever doubted that Brian loved him.   If he would have had that memory a long time ago how things could have been so different.   That didn’t matter now though.   They were finally comfortable with each other, their anniversary was approaching and everything was finally right with the world.

 

“Why are you filming this?” Brian asked to his sixteen year old son Gus who was standing off to the side with the video camera.

 

“Justin says that you can learn the small mistakes that you are making, or that you can see how much you fidget when you’re nervous.”

 

“I do not!” Brian stated and did exactly what his son had just accused him of.

 

“Okay maybe a little, okay enough practice for now, I have got to meet Michael.   I’ll see you later.” He said as he leaned in and gave Justin a kiss.

 

“Now for you, you are to drop me off at the club.   You are to go and meet your friend who I have yet to meet, and then the two of you are to do whatever it is that kids do these days.   Do not drink, do not drug, and return my baby in one piece.” Brian stated as he handed his keys over to his son.

 

“Are you sure he’s ready?” Justin teased.

 

“Justin.” Gus whined

 

“Oh yes he’s ready he’s got that Kinney whine down.  I’ll see you later.    As for you peanut, you be good for your daddy.” Brian said to his five year old daughter Isabella.

 

“I will daddy I promise.” She said with a smile.

 

Justin couldn’t help but smile at this situation.   He and Brian had a daughter.   One that they shared, they had no idea which of them father her but that didn’t matter she was loved.   Sometimes he felt himself so happy that he knew that something was going to happen.   Things had been quiet for too long.   Brian had way passed forty and he didn’t even flinch, he was approaching fifty and he seemed happy.   Oh yes the apocalypse had to be around the corner.

 

Michael would admit he was nervous about tonight.   He was a young 45 and he was still nervous about talking to his best friend.   Brian was his best friend still after everything that he had done to him.   Their life had its ups and downs but in the end they could always count on each other.    He thought back to two years ago when he had lost Ben.  Brian had been there for him, had seen him through wanting to die.   Now when he told him what he wanted to would he think he was foolish?   No he wouldn’t he was Brian he was his best friend.

 

Gus sat in the back booth of the diner looking around cautiously.   He didn’t want anyone to see him there, that’s why he had picked this place it was way out of the way of anything.   Chris hadn’t met his parents yet and well that was going to be interesting.   Telling Chris things about him slowly was the way to do things.    When Chris met his father well that would be another story.

 

“Hey have you been waiting long?” Chris asked sliding into the booth.

 

“No I just got here, did you see it I told you my dad had a vintage “Vette I tell you sometimes it’s like he loves that thing more than me.” Gus said dejectedly.

 

Chris looked at Gus and knew that he was stressed.   He did that thing with the pinch of his nose, and the rolling of his tongue in his mouth.    He was nervous about something, had something on his mind.   What she couldn’t possibly know but whatever it was it was worrying the hell out of him.

 

“Okay so I know how the rest of this little dinner is going to go, why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you so I can help you over it so I can enjoy the time with you that I have.”  Chris stated.

 

“We’ve been seeing each other about for a while now Chris and I think that it’s time for us to take the next step.    When I get home tonight I’m telling my parents and I thought maybe this weekend you come over and have dinner with us.” Gus said all in one breath before he chickened out.

 

“Really?” You mean I’m actually going to get to meet Brian Kinney.    Without seeing on the cover of magazines or watching him on my television, I’m going to be able to be in the same room with him and carry on a conversation?”  Chris asked unable to believe what was being said.

 

“Yea so I’ll talk to them tonight after I drop you off, and by the end of tonight they will know everything.” Gus said unable to keep the shiver from his voice.

 

Leaning in close Chris kissed him on the mouth sending him the reassurance that he needed.

 

“Gus it’s not the end of the world.   You just look them directly in the face and you say dad, Justin I have something to say to you.    I’m straight.  It’s not the end of the world.” She said as she gave him one more squeeze as she looked at her menu to decide what she wanted to eat.

 

 

“And you’re not upset?” Michael asked as he and Brian walked down Liberty Avenue.

 

“Why would I be Mikey?   I think it’s fucking fantastic.   Brendan is a good guy, he’s no Ben.   No one can compare to that guy, but he made you smile and brought the light back to your eyes so if can get a better position at the hospital in Detroit then I say pack your bags and go.   Long term relationships blow and not in a good way.    You would spend your time on our couch crying over your “brerry bear” or whatever the two of you are calling each other this week.   So yea go, planes, emails, and phone calls can’t break us apart you know that.”  Brian stated as he threw his arm around his old friend.

 

“Are you sure?” Michael asked for what had to be the fifth time.

 

“Yes I am sure, Christ you’re such a baby.   We are approaching fifty Michael it’s time you get off my tit and put on your big boy pants.” Brian stated sarcastically.

 

“You’re right we are growing up aren’t we?” Michael asked pulling his friend even closer.

 

“Yea, who would have thought it you and I in a stable relationship?   You’ve got a marriage under your belt now you’re the attractive widower with the hunky piece of eye candy on his arm, and well I’ve got Justin.”

 

“Yea you do, and when do you think you’re going to make an honest man out of him?” Michael asked seriously.

 

“The last time I tried to give him the picket fence he said I was a pod person, and he ran all the way to New York.   You know what that did to me.   How long it took me to even put up the courage to go and bring him back.   When I did he still wasn’t sure.   I don’t think he was sure until I told him I wanted Izzy.   She made us a family.   He believes in us now.   We’ve got an anniversary coming up, maybe then we’ll take those rings from around our necks and place them on our fingers.”  He stated referring to the fact that he and Justin wore their wedding bands around their necks on a black chord.

 

“Really?” Michael asked hoping his friend wasn’t pulling his leg.

 

“Let’s just say Emmett is planning one hell of a party, now let’s find a cab.”

 

Michael couldn’t keep the smile that was coming over his face on hearing that his friend was finally going to tie the knot with Justin.   He would admit that in the old days he would have never wanted the two of them together but now they fit like had to glove.   Brian had gotten all the way to the step of marriage before but he knew that in the end they would come to their senses.    They were together and in love but must of that were brought on about fear of losing each other.    They were both scared that something was going to break them apart.   They had grown.   Brian still was beautiful, he had aged gorgeously.    He looked up at his friend standing there hailing a cab, he thought how much he was going to miss this.   He didn’t even see that truck that struck Brian down when they rounded the corner.

 

Justin looked at his watch again, it was approaching two.   Michael must really have a lot to talk about.   He hoped that he and Brendan hadn’t broken up.   He liked him; he was sort of like the male Daphne.   After saying that he wondered if that was an insult or a compliment?   He definitely meant for it to be a compliment.   He would spend the next few moments picking up the family room Izzy really could tear a room to bits if given the chance.   He’d pick up and then turn in.   Gone were the days of worrying if Brian was out with someone else, although they still weren’t monogamous Brian tricked.   He didn’t less often now and Justin had high hopes that he would be done with it completely soon.   He was about to head upstairs when there was a knock on the door.

 

When he opened the door his blood ran cold.   Captain Carl Horvath, Debbie, and Mel stood there all looking shell-shocked.   He didn’t know what to say, but he knew this meant something was wrong.

 

“Is he dead?” he manage to croak out before holding on to the door frame after feeling lightheaded.

 

“Justin there was an accident an hour or so ago.   Brian was involved in it, and well we think you better come with us down to the hospital as soon as you can.” Deb stated as she took him in her arms.

 

Justin clung to Debbie.   He needed this comfort, he would have preferred his own mother but she wasn’t in any condition to be coming to him this late, and of course he would rather be with Brian but well you know why that was impossible.    He needed to make sure Gus watched Izzy but he remembered where Brian was that night.

 

“Is Michael okay?” he asked concerned.

 

“My baby is doing good Justin thanks for asking.   Apparently Brian and Michael were leaving Babylon and a truck came out of nowhere and struck Brian while he was hailing a cab.   They can tell you more when you get there.” She said.

 

“Okay I just need to tell Gus what’s going.” He stated as he went back inside the house leaving them all still standing on the steps.

 

 

Justin didn’t have to go far, as soon as he spun around Gus stood there with a very sleepy Isabella in his arms.

 

“What’s the matter dad?” Gus asked.

 

Justin loved when Gus called him dad.   He had known him sense the day that he was born and he had two moms and he was thrilled the day that Gus had decided that he was his second dad instead of Michael but right now he just didn’t need to see him standing there looking so much like his father holding their daughter asking him a question that he couldn’t answer.

 

“There’s been an accident.   You’re grandma and grandpa are here to take me to the hospital.”

 

“Grandma and Grandpa!” Izzy shouted getting excited.

 

“Yes sweetheart, but they can’t play right now I have to go to the hospital to take care of your daddy okay, so what I need is for you to be a big girl and stay here an take care of Gus until I get back.   Can you do that?”

 

“Yes daddy I’ll keep Gus in line.”  Izzy stated in her strong voice which was meant for you to realize that she meant business.

 

Justin turned and got his PDA and important papers.   He had to turn away from her before he broke down.   He didn’t want his little girl to see how worried he was.   He knew with Deb, Melanie, and Carl there that it was bad it was real bad.   He didn’t tell Gus his mother was outside or she would know that things were bad too.     He gently kissed them both and left the house praying to God that everything was alright.    Little did he know from now on everything changes.

 

  


 

  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	3. Recovery by Galesgal

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


Blow This... by Galesgal

  


  


  
Author's Notes:   


  


WEll loo at that another chapter.  Enjoy.

  


  


Chapter Three

Blow This Popsicle Stand

 

Melanie Markus sat at her dining room table across from the woman that she loved more than life itself and was unable to touch her.   She knew that she needed to be comforted, but how could she when she knew that she knew she wouldn’t allow her too.   It was going to be kind of hard anyways because she was holding on to poor Isabella like her like if she let her go she would fade from existence.

“How have you been?” Melanie asked.   As soon as she said those words she knew they were wrong, how did she think she was doing?   She had been through a horrible ordeal and had to leave to recover and now here she had to be strong for her son and her and daughter.

“I’m sorry, that was a stupid question.” Melanie stated.

“Its fine I’m doing better I’m finally realizing that what happened wasn’t my fault, no matter what some chose to say.

Melanie knew that was thrown for her.   What she had done was wrong and she knew it, but Lindsay had betrayed her again and this time Brian had helped.   It hurt but now she would give all her money to be able to touch Lindsay again.

“So are you going to move back here?” She asked hoping.

“Well of course I am right now.   I mean Gus needs me and Izzy.   I do care for my children Melanie.   How is JR?” she added so she would know that she meant her as well.

Well you know the age she’s 14 and becoming a woman.   I don’t know yet if she’s going to be gay or if she’s just angry because I’m her mother.   She misses you.

“I didn’t abandon her!” Lindsay stated as her hand began to shake.

“Are you alright?” Melanie asked concerned.   She had to remind herself that Lindsay was not well.

Lindsay couldn’t help the sort of psychotic laugh that left her lips.   “Of course I’m alright.   I have to be my baby needs me.” She stated snuggling into a sleeping Isabella.

Dr. Brendan Block stood at the foot of Brian Kinney’s bed looking over his chart.  He couldn’t believe that this was happening to Brian.   He was going to finally leave this hospital when he heard this happened he decided to stay a little longer, at least to see Brian through all of this.   He owed that too him.   He had helped him build the solid relationship he now had with Michael.   Michael would have mourned Ben forever if Brian hadn’t told him to give him a chance.   For that he would do anything to help him and Justin through this.

“Any change?” Justin asked hoping.

“You know the routine it’s just a waiting game Justin.   He’s been having a lot of movements which is a good sign.   If he just lied there and never moved I would be worried but he has grabbed you twice, and someone said they heard him humming the other day.   He’s just confused the swelling has gone down a lot but there’s a little left.   Scans look good, there appears to be some damage due to the trauma but we will not know how severe until he wakes up and tells us what’s going on.

“If.” Justin stated morbidly.

“Hey now, I gave up a job in Detroit to make sure that he pulls through he would not disappoint me this way.    Now have you eaten?” Brendan asked his friend.

“No, Gus and Chris are down in the cafeteria I was supposed to meet them about an hour ago, but I didn’t want to leave him.”

“I assure you that if you go downstairs and get something to eat that he’ll be here when you get back.   Now go ahead and have a sandwich.   I’ll stay here till you get back.”

“Will you really Brendan?” he asked.

“Yea all of my patients are fine unless there’s an emergency I’ll sit right here until you get back.   Go now your son needs you.” Brendan added that part knowing it would get Justin moving.

“Okay I won’t be long.

Chris really didn’t know how to comfort her boyfriend and that really sucked.   She wanted to be the caring girlfriend but how could she do that when her boyfriend acted like he had severe emotional problems half the time.   All the time when she thought that she had a breakthrough and was going to get him to open up about something important he would shut down.   Sometimes he could be so open and loving and then he would put up a wall up that no matter how much she tried she couldn’t break through.

 

“So I hear your mom is in town, how she doing?” she asked calmly.

“She just got leave from an asylum how do you think she’s doing?” he asked coldly.

“Don’t do this okay; you know I hate it when you act this way.   I’m right here and I’m here for you to do whatever you need to do so if you need to scream or yell go ahead, but don’t close me out.

Gus thought about this for a second.   He was not his father, his father told him over and over again not to treat his relationships like he treated his with Justin.   He often told him that he treated Justin like shit for over half his life and all he did was love him.   He couldn’t do that to Chris.  She was everything.   He could do this he could tell her.

“You know I told you that my parents are split up right now, they have been for last couple of years right.”

“Yea but that’s all you told me.” she stated trying not to seem interested but she was she wanted to know everything about Gus.   She had never felt the way that she felt about anyone like she did about Gus.   She just wanted him to know that she was there for him.

“Well it was because of my mom cheating on Melanie.   They love each other so much but sometimes my mom can be wrong.   It went wrong though, because she and the woman that she was seeing were meeting up at dad’s house and there was this fire and that’s what happened to my mom’s face.

“Her face?” Christina asked confused.   She had met his mother and she didn’t see anything wrong with her face.

“You can’t really tell now, but she had to have a surgery because a lamp blew up in her face and it burned her.  She was supposed to be picking my sister up from Melanie because she had to be in court but she was getting some “afternoon delight”.   That was the day that Melanie told my mother she was just like dad.   Might’ve not have been so bad but when she told her she was fighting for her life as well as the life of my sister.   Stupid cunt!” he shouted.   Can we get out of here I don’t wanna be here any longer.

Recovery- To regain ones ability.    That was what she was supposed to be doing when she went away three years ago.   It wasn’t supposed to take this long and she had missed out on so much of her daughters’ lives.   Isabella wasn’t supposed to be hers not in the way that Gus or JR were.   She was supposed to be Brian’s and Justin’s but she could see her whenever and watch her grow but because of temptation she had lost so much.    She had lost Isabella’s growth, Brian’s trust, Melanie’s love, and Sarah.   Poor Sarah, sometimes recovery could be a bitch.

 

You know how when you’re swimming you feel weightless?    Well that’s how this feels.  I’m floating and trying to get through this fog but I can’t.   I keep telling myself that if I just turn this way or that way that the fog can be lifted but it’s like I’m getting lost in translation.   Like I know what I want and need to do but my mind and body won’t cooperate.   I need to wake up.   Been trying to do it for the past week or so.   I hear them come in and say they love and they miss me.   When the hell did I become so likeable?   Aren’t I still an asshole.   My own mother even came in and I think she was sincere.   She brought Samuel.   I hadn’t seen that bear since my dad broke four ribs.   This could make her change her mind about me but cancer couldn’t.   Well fuck me.

When Brian Kinney opened his eyes for the first time in seven days he didn’t know what to make of it.   It was bright and scary and nothing looked like he remembered.   Where the hell was he?   He needed Justin.   He tried to talk but he couldn’t there was this huge tube down his throat.   He went to pull it out, but a big  man stopped him.   Who the fuck was that?   He looked at him for the longest time.  He knew him didn’t he?   Maybe he fucked him.   Had he fucked him and he was having his sick way with him?    The fucker, he would make him pay if he could just remember where he was exactly.

“Calm down Brian, I know that it made seem a little foggy right now, but its fine.  It’s me Brendan.

It wasn’t lost on Brendan at how Brian seemed to look through him.   That scared him; he thought that Brian would be okay.   He needed to be okay.

“Brian do you know where you are?” he asked professionally.

It really hurt when Brian shook his head for no.   “You’re at the hospital you were in an accident.   You’ve been in a coma for seven days we’ve been waiting for you to open those eyes of yours.   Do you know who I am Brian?” Brendan asked.

Brian looked at this guy.   How the fuck did he know him, didn’t he know he didn’t remember tricks names.   Maybe he wasn’t a trick maybe he had done enough dope and fried his brain.   Dear god what about Justin, did he hurt Justin?   He could feel his heart beating fast.   He let out a loud yelp when the man removed the tube.   He noticed the lab jacket guess he was a doctor, probably his.

“Justin?” Brian asked

“Oh he went to get something to eat.   He’s been here every day since it happened.   I told him that I would stay if he went down and got something to drink.   We’re going to give you something to make you more comfortable and we’re going to run some tests okay?” he stated as he rubbed Brian’s shoulder.

“Okay.” He said.   Everything seemed so normal while he was asleep but now since he was awake it all was different.  His head hurt and he wanted Justin.   He needed Justin badly.   He was going to ask for him but he could feel the fog coming back to claim him.   He was sleep before he could say the name Justin.

Justin really was trying to listen to what Michael was saying about he and Brendan’s new apartment and how Hunter was coming up with his girlfriend but he really couldn’t stop thinking about Brian and he knew that Michael understood and he was just speaking to be speaking.   He and Michael had come to that point in their friendship.   He was just filling the space that was meant for Gus and his girlfriend but by the time he had gotten there they were gone.   He wondered where they had gone.  Justin was about to finally start paying attention to Michael’s conversation but he saw Brendan approaching out of the corner of his eye.

“What’s wrong?” he asked already beginning to panic.

“He’s awake; I thought maybe you would want to be by his side.” Brendan stated with a smile.

“Oh god yes he stated as he got his coffee and got up to head to Brian’s room.

Brian awoke with a start.   He knew immediately that he didn’t like it where he was.   The fucking beeping of the machine was making the pounding in his head worst.   He didn’t like Breckin or Benjin or whatever the fuck that guy who came was.   He needed Justin.  “Where was he?” he wondered.  He pulled himself from the bed and went on search for him.   He didn’t like this place too much white.

Lindsay stood outside the room that they told her was Brian’s just waiting.   She didn’t know what to do.   A huge part of her wanted to go in and tell him that she was sorry.   She was sorry for sneaking around on Mel, and for burning down his house, and for Sarah.   She was his friend and now she was dead because they wanted to be romantic in his house.   She didn’t even know that something was wrong with the fireplace.   She guesses she just wasn’t listening when Brian had told her that.   She almost lost the baby that day.   He had gotten so angry with her.   She had never seen him so furious.   Then there was Mel.   She had to face the music it was part of her recovery.

“Going in?” asked a familiar voice.

“I don’t know, the nurses say that he’s a bit confused about some things maybe I shouldn’t go in.   I mean I heard that Brendan went to find Justin so maybe I should let the two of them have their moment and then go back to the house and come down with Izzy later.”  Lindsay stated trying to find some reason in what she was saying.

“I don’t know Lindz, maybe you should go in and see him for yourself and then decide if you know Izzy should even be down here.” Melanie stated as she gently put her hand on Lindsay’s shoulder.   She was thrilled when she didn’t flinch away like she normally did.

“I don’t know what if he’s still angry.” Lindsay stated afraid of facing Brian after all this time.

“He doesn’t hate you Lindz, he was scared for you and for Izzy, but he knew that part of the equation you had never imagined.   If you are really that scared I’ll be right there with you, that’s if you want me to be.” she said giving her shoulder a little squeeze.

“I’d like that a lot.”  She was happy that Melanie agreed to go in with her she of all people knew that Brian wasn’t her favorite person.   She also knew that the two of them had bonded a lot since she had been away.  She finally turned the knob to enter and once inside they both stopped and begin to look around.  Brian’s room was empty.

Gus was glad that he and Christina had decided to take this walk.   The hospital was beginning to depress the hell out of him.   He knew what she meant to him, and he knew what he meant to her.   Why did he have these doubts sometimes?   He knew why it was because of the people in his life that set the examples.  Brian and Justin who had broken up so many times it was so hard for him to even keeping track anymore.

“Feeling better?” Chris asked as they walked back towards the hospital.

“Yea, I think it was just the hospital setting, those places can really bring you down, I’ve spent far too much of my life in those plastic waiting room chairs.”

Chris wanted to know what he meant by that but she didn’t ask.   She knew that he would share when he thought she was ready to hear.

“So shall we go back and see what’s going on with your dad?  Gus?” she asked when she noticed he was frozen in that spot looking across the street at someone.   When she turned to look a man was walking down the street in a pair of pajamas and a blue robe.

“Are you Justin?” Brian asked everyone he passed.   He was really getting pissed because well he knew that he had to find Justin but right now he really couldn’t remember who a Justin was he just knew that he had to have him.   “Have you seen Justin?” he asked the next woman that walked near him.   He didn’t like the way that she looked at him.

“This is me.” He stated as he pointed to the hospital bracelet around his left wrist.  “I’m Brian Kinney but I’m not looking for me.  I’m not lost.” He stated matter-of-factly.   “Are you Justin?” he asked the next young man who came up to him, he wasn’t alone he was with a girl.

“Dad it’s me Gus.   Are you alright?” Gus asked as he approached his father.   He could tell that something was off about his father.   He looked almost childlike when he approached him.

“Gus?  No Gus is like this?” Brian stated putting his arms up as if he was holding a baby.  “You’re like me you can’t be Gus.   Are you Justin?” he asked getting very confused.   He knew him he knew he did.   Was he Gus?   Yes he was, he knew that, why was he being so stupid he knew that it was Gus.

“Gus, I lost Justin do you know where he is?” he asked not able to stop the sobbing, he reached for Gus and Gus took him in his arms to comfort him.  He gave Chris a look of both confusing and horror, as his father continued to sob.  Brian needed Justin, and maybe some sleep of some kind.

“Yea dad I know where he is come on let’s get you out the street.” Gus stated as he took his father’s hand and helped him from the street.   He had noticed how the crowd was forming and was that a cop car?   He wondered just how many people his dad has frightened for the cops to be called.

“Come on Dad I’ll get you to Justin.”  Together with Chris on one side and him on the other they helped a suddenly very groggy Brian back to the hospital.

 

“How the fuck can you just loose a patient.  Brian just got out of a coma how was he even capable of walking out of this hospital.” Justin demanded at the nurse’s station.

“Mr. Kinney is quite lucid.   He had to have slipped out when we were having our shift change.  He’s in his pajamas and his robe; if we weren’t really looking it would have been easy.   I know that is no way to explain things and we are looking as hard as possible.   We have no doubt he will show up.

“When I’m about five seconds away from suing this whole damn hospital or now damn it!.” Justin stated getting upset but he would.   He would sue this whole damn place if something happened to his Brian.

“Justin I have him.” Gus announced when he came up.   Chris and I were heading back and when we were a few blocks away we saw him.   He was walking around in the street; I don’t even think he knew who or where he was.   At first he didn’t even know me Justin, scared the shit out of me.” Gus stated not being lost on the fact that his father was clutching his hand very tightly and looked like a scared seven-year-old.

“Brian are you alright?” Justin asked as he approached Brian and took him in his arms and hugged him.   It felt so good to feel him in his arms again.   He loved how Brian hugged him back very tightly and kept his hand clutch in his.  

“Justin?” Brian asked.

“Yea Brian I’m here, we’re going to get you back to your room and get you something to eat alright?” he stated soothingly.

“I was so lost.” Brian stated and then he began to cry.

Justin didn’t know what to do except hold him.   What was wrong with Brian?   It wasn’t like he had amnesia he knew who everyone was it was just like he wasn’t’ there.   He frightened him to the core, but he could do this.   He would be there for Brian he had done it for him.

“Brian running away like that is dangerous.    Why did you leave?” Justin asked.

“I had to find Justin.   I need him, but he went for drinks and he never came back so I got up to find him but then I got turned around.   Too much white here so I blew this Popsicle stand.” Brian stated as he walked back toward his room.

“Come on love, I’ll help you back to your room.” Justin stated.   He didn’t even have the heart to tell Brian that he was Justin he didn’t know if he knew that now.   That he had found who he was looking for.   He just enjoyed the fact that Brian was smiling at him while he walked back to his room with him.  He couldn’t accept if Brian didn’t know who he was for now he was contempt in being in denial.

  


  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	4. Recovery by Galesgal

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


The New Brian by Galesgal

  


  


  
Author's Notes:   


  


This one is writing itself.   Last new chapter of the day....maybe

Can Justin accept The New Brian

  


  


Chapter Four

  


The New Brian

  


 

  


I stayed by his bed all night.   I don’t know if I can take this.   He didn’t understand that I was Justin.   There were times when he would ask if I was Justin and I’d tell him I was and he’d believe me and then there were times when he would look at me as if he thought I was lying.    I don’t know what to make of it, they ran a lot of tests and I have to meet with the doctor soon.   I need answers, I need Brian

  


 

  


“What the fuck is going on?” Brian thought.   This is not right.   You know how it is when you try to do something and you know exactly what you are going to do and how you’re going to do it but then when you go to do it something goes terribly wrong.   That’s what’s happening now.   That’s my life now.   I hate this guy.    Someone should shoot me, where the fuck was Ted, or Michael?   We had a deal, if I were to be different if something were to be wrong with me they were too pull my plug.   This is not normal.” Brian thought

  


 

  


“Michael I can’t tell you anything, the doctors are meeting with Justin in a few minutes.” Brendan stated.

  


“You know what’s going on, you know what they are going to tell him what’s the matter with him?”

  


“Nothing is wrong with him, when you start thinking that there’s something is wrong is when something is wrong with him.   He’s recovering he went through a trauma; his head hit the ground after his body was propelled for a velocity through the air.   There was supposed to be problems Michael all you have to do is be there for him.   I know you will.   You love him so I will be there.”

  


“I will Brendan for whatever he needs.” Michael said as he continued to eat his breakfast.

  


Everything is going over my head.   Neurons and electrodes it’s all about signals.   Apparently signals are sent to the brain to do simple tasks.   Brian’s brain knows what it wants to do and he thinks like a normal person but on its way to complete the tasks things get jumbled and he gets confused and sometimes things go awry.    That’s why Brian kept asking was I Justin.   He knew I was Justin, but he had to reassure himself that I was Justin.   It didn’t make sense.   I’m scared, but I realize Brian most be terrified.

  


“Is it permanent?” Justin asked Dr. Hooks Brian’s neurologist.

  


“I can’t say that it is Justin, I can’t say that it isn’t.   Everyone is different the important thing is that you are there for him and that you let him know that you care.   Can you do that Justin, if you can’t here’s some places that will take him.” Dr. Hooks stated as he handed Justin a folder.

  


Justin thought that he’d vomit when he saw what the doctor had handed him.   Brochure on top of brochure for mental institutions, or “homes” for “special” people.    Brian might have been a bit confused about some things but when he looked at him he still saw his Brian.   He still loved him.  He wasn’t going to lock him away for anybody.   He was Brian.

  


“No thanks.   We’ll be fine.   Where is he now?” Justin asked.

  


“Well we want to see what it is that he remembers and he doesn’t.    So a nurse is with him now, and they are doing what anyone does at the start of the day.   They are getting dressed.

  


Brian didn’t like Nurse Kelly; she spoke to him like he was a child.   A child he definitely was not.

  


“Why are you here?” he asked.

  


“I’m here to help you, in case anything goes wrong that way you don’t have to wait for anyone to come in I’m already here.

  


“Bitch!” Brian thought.   “Thanks.” Brian said.

  


“Mr. Kinney it’s bath time so why don’t you just tell me if you were going to take a bath what would you need?” she asked him sensitively.

  


“Who the hell did this bitch think she was” Brian thought.   Like he didn’t know what he needed for a fucking bath.   “Stupid Bitch!” he thought again.

  


Brian looked at the items that were scattered across his table.   He wasn’t stupid he knew what he needed.   He needed his soap, a cloth, a towel, shaving crème, and of course his razor.  He didn’t see his razor they had stupid disposable ones but he guess that’s what they wanted him to get.   So he got them too.

  


Kelly Perkins was very happy that he had picked out the correct items.   She knew that he could do it.   He was proud that he had made such great progress.   If he could do this simple task then she knew that the damage wasn’t that severe and maybe just maybe everything would be okay for him.

  


“Okay Brian now go in there and take your bath.” She stated as they both walked into the bathroom.

  


“Okay you can leave now.” Brian stated.

  


“No I stay here while you shower.” Kelly stated.

  


“You can’t stand there while I take my bath I’m going to take off my robe I’ll be naked.” Brian stated looking at her like she was out of her damn mind.

  


“No like I told you I am here in case you need a little help just go over there and pull the shower curtain and I won’t be able to see.” She said as she pointed to the shower curtain.

  


“Ugly flowers.” Brian said referring to the shower curtain.

  


Taking a bath is easy.   Who couldn’t take a bath?” Brian thought

  


Brian was getting very frustrated before the bath even started.   He knew that he could do this.   Who can’t take a bath?   First things first, turn on the damn shower.   He looked at the knobs and pressed them.   Nothing happened.

  


“What the fuck?” he said out loud.

  


He then went to turn them, and nothing happened, they wouldn’t even budge that’s not right at all he thought.    He pulled the top of his shower gel and put some on the washcloth and began to wash his body.    See he knew that he could take a bath easy.   He dropped his towel in the bottom of the shower.   He didn’t even care that it was on the floor he just continued to rub himself.    He got to his cock which was hard for some odd reason and he began to wash himself.   The sensation was doing things to him and before he knew it he had forgotten what he was supposed to be doing and he was masturbating.   It felt so good; he could feel his release then—

  


“Mr. Kinney!”  Kate shrieked.

  


“What?” Brian asked angrily.

  


“Could you please not masturbate in front of me?” she asked nicely.

  


“Don’t look.” Brian replied as he continued to do it in front of Kate.   He didn’t stop until he came and then he felt very sleepy.

  


She couldn’t believe that he had done that right in front of her.   She was disappointed that he thought he was taking his bath, but it never occurred to him the fact that he didn’t use water.    Dissociation, she had to put that down as a symptom.  Poor guy, she would do whatever she could to make him better.

  


“Alright Mr. Kinney, we are going to try the bath again only this time we are going to do it with the water.” Then she leaned into him and turned on the dial.   It really hurt her when she saw the look of shame on his face when he realized that he was there naked soaped from his head to his toe, but not one drop of water had touched him.

  


“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

  


“It’s fine Brian, and don’t you worry things will get better.

  


 

  


“You understand what I just said right?”  Justin asked his daughter.

  


“Yea you said that daddy hurt his head and he may not know me.    Why not?   Did he forget you too?   Did he forget Gus?” Izzy asked.

  


“No I’m not sure that he forgot Gus and if he remembers me well yea he does, yesterday he didn’t believe I was me but this morning  he believed I was me so yea he remembers me. “

  


“So he might remember me tomorrow if he doesn’t remember me today?” she asked.

  


“Yea.” Was all he said hoping to god that Brian didn’t hurt his little girl’s feelings when he returned to his room?

  


 

  


“Are we going to see your dad today?” Chris asked as she entered the house.

  


“I don’t know why don’t we just stay here and watch some TV or something.” Gus responded.

  


“That could be cool, but I understand if you want to go and see your dad, after what happened the other day.   I mean seems like the security should be a bit better at that hospital so that the patients can’t just wander anything could have happened to your dad.    If I were Justin I would speak to them about that.”

  


“Could we not talk about him right now?   I mean you haven’t even kissed me yet all you do is talk about dad being in that place being like that.”

  


Chris was not stupid.   She knew that it was killing Gus to see his father like that, and she also knew that he was trying to shut down his emotions not show her that he had a heart.   He should know by now that she knew better.  She wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t a loving person and he was.   He was the most understanding man that she knew.   She didn’t care that her parents thought they were too young to know what real love was.   She knew it and she found it in him.   He was her everything.

  


“Fine, we can sit around and watch movies if you like, but know this I’m here for you Gus, no matter what you want to do.   If you want to sit here and watch movies, or go and see your dad I’m here.   Where’s Izzy?”

  


“Justin took her to see dad.”

  


“Oh I wonder how that is going.   I mean I heard that he can be mean if he gets confused about something.”

  


“Yea I just couldn’t be there when he did something to her, I would freak before I realized that he couldn’t help himself.”

  


“Maybe it’ll be a good visit.

  


“Maybe.” He silently hoped that it was for his sister’s sake.

  


 

  


Justin could hear them before they entered the room.   Brian was upset about something, he guess the bath didn’t go as good as they hoped.    He was cursing the nurse he believed her name was Kate or Katie.   He really wanted to talk to her about Brian’s progress but Lindsay had brought down Izzy eventhough he didn’t really want her to see Brian right now but here she was and she couldn’t turn her away now.    She was bouncing up and down on her feet.   She was smiling from the moment she heard him curse.   She loved Brian, and she knew that sometimes he had a temper.   He was also so gentle with her.   He begged god to let him be okay with her.

  


Brian entered the room and he saw Justin standing there with a little girl.   Her brown hair and blue eyes looking at him intensely she was torn between standing there and jumping him.  What was she going to do?

  


“Isabella.” He thought.

  


“Izzy!” he said.

  


That was all that it took.   He said her name, and he remembered her.   She threw herself at his feet and then she took his hand as he slowly walked back to his bed.   He climbed inside and she slid right beside him and began telling him everything about her days since he been gone and he listened.

  


“Daddy told me that you may not remember me but I knew you would remember me and you did.” She beamed.

  


“Of course Peanut how could I forget you, never.

  


She beamed even more when he called her his nickname.   He was the only one who called her peanut and she loved that.   She told him about her day, and how her kitten had scratched Lindsay.   He asked if he remembered Lindsay and he told her of course.   He said of course a lot but she didn’t care.   He smelt like her daddy and he looked like him and she didn’t even know what anyone was talking about he was her daddy.   She told him that she felt tired, and he told her to go to sleep right there beside him and he would be there when she woke up and she knew he would.   She closed her eyes and thought about her daddy and what that would do when they got home.   She loved him.

  


Justin looked at the interactions between the two of them.   There was something off about them.   He was shocked when he saw her, he couldn’t hide the look from him.   He quickly hid it from Izzy but not from him.   He wanted to say something but he kept it a secret once she started talking.   He winced when she touched him but he didn’t let it show to her.   Something was off and he waited until she was sound asleep before he said anything.

  


“Brian what’s the matter?” Justin asked.

  


“Nothing.” He said.

  


“Brian I’m not stupid how was it with Kate and the bath?” He asked cautiously.

  


“I forgot to turn the fucking water on, and we had to do it all over again.   Stupid, I’m fucking stupid that’s what I am.” He said getting upset.

  


“You’re not stupid, you have gone through something and it’s going to take some time to get back to who you were but I’m here for you Brian.   We will get through this together.

  


“Yea this is nothing.” Brian thought.

  


“NO!  Fuck off!” Brian said.

  


“You can’t get rid of me like that anymore Brian.   I know that you are all over the place but I will be here for you, Izzy too.” He added as he kissed Brian on the forehead.

  


“That’s another thing, what the hell is Mikey’s kid doing here and I thought her name was JR.” He stated as he looked down on the girl sleeping in his side.”

  


That was it, Justin couldn’t take anymore he didn’t remember their daughter.   He couldn’t hold it in any longer he broke down right then and there.    Brian wasn’t trying he wasn’t  trying at all he didn’t care that he didn’t remember them but this little girl was in the bed thinking that she was sleeping next to her daddy and he had no idea who she was.   How was he going to explain that to her when she woke up that he didn’t know who she was?   It would cut her to the core.

  


Brian took in the distraught Justin.   “Why was he so upset?” he thought.   Then it hit him like a hurricane.   Flashes of the little one in her cradle and the life that he had with her.   She was his little peanut.  She was theirs.    How could he forget her, she was his baby, how could he forget that. 

  


“I remember Justin.” He said making Justin jump.    I remember that she ours.” Brian said with a smile.  “No need to give up on me yet.   I’m not totally useless.” Brian stated and he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

  


Justin didn’t like to hear that, he couldn’t help the sting that came to his eyes.   Brian was still Brian he had to let him know that he still believed that and do his best to make sure he didn’t forget it.  He had to stop snapping and getting upset at every little thing.   Brian was doing the best he could, what kind of husband was he if he couldn’t be there for his spouse.  He needed his mom, she would get him through this, and she would tell him what he needed to do.  No couldn’t call her, too much stress.   She couldn’t handle stress right now.  He could do this he was a man.

  


Christina lowered Gus’ head down on the couch and started to walk around the house.   Britin2.   It was a nice place, and Gus had told her of the fire that had taken the life of his mom’s mistress and how distraught she was after that.   He was ten when she went away.   He knew that it had to be killing him that she was back now.   He loved her so much but was hurt when she had to go away, even more hurt that Melanie a woman that was his other mother had pretty much given him away after that.   How can a person do that?    Especially someone who was supposed to be his mother, who had fought so much to call him her own and then because she was betrayed by the woman that she loved she just had given him away.    He told her how she had realized her mistake and came back for him when he was twelve and how he didn’t want to go, but because his father had no legal rights to him he had no choice but to give him back.   Mel realized her mistake though, and they worked something out.   They had a good relationship now but they probably wouldn’t get back to how they were.   So many people had hurt Gus but Brian was his constant she could see it in the photographs all over the mantle.   Brian was his son’s father in every way and now would they ever be that way again.    She walked into a room far off to the right, and when she turned on the light she was astounded by what she saw.

  


Lindsay sat in the cafeteria at the hospital still trying to build up the courage to go and see Brian.   She would use going to check on Izzy as an excuse to get in to him.   Part of her was relieved that there was some brain damage and maybe just maybe he forget that he was mad at her.   She shook her head unable to believe what she had just said.

  


“Stupid.” She said out loud.

  


“You are not stupid.” Melanie said as she sat down beside her.   “You are afraid of what he might say when you go in there.    I saw him yesterday and he was nice, which well in his case with me is okay.   We’ve come to a crossroad in our relationship.   We are dare I say friends.   We had to become friends because of Gus.   You weren’t around to play referee so we had to get along or he would end up getting hurt.   Gus was more important to both of us.” Melanie stated.

  


“Of course that was after you dropped him literally on Brian’s doorstep after you couldn’t bear to look at him.”  Lindsay spat out immediately covering her mouth after she realized what said.

  


“I’m so sorry Melanie I shouldn’t have said that.”  Lindsay stated.

  


“No you are right, I did him wrong.   I just couldn’t look at him without seeing you and Brian.   Nothing of me looked back at me and I blamed him for what you did and what I thought Brian had done.   It was yet another reason for me to hate him.   You served it to me on a silver platter and I never believed him when he said that he had no idea you were going there to cheat on me.   I just believed since the two of you had the relationship that you had I just figured of course he knew because it was a reason for him to get at me.   You made me feel that, you made me doubt his honesty.”

  


“No I didn’t.     That was one thing that everyone knew about Brian.   No apologies, no regrets he didn’t lie.   He told you what he wanted you to know whether it was something good or bad about you.   Whether it was something that was going to make you love or hate him.   He was always brutally honest, that’s a quality I love about him.    He’s not that person anymore is he?” Lindsay stated realizing there was a good chance that person was gone for good.

  


“Maybe not know, but there’s no reason he can’t return to being that asshole we all know and love.” Melanie stated positively.

  


“You think?” Lindsay asked hoping.

  


“Yea come on, I’ll go up with you if you want.” Melanie stated reaching for Lindsay’s hand.

  


Lindsay looked at that hand for a long time and it stood there out in the open.   Would she grab it?   Could she grab it?    She could if she wanted this back, if she wanted Melanie, Gus, and Izzy, and of course JR.   “Yes she could do this.” She thought as she grabbed her hand with a squeeze.

  


“Come on lets go up.” She stated as they headed for the elevators.

  


 

  


Brian awoke with a start.    That what hurt the most waking up, waking up and everything seeming normal until he opened his mouth and it all went to shit.   This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go and this was not how it was going to remain.    It was all very easy if he really thought about it.    This so called “New Brian” well he had to die.

  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	5. Recovery by Galesgal

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


Adjusting Can Be a Bitch by Galesgal

  


  


  
Author's Notes:   


  


I don't know what happened in this chapter.   I sort of like it but wanted more.

  


  


Adjusting Can be a Bitch

 

 

When Gus woke up the first thing he noticed was that he had a crick in his neck for lying awkwardly on the couch.   The second thing he noticed was that he was alone.   He knew that when he fell asleep Christina was there.   Had she left?    Then he noticed the room open and he jumped up to find her.

Christina couldn’t believe her eyes.   It was beautiful.   It was their whole town.   Everything about it an exact replica right before her eyes.   She could tell that it all was hand crafted with such detail.   Detail that took time and patience it was beautiful.

“This is incredible!” she shrieked when she heard Gus enter.

“I know.   It all started with the first train.    It was a simple track and then we talked about how the train needed a village to go through.    So we decided it would be Liberty.   I never knew my dad knew much about engineering.   He made the first train and I couldn’t believe it.   He wanted us to bond over something and this is what we bonded over.    We go to the Expo every year.   Dad even puts on a conductor uniform and he does it all authentically.” He stated and then his face fell.

“Don’t even think that.   You and he will be back to this in no time.    Are you doing a train this year, or apart of the town?    I never thought when I entered here this was what I’d find.   This is just wow Gus; this is something for you to be proud of.    Does he show it?” she asked hoping to get him to talk.

“Yea, he does a film every year explaining everything that he does with the new addition.   I just shoot the camera but he does the commentary in costume.   It’s sort of like Cosplay.

“Cosplay?” she questioned.

“You know like all those geeks at the Comic Book Conventions dressed as Spiderman or Doctor Who.  Spending their weekends in the woods or such pretending to be their hero or some shit like that.   Dad and I go to the Train Expo every year.   Well I go, sometimes he has meetings so I take the tape that we work on.   He puts on the plaid shirt and overalls, sometimes he even takes the accent of an old southerner and talks about how he loves his trains and then we show how the pieces go together to make the train car or village that we are working on.   When Britin2 was complete that year we did sort of a reenactment of Britin burning down and the next year we unveiled the replica of this place.   I had a lot of fun doing it with him.   After Melanie threw me away.” He said sadly.

“I’m so sorry that had to happen to you Gus.    I know she loves you though, the way she talks about you.   She came back for you, and she’s here now so that is what you should try and focus on.   It would’ve been worst if she had gone and never come back.” Chris tried to make him see the truth in what she was saying.

“If you say so.” He replied.

“So does this like light up or something, can I see it go around the track.” She asked.

“Oh it can even snow my friend snow.” He said happily as he pulled a huge controller from under the counter.

 

JR Novotny had never been happier for the weekend to come in her life.   All while she was away her Uncle Brian gets flattened by a Street Sweeper.   “No way!” she just had to see this herself.   She had called her dad and he had told her what room she could find him in and now she was entering Pittsburgh General still wearing her uniform.   She was on a mission she had to see was his brain really scrambled like eggs.  If it was she couldn’t help but think how cool could that be.

JR entered room 321 on the “Brain Floor”.     She was surprised to find the room completely empty but even more shocked when she found the window was open.   She decided that she would investigate.    
So she went outside to see who was on the balcony.

“Jump off the balcony.” Brian thought to himself.   That was pretty simple right, but now that he was outside of this hospital he was appalled that they had bars around everything, but then they had enough room for a person to sit if they felt like it but they were unable to jump to their death.   He wanted to jump to his death!   He didn’t have much time Justin would be back soon and he would be watching him for the rest of the day.  He had to get his fucking body to do what his fucking brain wanted to do.

“Hey!” shouted JR.

Brian looked to his left and there she was, one JR Novotny.   Fresh from school in her plaid skirt and light blue shirt.   That’s where the school girl fantasy ended.   Her hair was jet black and crinkled she had so much black around her eyes he didn’t know if she was going for the bandit, or raccoon look.  She wore a giant crucifix around her neck.   She looked like death’s love child.

“You death?” Brian asked.

“What are you doing out here Brian?” she asked as she climbed out to join him.

“I’m trying to kill myself of course.” Brian thought.   “I don’t know.” Brian said.

“Well get back in here, I brought lunch.” She said reaching for his hand.

“Damn it!  Stupid JR ruining everything, I had finally got him out there on the ledge.” Brian thought.

Brian looked at her hand and decided it was best to give up for now, he took it and they entered his room.

She had spoken the truth when she said that she had brought lunch.   On his bed were a couple of sandwiches and a couple of Capri Sun Kid drinks.   Some fruit and even pieces of pie, she had really thought this lunch thing through.

“I told Grandma Deb that I was coming and then she said to bring your favorites because she was sure that you were tired of hospital food.   So it took an hour for me to get her to put this shit together.   So are you hungry?” she asked.

She took in the look of Brian for the first time and it broke her heart.   He was just standing there looking at the food.   Twice he reached out to grab something but both times he stopped himself like he was unsure if he really wanted it or if he thought that someone was going to take it from him.   He picked up one of the drinks and pulled the straw from the side but he couldn’t get the straw to go into the hole, he got frustrated and just threw it on the floor.   He put his hands in his pockets and decided there was something more interesting about his feet then looking at her, and then she noticed his shoes were on the wrong feet.

“Oh Uncle B.” she whispered.    “Well I tell you, one thing that just gets on my nerves all the time is this stupid straw and how they expect you to be able to get it in this damn hole.  That’s why I carry this.” She stated as she took a pair of scissors from her backpack and cut off the side of the drink and began to drink from the side of it as if it were a milk cartoon.  She didn’t even glance at the one he had thrown across the room, she just picked up another one and opened it the way she had opened hers and gave it to him.

He took it with shaky hands.   He really was thirsty and he had no idea where Justin was, or that Katie woman.   No one really wanted to be around him since he had told them all to go fuck themselves this morning after he cut his neck while he was shaving.   He liked JR she was nice.    “Was she always this nice?” he wondered.

“I’m pathetic.” He said.

“Oh never say that Uncle B, you just have to adjust to all of this.   I’m here now, and everything will be fine.   I can’t stay long but I’ll come back tomorrow, and look I brought lunch so come on sit down and have lunch with me.   I even have a surprise.” She smiled as she took 3 Lemon Squares from her backpack.

“Dear God what have I become.” He thought. 

“Lemon Squares!” he said.

Justin sat in his car looking up at the room that Brian was in dreading going inside.   He knew that was wrong and that he should be ecstatic that Brian was alive but he wasn’t.   He was happy that he was alive of course but that was not Brian.   It hadn’t been that long and there was still swelling but now they were telling him that when the swelling went down there would still be complications.   The trauma had crossed wires and now Brian might be the way he is forever.   Could he take that?   He always knew that they would be differences in him and Brian because of their age difference and he had seen Brian through the cancer and he knew that there was more to come but now.   So soon, could he do this?  Brian had nearly cut his throat this morning shaving.   Was this his life now?   Would he have to watch him like a little baby?   Was he selfish and cruel that a part of him just wanted to get Izzy and leave and never come back?   He was torn from his thoughts by his phone ringing.

“Hello.” He answered.

“Honey, how are you?” came the reply of Jennifer on the other end.

“This could be better mom.” He replied.

“Honey, how is he?   I’ve talked to Tucker and we’re coming back down to the house.” She replied.

“Mom you can’t, this situation is full of too much stress.   What about the baby?” Justin asked referring to the fact that with his mother’s age her pregnancy was very stressful and this situation was very stressful.

“My other baby needs me, and I’m coming down, so you be at the airport tomorrow morning to pick us up, when are they letting him out?” she asked.

“Well that all depends on the meetings this afternoon with the therapists.”

“Oh I remember those days back when you had your accident.  You were so angry at the world.   You thought you would never get the use back in your hand and Brian was there.   I remember the first day I caught him there talking to your therapist.  I was so angry, but then when you had your fit at the house and he came and got you.   I was so happy, he was more able to care for you than I was, without your father I don’t know what I would’ve done if he wouldn’t have been there.   I have to come down and help where I can.   I miss not being in Pittsburgh anyways.  Now that Deb is retired she and I can get together and just talk.   I miss you.”

“Lindsay’s back.” Justin shared preparing his mother for everything that was currently going on.

“I know.  I talked to Daphne; you know she had gone up there to see her a few times.” She said referring to the hospital Lindsay was in.

“I know.   They are past it all can you believe that, she forgave her.

“She had too honey, neither one of them would’ve been able to recover if they hadn’t forgave.   It’s something they both would never forget but being angry with each other would solve nothing.”

“I know mom.   She hasn’t gone to see Brian yet.”

“Oh honey, I don’t think she should.   Brian was very angry with her, and then she just left Izzy like that.   The poor kid is still young and she’s barely had a mother.   With how Brian is now I don’t think the two of them should be alone in the same room together.” She said stating her concern.

“Mom I better go!   Melanie and Lindsay could be up there right now, I’ll call you later.” He said as he hung up and ran from the car.

“I just want to say thanks for everything.” Gus told Chris as he walked her too her car.

“You’re welcome Gus I’d do anything for you, when my uncle heard everything that happened he understood that I needed to be here.   He knew that you wouldn’t try anything when we were alone.  I thought he would be angry when I fell asleep and ended up spending the night but he was fine with it.”

“Tell him I’m sorry about that, but thanks again for listening and of course letting me share my train with you.”

“You can share anything with me Gus, that’s what I’m here for.   I’m your girlfriend and I love you.   Tomorrow you and I are going to see your dad.”

“We don’t have to; he may be getting home then.”

“Well if he doesn’t.   I love you Augustus Markus Peterson Kinney.” She stated as she gave him a kiss goodbye.

“I love you too. Christina Amelia Hobbs.” And he kissed her goodbye.

 

JR sat there quietly watching as her Uncle Brian nodding on the bed.  He was so cute; he kept catching himself and jerking when he felt himself falling asleep.    It was so adorable.   How it that she was finding this man that is about fifty to be adorable.   Maybe because he didn’t look that old, she could always come to her Uncle B. whenever she needed anything and it really hurt to see that he wasn’t himself any longer.   Mind you he wasn’t drooling or anything gross like that but she could tell that it was killing him not to be himself.

“Why don’t you sleep?” she asked him.

“Can’t bad dreams.” He whispered.

“It’s okay.   I still don’t have to be home for a while I’ll stay if you need to take a little nap.” She stated as she took her lighter from his table that she had been playing with earlier.

“You don’t need that.” Then he took it back.

“How can I sat my dolls on fire without my lucky lighter.” She asked.

He looked at the lighter, it was nice.   He looked closer and realized that it was Melanie’s he had given it to her on her birthday.  He begin to strike it and play with the flame level.   He really liked it, it was expensive and she was playing with it.

“This cost 2 grand.” He mumbled

“Two grand! She shrieked.   She was about to go on but the door opened and she was shocked to find Lindsay and her Mother on the other end.

“Mom!” she cried.  

Lindsay was shocked and thrilled when she found her arms filled with 14 year old JR.

“I missed you so much.” She told Lindsay and she leaned in closer to her ear and whispered something that no one could make out.

“What?” Lindsay shrieked.

“Yea he did.   Well I’m going to leave you three alone for a while.  It’s good to see you mom.   Mother I’ll see you at the homestead.    Later Uncle B.” and she was gone.

Lindsay understood perfectly what her daughter had whispered into her ear and she walked towards the window in Brian’s room closed it and locked it hoping that he wouldn’t figure out how to open it again before Justin or someone got there and she could explain.

“How are you feeling Brian?” Melanie asked.

“Fine.” Was his one word answer as he continued to flick the lighter in his hand, and then he began to rummage through his drawers.

“Brian, I know you see that I’m not alone.   Look who came to see you.” She said referring to Lindsay.

“Hi Brian, how are you feeling?” she asked but Brian wasn’t paying her any attention he had found what he had been looking for.

Melanie didn’t like the way that this was going, Brian was completely ignoring Lindsay and was that a cigarette he had?   He couldn’t light that in there the alarms would go off.

“Brian don’t!” she screamed causing the lighter to slip from his hand and catch his bedspread before it went out and clanked to the ground.

The clinking noise combined with the flaming bedspread reminded Lindsay of the fire at Britin and she ran from the room screaming trying to escape the flames.   She nearly knocked down Justin as he entered the room to find Melanie getting the fire extinguisher and putting out the flames and Brian beating his hand against the wall saying over and over again he was sorry.   Seeing all of this Justin thought back to what his mom said in the car adjusting would take time.   Well when he saw all of this all he could was that adjusting could be a real bitch.

  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	6. Recovery by Galesgal

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


Coming Home by Galesgal

  


  


  
Author's Notes:   


  


This chapter was going to be a lot longer but this scene was just too sweet and i decided to end it hear.  Hope you guys like it.

  


  


Coming Home

  


It has really been a long month.   After Brian nearly sat his whole room on fire they decided that it wasn’t time for him to come home yet.   I totally agreed.   We spent the last month meeting with people and teaching Brian to do everyday tasks.   It was hard.   It’s not that he doesn’t know what he’s doing because he does; it’s just that everything is so different now.   I can do this, they say the road to recovery is not straight, that there are tons of curves and as long as Brian has a map he can make it.   I’m his map.   I’m actually excited; I get to take him home today.

  


Brian looked at himself in the mirror and he would admit it he didn’t like the person that stared back at him.   The man that stared back was not him; it was who he used to be.   Confident and in charge, his reflection knew where he was and where he wanted to go.   He knew where he was but he had no clue where he was going.   He didn’t get to make those decisions anymore.   People came in with clipboards and post-its and told him where he was going and where he needed to be.   Someone came in and laid his clothes out and watched from a corner while he dressed and bathe himself.   They were sure to point out if he buttoned his shirt wrong or if he’s shoes were on the wrong feet.   Oh how they loved making him remember that something about him had been altered.   Justin was the same, he would come in and hold his hand and give him a reassuring smile but he hadn’t kissed him since the night Gus had brought him back.   Not to mention fuck him, he had tried to get him to blow him in the bathroom but he wasn’t remotely interested.   He didn’t blame him.  He was nothing.

  


“Daddy!” shouted Izzy as she entered Brian’s room.

  


“Peanut!” Brian called as he took her in his arms.   At least he had her, she didn’t treat him differently.   In her book he was still her daddy.   That was something, now all he had to do was prove it to the others.

  


“I tried to make her stay at the house, but she insisted on coming.” Justin explained.

  


“No need to explain, I’m glad she came.   Can we leave now?” Brian asked.

  


“Of course, do you have everything?” Justin asked, but he didn’t wait for Brian to reply he started going through the drawers and he went into the bathroom double checking if he had left anything.

  


“I have everything; you don’t have to check after me like I’m a child!” Brian shouted.

  


“Calm down.    Remember what the doctor said.  It’s okay if something upsets you but there’s no need to have an outburst.” Justin stated as he came to Brian and rubbed the nape of his neck.   “Are you alright?” he asked.

  


“Yea, can we just go?” Brian asked.

  


“Sure.”

  


“Daddy, wait until you see my room now it’s blue.   Remember you were going to paint it for me but then you got sick, and daddy said that he didn’t want you to have to worry about a thing so he got the painters to come down, so now it’s blue.   I have my stars and moons and everything I can’t wait for you to see.” Izzy stated as she bounced between the two of them as she left the hospital.   She waved to all the nurses and some of the patients.   She had come to see Brian a lot and she had learned a lot of names.   They loved her there.   She was going to miss them all but she was glad that her daddy was finally well enough to come home.

  


 

  


“I’m telling you all, you should go.   I don’t think when he gets out he is going to be up to guests.  He’ll probably just want to come home and sleep or color.” Gus stated.

  


“How the hell would you know what he wants to do?   He was in that place a fucking month and you never went to see him.  He’s not that bad Gus, he’s pretty much still Uncle B.   he just gets confused sometimes and is easily agitated but most of that time that’s when folks like you treat him in how you are prepared to treat him.   I went to see him twelve times and you couldn’t even see him once!” JR stated angrily.

  


‘JR!” scorned Michael.

  


“It’s the truth dad.   If that were you, I would have been there every day.   Nothing could have kept me away.   He didn’t go once.   What the hell kind of son are you?” she asked getting right in his face.

  


“JR your brother doesn’t have to explain himself.   Some people just deal with things like this a little differently.   I talked to Brian and he understood.    He didn’t want Gus to see him in that place, he didn’t want to see you their either but he said you wouldn’t stay away.” Melanie explained.

  


“I don’t need you taking up for me Mel.” Then he left the living room where everyone was waiting.

  


“Gus.” Lindsay tried to grab for him when he walked by but he pulled away from her as well.   “I’m sorry Melanie.” Lindsay tried to make her lover feel better.

  


“No he has his right to be that way, I did him wrong Lindsay.    I wasn’t there for him when he needed me and it was so wrong of me.   I’m going to do everything I can to make it up to him.   I’ve been trying to make him see how sorry I am for so long now.”

  


“We both have to make it up to him, but JR wow she speaks her mind doesn’t she.” Lindsay added.

  


“That’s my girl.” Quipped Melanie.

  


Justin looked into his rearview mirror as they were pulling up and couldn’t help but smile.   It was moments like this that he was completely positive that Izzy was Brian’s daughter.   He had decided to sit in the back with her and now they both were sound asleep with their faces pressed up against their respected windows.   They both were snoring and it was the just cutest thing that he had ever seen. 

  


“Home sweet home.” He thought to himself.   He said  a silent prayer hoping that everything would go alright today.   Brian was better now.   He still wasn’t his Brian and he knew now that he would never get his Brian back but he could love this Brian.  He really could, he just hoped no one would upset him at this party.   He needed to have a good homecoming.

  


Christina knew Britin like the back of her hand now and she knew exactly where to find Gus, he was in the room with the train.   Just sliding his hands over each train.   She could tell that he wanted to cry but he wouldn’t, at least not know when someone could see.

  


“She’s wrong you know.” She stated as she put her hands around his waist.

  


“No she’s not.    I was horrible.   I didn’t go and see him not once.   They say we are just alike and they kept coming and telling me how he said he didn’t want me to see him in that place.   He did, he wanted me to come and I didn’t.   I’m a no good son.   He’s not even dead, Ted said that when he went to see him he only did one weird thing the whole time that most of the visit he was pretty much him, and here I am sitting in here mourning him and he’s not even dead.”

  


“It’s fine.   If the two of you are anything alike then he knew you weren’t going to come and he want hold it against you.   So why don’t you stop hiding and go on and greet your dad.   I heard him and Justin pull up a few minutes ago.”

  


“Okay.” Gus took her hand and they exited the workshop to look for his father.

  


Waking up is always the worst.   You have to access everything; you have to remember what you were doing when you fell asleep and if you were doing something important or if you were in fact supposed to be asleep.   Waking up is the worst, and I hate it, but it would be so much worst if I didn’t wake up, so I thank the big guy for the fact that I do.

  


Brian opened his eyes and was very shocked to find out that he was in fact inside of a car.  “What the fuck?” he thought.    Then he realized that he had come home.   He was home and they had just gotten out of the car and left him.   I guess they just figured hey what kind of man can’t get out of a car, or whatever.  Of course I can get out of a car.   “Okay get the fuck out of the car.” Brian thought.

  


Brian reached for the door but it wouldn’t budge.   He looked at the lock and it was up, and it’s up when the door is unlocked so why the fuck couldn’t he unlock the door.   He reached for the handle again, but he got nothing.   He giggled it, and still nothing.   He took a couple of reassuring breaths and thought  to himself that everything was okay, he wasn’t in any kind of danger he could just get out of the car.

  


“Damn it.” He screamed.

  


He pulled and he pulled again and again and still the door wouldn’t open.   Why was the world so cruel, why did the world hate him so fucking much?   He began to beat his head up against the window, surely they would hear that right?   Right?”

  


Isabella had been in the house forever and she noticed that her daddy still hadn’t gotten out of the car.  Justin had just left him there, she would go and see what was keeping him.   She went out and saw her daddy couldn’t get out, he couldn’t get his seatbelt to come undone and his door wouldn’t open.   She knew why, her daddy had left the special locks on the backdoor so she couldn’t fall out but she knew how to take them off.   She climbed back in the car on the driver seat and clicked the little button that removed the child safety locks and watched as her daddy practically ran from the car.

  


Brian was outside trying to catch his breath, he had gone beyond hyperventilating and he was pretty sure if he didn’t calm himself soon he would probably blackout.   He didn’t need that, he didn’t need to blackout.

  


“It’s okay daddy, you just have to breathe.”  Isabella stated.    She knew what this was, her daddy Justin would do this sometime and then her daddy would have him sit down.   She grabbed Brian’s hand and led him to the comfy chairs that were outside the front of their house.

  


“It’s okay daddy.   Everything is alright just breathe no one can see.” She explained.   She knew what she was doing she had watch her dad and he said these things to Justin.   She was helping, she liked helping.

  


Brian looked up in the eyes of this sweet girl and he couldn’t help it.   Just when he thought that he would kill himself a face like hers would make him remember what he was living for.   Her, she loved him, and she still saw the man that she always known.   That is who would get better for.   Forget Justin and his non touching and Gus and his dejection.   He didn’t need any of them.   He had Izzy.

  


“Thanks Peanut.” He said and he gave her a good squeeze.

  


“So you wanna go in now, Grandma Joan brought cake.   I asked could I have a slice and she said that you had to get the first slice because it was your favorite.”

  


“Yea come on, I’ll give you a big slice for helping me.”

  


Brian took her hand and they walked into the house.   He didn’t know what was about to happen but when he looked at her happy face and felt her warm hand in his coming home wasn’t so bad.

  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	7. Recovery by Galesgal

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


Coming Home Part 2 by Galesgal

  


  


  
Author's Notes:   


  


It's really not as bad as it seems.

  


  


Coming Home Part 2

Gus Peterson was a coward.   A coward  was, Chris was helping him to find his dad but then Debbie had called for God knows what and he had went on search on his own.   WE he found him, he didn’t know what to do.  He saw him struggling with the seatbelt and he knew the right thing to do was to help, but where was Justin?    Who had put his father in this predicament?   He wanted to help, but he didn’t want to belittle his father.   Even as he saw him panicking in his seat, and practically crying he didn’t help, instead he ran.   He ran like a little kid, and now he stood in his bedroom with the lights off hoping no one would find him.

“Hey you, where did you disappear too did you find him?” Christina asked.

“Oh I found him, but he was talking and I didn’t want to interrupt.” Gus lied.

“Really?   I didn’t even know that he came in yet, I saw Justin but I didn’t see him.   He must’ve have gone upstairs or something.   No harm, come on let’s go and talk to him.

“I don’t know, it’s getting to be a lot of people here, and you know how it can be.   How about you and I go and grab a burger or something and come back when it’s quieter?” Gus asked hoping for once she was just go with him and not try to analyze everything.

“You have to stop running.   He’s home now and he’s going to be living in the house with you.   You will see him every day, there’s no more running.   Now I know if I were your dad I would be dying to see you.   The two of you are so close, don’t you think he wants to see you?” she asked.

“No.  That’s not him okay!” Gus snapped.

“I lied.    I lied to you about going to see my dad.” He cried.

“What are you talking about?   No one told me you went to see him, he didn’t even tell me when I went to see him.   He thought you were going to come in.   He kept asking for you and then I had to lie and say you had Izzy, you should have seen the hurt on his face.   You told me you didn’t go and see him, when did you go and see him?” she asked confused.

“I went right after he had the fire in the room.   Mom came back and she was upset and they said that he had sat the room on fire, and I thought back to Britin burning and how upset he was after finding Sarah and so I went there.  They said that he had been upset and they had finally gotten him to calm down and I could go in.   I went in like a fool and he was…they had too…they had tied him to the bed.   His arms and his legs and he was trying to break free and he was mad.   He was crazy, I went and I tried to comfort him and I told him that I was Gus and he told me that I wasn’t.  He didn’t fucking know who I was.   I called for the nurse and she told me that it was normal.   That they had to give him something to calm him down and with his injury sometimes it affects the mind.  He was crazy, I don’t know who that man was but it was not my father.”

Christina really didn’t know what to say when he told her that.   She realized that if it were her father and she went and saw him like that it would mess up her big time.   She wouldn’t be running from him though.   She would be there for him to tell him that it was going to be alright.   Gus had to stop being so afraid.   He had been abandoned by so many people, but during all of this his father had been there for him and well it was time that he be there for his dad.

“Gus, they said that it was because of the drugs that he was acting that way.   He’s better now, when I went and saw him he told me all these stories about when you were a kid.   He loves you so much.   He only forgot who I was twice and that’s understandable since it was only his second time meeting me and both times were after his injury.   He told me about your trains, and he was so worried that you wouldn’t want to see him that way.   He was so afraid that you wouldn’t want him to be your dad.  He was afraid that you would think he left you and he’s right.   The two of you are so much alike that it hurts sometimes.”

“No Christina I thought that would be the case.   That it was just a bad moment when I caught him but when I got outside he was still in the car.   He couldn’t get out, I think Justin had the child locks on and he just left him there to fend for himself.   How the hell could he do that, just leave him in the car?” Gus asked getting upset.

“Justin doesn’t know if he’s coming or going at the moment.   He’s worried about your dad and Izzy and of course you but through all of this he is worried about your dad because something keeps telling him that he is not going to get back the man that he loves, and he’s still clinging to that.   You can see that when you talk to him.   He doesn’t talk about what’s going on with Brian now, all of his memories are in the past and when Brian gets back to normal.   He is normal.   Don’t you love him Gus?” she asked quietly.

“Of course I love him, don’t ask something like that Christina you know I love my father.”

Christina knew that she had cut a chord because he was speaking to her using her whole name.

“Then get your ass down those stairs and give him the biggest hug you can give.   He needs you right now, because Justin isn’t enough.   He needs us all.”

“I know.   Could you just give me a moment alone please?”

“Gus?” she questioned.

“I’m just going to change and wash my face I’ll be down in ten minutes.   If I’m not you can come down here and get me.”

“Okay, I think I am going to get a slice of your grandma’s cake.   I’ll be timing you mister.” Then she kissed him on the cheek and left the room.

Joan Kinney watched from a distance as her son and his daughter entered the house.   She could tell immediately that something had him upset.   She and Brian hadn’t totally forgiven each other for things said in the past but they at least were civil with each other.   He had allowed her to come back to his family when she had a stroke three years ago.    She still didn’t approve of his lifestyle but when he took her in his home and cared for her when her own daughter refused she got to know Justin as a person and as a person she quite liked him a lot.    She couldn’t understand their relationship but she treasured the friendship she had forged with Justin and little Izzy even called her grandma.   She wanted to go to her son, but would he allow her to give him comfort?    She was about to find out.

Brian couldn’t believe the comfort that his little girl was providing for him.   She shouldn’t be the one providing comfort it should be the other way around, but here he was sitting in their favorite spot while she went on and on about everything just like it was a typical night.   They were guests all around at a party he guesses for him but he was glad no one seemed to bother or even care that he was there.

“So do you want me to go and get the cake now daddy?” Izzy asked.

“Yea why don’t you go ahead and tell grandma to give us both a slice.   Get yourself a big one but a small one for me.”

“Did I hear someone say something about my cake?” Joan asked as she approached them both with a slice of her cake.

“Thanks mom.” Brian stated as he took the fork in his hand.   Sometimes his hands would shake when he was upset and he tried not to seem upset because Izzy was there and she still thought he was the same, but when he took the fork his hand shook.

“Izzy do you want to do you think you can be a good girl and do your grandma a favor?” Joan asked.

“Oh yea I sure can I can do you a favor.” She answered excited about what she could be doing.

“Well you just can’t have chocolate cake without milk and on the counter in the kitchen are two glasses of milk I fixed for you and your daddy, why don’t you go on in there and get them and then you can have your cake.”

“I can do that, I’ll be right back daddy you can go ahead and eat if you like it looks so good.” Then she ran from the living room leaving them alone.

Brian once again reached for the fork and tried again to complete the simple task of eating his cake but once again his hand shook.  He was upset, he had all the right to be, his partner left him a car to rot, it was his party but no one was talking to him, his son hated him, Justin too.   The only person who wanted to carry on a conversation with him was a 4 year old.   He wasn’t this far gone, was he?   If he was he truly was pathetic.

“I remember when I had just had my stroke.” Joan started as she took the fork from her son and fed him a forkful of his favorite cake.   “My emotions were everywhere, I would be so upset one minute, and insanely happy the next.   I didn’t know what was the matter with me, they told me that after the brain suffers a shock of some kind that it can take a while for everything to find a balance.   You remember me then I can barely move.   I didn’t want anyone doing a thing for me, and I couldn’t even walk.    Your baby was barely walking but you got me here and you took care of me Brian.   That’s when I got to know Justin as more than just your boy.    You were there for me Brian and I was a horrible person to you.”

“Mom.” Brian said trying to make her stop.

“Let me finish, I was a horrible person.   The things that I turned away from while your father…I partially wonder if all those times that I let him hit you is that why you ended up like this.   I’m not saying that you are different because you aren’t.    Not where it matters, I think that now you’re just turning into that sweet little boy that I knew.   I’m here for you Brian, if it gets too much, or if you need someone to scream at you can use me I know that Debbie is your mom, but I’m still your mother.” Then she wiped his mouth and waited for that to sink in.

“Don’t fall for it you idiot!” Brian thought.   She can’t be trusted.   She’ll just pull you in and then when you think that she loves you, she’ll run away.   She can’t handle you, she doesn’t appreciate you.   You  took her in, when her own daughter wouldn’t and what did you get in the end?   Nothing.   Now she’s even got Izzy on her side don’t do it.” Brian told himself.

“I’m so scared.” He said and he let his mom take her in his arms.   He cried.   He knew that he was being the biggest fag around but so what.   He had brain damage and the person that he thought would love him forever is already turning against him or something like that.   He has no one.   He has her and she wants to be there for him.   So be it.   For now she was supplying what he needed..

All he needed was this cigarette and then everything would be okay.   Brian didn’t like him smoking and he could understand that coming from a guy who had cancer but he needed this to calm his nerves and then be able to take the rest of the day.    He looked at his watch and it was after five.   Why were they still there.   That had seen Brian and he was…… “Oh shit!” Justin said to himself and he ran around the front of the house to where he left the car.   It was empty of course.   He took a sigh of relief when he saw that Brian was out.

“So what are your plans?” Emmett asked Brian as he took a seat across from him on the sofa.

“Plans?” Brian asked confused.

“Well yea sweetie, they did say that you could go back to work right.   I mean I thought it was just a memory thing.  I knew they said that you probably wouldn’t remember some things that happened a few months right before it which is good because we had a superhero night at Babylon honey and well let’s just say that a certain someone wanted you and him to Cosplay his creation and spandex is not your friend.   So what are your plans are you going back to work?”

“They won’t want me there.”

“Honey it’s not about what they want that’s your pride and joy, you put on your best suit and Monday morning you walk In there and you show them who exactly Brian Fucking Kenny is.”

“You’re right, I’ve been feeling down and crying and I need to remember that.   I need to take back what I want.    Thanks Em, I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

Emmett watched his friend bounce up the stairs with some pep in his step.   He had seen the exchange between Brian and his mother and how folks didn’t seem to know what to say to him.   He found it heartbreaking, this was supposed to be his welcome home party and the whole time he spent with his daughter and his mother.   They had to stop this and they had to stop it now.   Brian would never recover if people focused on what he couldn’t do instead what he still could.

Justin walked into their bedroom once again wishing that they would just leave.   He had to put Brian to bed, he was he was tired by now.   He needed to rest didn’t they realize that.   He turned around and was startled when Brian was there.

“Hi.   I didn’t know you were up here.   I’ve been trying to get them to leave Brian I know you need your rest.”

“I don’t need rest I’m not tired, and yea I finally made it up here after you left me in the car with the safety locks on!” Brian said angrily.

“Oh Brian I’m so sorry, are you alright.” Justin asked as he came and sat beside him taking his hand checking his pulse.

“That’s what I’m talking about right there, I’m not an invalid.   They said I could come home but I don’t think you want me here at all.”

“That’s not true, of course I won’t you to come home.   It’s been crazy without you here I’m so glad you’re home.” Justin said and he gently kissed him on the cheek.

Brian took this as a chance to take back what he missed the most.   He kissed Justin deeply on the mouth.   He wanted to savor it take a few moments just to feel the inside of his mouth, it felt like ages since they kissed like this.   He loved how Justin just turned to mush and melted for him.    He slid his hand under his shirt and was relieved to find him aroused.   He undid his zipper and couldn’t help the smile when he was practically coming by his touch.

“Justin.” He moaned as he lowered his lover to the bed.   He climbed on top of him and undid his fly.   He had miss this so, he wanted to be buried deep inside his lover this was going to be so….

“What did you say?” Brian asked confused.

“I said don’t.” Justin replied.

“What?   Why are you telling me to stop, I can tell that you want this, the body doesn’t lie.” Brian said unbelieving what was going on.

“You’ve only just gotten home, it’s been a long day.   Let’s get you to bed and then we can have this time for us tomorrow.”

“Really?   So you are going to pencil me in for a fuck then?” Brian stated getting upset.

“Don’t get upset, you know what the therapist said.” Justin stated backing towards the door.

“What the fuck is the matter with you?   Why did you even bring me home, it’s so clear to me that you don’t want me here?   You should have just left me in that place.   I’m not like that, I’m fine.   Why don’t you love me anymore?” Brian was upset but he wouldn’t cry damn it.   Brian Fucking Kinney didn’t cry he fucking got what he wanted.

He walked toward Justin on a mission.  He was going to show him who he was.   They had done lots of things in the bedroom and he knew that his partner liked it rough.   He walked toward Justin and grabbed him forcefully and threw him on the bed.   He couldn’t really tell what look that was on Justin’s face if it was shock, or fear, or excitement.   He didn’t care.   It was time that Justin realized that he was still the same man.  He kissed Justin, pulling and his hair and the man gasped in his mouth.   He knew it, Justin loved him Justin still wanted this.   When he stopped for a breath to look at his lover to make sure he hadn’t crossed the line he was happy to find his lover smiling back at him.

“I love you so much.” Justin said.

“I know.” He said with a smirk and begin to kiss him.   Justin let him remove his pants this time and stood up to turn back the bed.

“Come on lets go to bed.” Justin invited him.

“What about the guests?” Brian asked.

“When they hear what we’re doing they’ll get the hint and go home.” Justin stated.

Brian was ashamed of what he was about to say but he hoped his lover would understand.

“I need to go to the bathroom first.” He stated looking embarrassed.

“Oh that’s fine go right ahead I’ll just get under the covers.

“Okay.” Brian stated cheerfully and went to the bathroom.   Justin was glad that he closed the door.   He quickly went to the things that they had brought home and he found the vial he was looking for.   He got out a syringe and filled it with the prescribed amount.   He was sorry for doing this really he was, but it had been a long day and he really was not up to making love with Brian right now.   He needed his rest to get better.   He quickly climbed into bed, and put the syringe in his left hand where Brian wouldn’t see.

“Sorry.” He stated as he climbed into bed.

“Now where were we?”

“Right here.” Justin stated and he leaned into his lover and gave him a long kiss.   He really missed this, tasting the taste of Brian’s mouth wash on his tongue.   “I’m so sorry.” Then he plunged the needle into his shoulder.

“For what?” Brian asked surprised and then the look utter betrayal came over his face and it hurt Justin.   He didn’t know what to make of it.

“Why?” was all he managed as his head fell upon Justin chest, he was out cold.

“Welcome home sweetheart, I really have missed you.” He stated and he pulled him up in the bed and covered him.   He would sleep for a good eight hours, and he wouldn’t be alone.   He fixed his clothes and decided it was time to get rid of his guests, and then he’d return to Brian.

 

 

 

 

  


  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	8. Recovery by Galesgal

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


Brian Fucking Kinney by Galesgal

  


  


  
Author's Notes:   


  


It's my birthday.   I bring a new chapter.   I went through this one kind of fast and wanted to post.   I hope you like it.

  


  


Brian Fucking Kinney

  


 

  


It had been a week since Brian’s Welcome Home Party, to say that things are tense would be an understatement.   He doesn’t eat anything I give him.   First he offers some to Izzy, and she’s only four and he knows that I wouldn’t let her have anything that has his medication in it so if I don’t stop him he’ll eat it as well.   I can’t really blame him, I used something that was prescribed only if he is out of control and I used it on him when all he wanted to do was love me.   I’m a horrible person.   You don’t think I know this.  I know it, but if I would have done it, I would be even more.

  


“So how is it going?” My mother asks as she and I sit in our backyard as Izzy and Brian play with a kite.

  


“They are good, how are you?” I ask unable to hide the amazement from my features.   My mom is nearly fifty and she’s having a baby.   It’s dangerous in her age and well it’s something she and Tucker never expected.

  


“Oh we’re doing fantastic sweetheart, any day now.   I was asking about him though, what does he do every day?”

  


“Nothing really, he does a lot of writing.   I ask him what it is he is writing but he doesn’t tell me.   He doesn’t sleep in our bedroom anymore.   I don’t care it’s probably for the best.”

  


Jennifer frowns at this, there’s something odd.

  


“Honey I’m sorry.   I thought he’d be more like you were, I mean you had a problem with touch but he helped you with that, is it harder for you to return the favor?” she asked concerned and confused as well.

  


“Oh no mom that’s the problem.   Every day he’s trying to jump me, I swear I can’t get him to back off.  He wants to have sex.” He stated as if it’s the sickest thing in the world.

  


“Darling correct if I’m missing something, but don’t you want to have sex with him, I have no clue on how your relationship was before this happened but I did think you were having sex.

  


“Mom, I can’t have sex with him now!” he shouted.

  


Jennifer took a moment to look at Brian.    Izzy had decided she no longer wanted to play with the kite and now he was pushing her on the swing, the higher she got the more she laughed and he laughed too.   It was good seeing him like that, she liked when Brian let his barriers down and since the accident he had let a lot of stuff he was almost like a child.

  


“Oh dear.” She stated when it clicked in her head.

  


“Honey that’s not the case in this situation, you can have sex with him.”

  


“What?” Justin stated not ready to accept that his mother knew him that well and was figuring it out.

  


“You heard me, I know that they said that he had lost some of his mental capabilities but honey he doesn’t have the mind of a child and if you were to have sex with him and he wants to have sex it wouldn’t be some form of molestation or rape.   You love him.   He loves you, can you imagine what he must be feeling if you want touch him back?”

  


“It’s wrong; it’s still happening you know.   He woke up next to me the other night and for three hours he didn’t even know who I was mom.   It scared me to death.   I wanted to hug him and hold him but he told me I’d taken his sunshine away.   Once he came back to his senses, I fed him, and I put him to bed.   When I was sure he was asleep I went in the bathroom and cried for an hour, and the next morning he hadn’t the slightest idea that he had slipped away.”

  


“What does the doctor say about this?” she asked concerned as she took another look at the man who was now again just sitting in the sand with his daughter while she went on and on about something.

  


“You know same old bullshit.   The brain is complex and everyone is different.   They still don’t know why I have the problems with my hand mom so how the hell can they tell me if he’s going to stay like this forever or not.   At this rate I’m to the conclusion that one morning he could wake up and it’s like it never happened, or he wakes up and has no idea who I am.  Then there’s Gus.”

  


“What about Gus?” she asked concerned for the boy she now took as her grandson.

  


“He doesn’t like his father very much.   I mean they were finally close after everything with Lindz and now he can barely look at him.   Sometimes at night I can hear him cry, and then I can find his father just standing outside of his room wanting to go in but not knowing if he’s invited.   They are still so much alike, both of them wanting to comfort the other and both afraid.   It would be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen if it wasn’t so heartbreaking.”

  


“It’ll work out sweetheart.”

  


“I hope so.”

  


The plan was back on.   He didn’t want him anymore, and he was tired of being a defect, so he was going to kill himself.   This time he wouldn’t get distracted by Izzy and some damn story, or JR coming over talking about how she was getting on her mother’s nerves this week, and definitely not by the neighbor’s new red car.   He was fascinated by it for a whole hour last week.   What the fuck?   This was not him.   He hated the reflection that looked back at him every morning.   He wanted to be that reflection.   Instead he was this asshole that he hated.   God he hated this guy, who the fuck was this guy?

  


“Daddy!” Izzy shouted breaking Brian from his thoughts of suicide.

  


“What are you thinking?” she asked.

  


“Nothing, you ready to go in?” he asked wanting to get away from Justin and his mother.  He wasn’t stupid.   They were up there talking about him in the big chairs while he was down here on, what was this a play date.   If he was still normal he’d be up there and Izzy would be swinging and he watched from the seat while Justin sat in his lap and he and his mother joke about how they were only four years in their age difference.   Nope none of that, he was down here with the kiddies and the mommies were up there.  

  


“Bitch!” he shouted.

  


“Oh daddy you said a bad word, you’ve got to put a quarter in the swear jar.” Izzy scolded.

  


“I’m an adult sometimes I swear it’s no big deal.”

  


“No daddy you said that if you swear you have to put a quarter in the swear jar.” She said getting angrier.”

  


“No Isabella I’m your father you will not talk to me like that.”

  


“You’re not the daddy anymore silly, you’re like me.   You’re a big baby, daddy has to take you the bathroom.” Izzy said and she couldn’t help but laugh when she said that.

  


“You take that back right now!” he screamed as he hopped to his feet.”

  


“No you’re just a big old baby, and you said a bad word and now you better put a quarter in the fucking jar right now mister!” she shrieked and covered her mouth realizing what she said.

  


“You are so gonna get it now, go to your room right now.”

  


“You can’t tell me what to do, yesterday you couldn’t even remember you were the daddy.   You’re nothing!   Tell him Justin, tell him he ain’t the daddy!”

  


Isabella knew the moment she saw her father’s lip tremble that she had said the wrong thing.  

  


“Daddy I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

  


“He told you that?” Brian asked unable to believe his ears.

  


“Yes he said that you and I could play but I needed help with something like the pancakes or something to tell him but not you.   He was taking over your daddy job, but I like you like this.   You have more time to play now not just the weekends but everyday.   Don’t be mad.”

  


“I’m not.   I’m just you stay here with your daddy and grandma I’m going to go and lie down.”

  


“Daddy I’m sorry.   I didn’t mean it.” She stated begging he believe her.

  


“I know Peanut, I’ll be back later.” He walked away he knew what had to happen for things to at least begin to get back to normal.

  


When Izzy saw her daddy leave before he cried he knew that he had to tell Justin. So she ran up to the deck to tell him what she’d done and that she was so sorry that she made her daddy cry.   He hoped he let her make it better.

  


Christina read the letter again for the third time and couldn’t help but beam at her boyfriend.  She knew that he was very smart and that he was capable of so much but this was great.   He was going to be allowed to skip a grade and he was being inducted into the Honor’s Society.   He was going to be the key speaker this year.   It was very excited.

  


“Wow, have you told your folks?” she asked.

  


“I told mom, she’s been at the house now you know helping out with Izzy and I emailed Melanie I’m sure she’ll read it next month sometime and find a way to blame my father for her missing the ceremony.   Oh she can’t blame him now, he probably doesn’t know what the day is.” He said bitterly.

  


She didn’t like the way that Gus was treated his father.   Well that was an understatement he wasn’t treating him like anything and it hurt.   How were they ever going to be able to get through this kind of thing now if he was being so closed off.    She liked his dad a lot, of course she didn’t know him before the accident but he is so kind and caring now she can only imagine that is how he has always been.

  


“Have you even talked to him at all Gus?”

  


“Maybe, what’s the use, like everyone knows he can’t be trusted.   Justin took his driver’s license and he’s not going to work now.   I caught Justin lying out his close.   Do you know that he makes lists now?   Lists, I saw one the other day.   It was like wake up, get dressed, remember to take bath, do your socks match?   It’s pathetic, and Justin is right there holding his hand and just pitying the fuck out of him.   It all makes me sick!”

  


“How do you know it’s pity, I was talking to your mother, and she says that when Justin was in high school something happened to him that messed him up in the head and your dad took him in?   They say that he would have moments of rage and he tried to close everyone out.   Well accept your dad, they say that nothing could break their bond.” She couldn’t help it she couldn’t say something like that without smiling.

  


“Oh please, I don’t know what soap opera you think their love is but it took forever for my dads to get where they are.   I know it took a lot of fucking around on each other and cheating.   Hell Justin had to literally be blown to smithereens for my dad to tell him he loved him.   My mom had to burn down a house and the other one had to drop me off on his doorstep for him to tell me he loved him.   He’s an asshole I don’t know what’s taking me so long to figure this out.

  


“What the hell is the matter with you? She asked giving him a shake.   Now I’ve tried and I’ve tried to understand what’s going on in your head but I’m at lost.   Before this happened and you wanted me to meet you two were close as two peas in a pod, and that train.   The train is a key point to how close you are, and ever since he came back and he needed more help you’ve been cold, hell you’ve been cruel.   Why the fuck are you acting like this when he needs you the most?” she asked.   She knew that she was being cruel but she need answers.

  


He begin to pace back and forth in front of her.   She knew it was coming, he was going to crack.   He had cracked before but she really needed her to let him in.   She was standing right there and he needed to know that she loved him that together they could get through anything.   Hell she had told him this, time and time again but she didn’t know if she believed him.   Hell he was scared to tell her father he was straight, but now it was like he didn’t even have a father.   She wanted to know what the problem was.

  


“Your father needs you.  He misses you.   Gus I would kill if I could have my mom or dad and you, you’re throwing it all away.    What the fuck is your problem?”

  


“He left me okay!   When mom left and when Melanie threw me away he told me that none of that mattered because he was never going anywhere.   That if I would always have him and Justin because they loved me.   He told me he’d always be there for me, but he’s not.   He’s gone.    I wake up every morning and I look at him and for a while he’s there, he’s right there, my dad.   The guy I have breakfast with every Saturday morning, the guy who takes me to Kinnetik and is so proud of me, he taught me to drive.   He’s right there smiling at me and everything’s fine but then a car backfires and he’s huddled in a corner because the loud noise scared him.   Then he’s on the couch watching cartoon with Izzy and they both are covered in paint because they’ve been painting all day and she’s happy because she and her dad have painted pictures all day, and he’s realizing how more pathetic he’s becoming.   I can’t keep going back to that place and seeing that.”

  


“You have too.   He’s there, you just said it yourself.   You have to take the good with the bad, I know it’s hard but it’s barely been two months.   The doctor’s don’t know shit, they said that Justin would never draw again and he has sold all those beautiful paintings.   Your dad needs you, and he’s proud of you.   I want you to take this letter and go find your dad and share it with him.”

  


“He won’t understand.” Gus tried to get her to understand but she didn’t.   He didn’t want to take this letter home and have his father look at it and smile because he knows he should but not because he knows why.

  


“Go he just might surprise you.”

  


“Okay.   I’ll do it.

  


Justin could hear the talking coming from the bedroom before he entered.   He didn’t know what to expect, he had left his daughter outside with his mother while he dealt with Brian.   He didn’t know what state Brian would be in when he went inside.   He took the syringe from his pocket, and put in the dosage he just needed to sleep that’s all he needed and everything would be okay.   The trick would be getting him the shot without him noticing.   He looked in his other pocket and found a spinning top.   That was he and Izzy’s new thing.   He was shocked how earlier in the week Brian had got distracted by a spinning top that he totally forgot that he was ironing and burned his hand.   It didn’t hurt him much but the whole short attention span thing was another one of Brian’s new habits that was taking its toll.  He heard one more drawer slam and he knew it was time to go in.

  


He was shocked by what he saw when he went in the bedroom, Brian was deep in the closet putting clothes into two suitcases.   He was deeply confused.

  


“Brian, Izzy wants to come up and tell you that she’s sorry.   She misunderstood what I was telling her.”

  


“Oh really and what exactly were you telling her Justin.”

  


“I just told her that if you know she wanted something to eat, that had to do with real cooking like turning on the stove or something that she could ask me before she went to you.”

  


“So you told my daughter that her dad was a dumb as a post know that he couldn’t cook her a fucking pancake!   Thanks a lot Justin.”

  


The sting of Brian use of the word “my” was not lost on Justin.   He hated when they would argue and Brian would use that, he knew that he was scared that Isabella was in fact his daughter and that he was once again only another father to one of his children.

  


“Brian you’re doing so good with your therapy but you know the doctor said that you should….

  


“The doctor said you can’t drive, and the doctors said ask for help, and the doctor said do you know what soap is, the doctor can kiss my ass!” Brian said even angrier as he shoved more clothes into a duffle bag.

  


“You just need to calm down yea, calm down and we can have a nice lie down and talk about this later.”  Justin stated calmly as he approached Brian.

  


“Oh no you, stay the fuck right there.   I don’t need to calm down.   I’m not having some kind of emotion outburst or whatever the fuck.   I can see clearly, I’m on my pill and I see clearer than I have in days.   You won’ be drugging me.  You want be doing anything to me, so you can just stab yourself with that fucking tranquilizer.” He stated clearly upset.  He stopped to look at what he was doing.   What the fuck was he doing? He thought to himself.

  


“What the fuck was I doing?” Brian asked.

  


Justin came up closer to him.   He didn’t have the heart to tell him that he guessed that he was planning to leave but all the clothes he packed was his and he hadn’t packed anything of his on.

  


“It’s alright sweetheart.   Just come downstairs with me, will go and get Izzy and the two of you can watch TV while I make lunch.” He said soothingly.   He would get him downstairs on the couch and he’d give him a sleeping pill with lunch.   He just needed him to calm down before things really got out of hand.

  


Brian reached for Justin but then something triggered in his mind and he pulled away.

  


“You God Damn son of a bitch!    You were trying to placate me; I know what I’m doing”

  


“No sweetheart, I think that maybe you got angry outside and was coming up here to pack and leave me but I think you got mixed up.” Justin told him.   He hated correcting Brian but that’s what apart of his therapy help him recognize the problem and then they fix it together.

  


Brian started laughing, he looked down at the things scattered around the room and couldn’t stop laughing as he continued putting Justin’s things in a bag.

  


“What’s so funny?” Justin asked alarmed.   This kind of episode of Brian was new, he might have to call the Calvary in and get himself some real help.

  


“I know what I was doing.   I was coming to pack your shit and tell you to get the fuck out!”

  


“What?” Justin asked really confused this time.

  


“Brian doesn’t need anyone to pity him and that’s what you’re doing you are pitying me.   They are no locks on the door and I will tell everyone that I was find in you leaving so take your shit and get the fuck out!  He shouted this time shoving Justin from the room.

  


“You can’t be serious, I’m not that child anymore Brian.   I am your equal and you can not and will not get rid of me this easily.”

  


“Why not, I’m not who you want anymore.  He’s on the highway somewhere this is who I am.   You can’t even bare to look at me so why don’t you go and find you some fiddler or gang member or whatever is yur flavor of the month is right now and get the fuck away from me.” Brian shouted right in his face causing him to back away.

  


“You scared Justin?   You scared of poor brain damaged Brian?   You hate that you have to ask me if I went to the bathroom, or did take a bath well how do you think it makes me feel having to remember if I did those things.   I have to check it off of a fucking list.   You told my daughter I’m not her daddy anymore.   I’m her father you are not, I mean come on look in the mirror.”

  


“You don’t have to be so cruel.”

  


“You have to see what’s in front of you!” Brian shouted getting fed up.

  


“What?”

  


“Me.   I’m standing right here!   Would you have rather I died.   I know that sometimes I can be different and I’m sorry and I want to be here for you but you have got to realize that this is not about you.   If you can’t handle the way that I am now then you can get out.   I’m not asking you to be my buddy, I don’t want a roommate I want a lover!”

  


“Fine.   I don’t need this Brian.   Remember this, once I’m gone I’m gone.”

  


“Bye.” He shouted pushing Justin from their bedroom and slamming the door in his face.

  


Justin couldn’t believe it.   He didn’t really understand.   That conversation was all over the place, who the fuck did he think he was.   Throwing him out like that, telling him that Izzy was his.   He needed to realize that he was not a kid anymore.    He was halfway down the stairs to his mother and Izzy and then it hit him.

  


“Oh my god.” He shouted and then he headed back upstairs.

  


“Who the hell did Justin think he was?” Brian asked his reflection in the mirror.    “Did he think that I was going to let him stand there and do that to me?  To us?    You’re just sitting there taking it like a baby.   I’m in charge you hear me?” he shouted to the reflection once more.   “You can’t win, I’m back for good.” He shouted to the impish looking reflection in the mirror.

  


He walked back to the bedroom and turned on the light in the closet.  He reached deep in the back and found the bottle of JB he kept stashed there for occasions like this.   He hadn’t had a drink since he came back from the hospital.   He never wanted one, but things changed.   Justin trying to turn Izzy against him was what he needed to come back.   The fog was lifted, the drugs were working, he wasn’t damaged  he was Brian Fucking Kinney and he was getting his life back.   He heard the door creak open and Justin walked in.

  


“What the fuck do you want?” he asked him.

  


“This.”  Justin stalked towards Brian, he was a man on a mission.  He was halfway running away and then it dawned on him.   It was Brian, not the scared little man he had brought back from the hospital but Brian and he was throwing him away….again.    He walked up close to him and kissed him passionately.

  


“What do you think you’re doing?” Brian asked.

  


“I think I’m  about to get fucked by the Stud of Liberty Avenue.”

  


“Oh really?”

  


“Yea.”

  


Brian kissed him even harder than the kiss that he had just given him.   He was buried deep inside of him before they even hit the floor.   Oh yes, he was Brian Fucking Kinney and he was back.

  


 

  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	9. Recovery by Galesgal

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


The calm by Galesgal

  


  


  
Author's Notes:   


  


Here's a little something i did in a few minutes. It's short and you might get something else tonight if not in a few days.

  


  


The Calm        

  


Gus Peterson stood outside the door to the kitchen just taking in the voices.   He could hear his dad and Izzy laughing like two little children.   He took a deep breath and walked in to face it.   He could do this.  He promised Chris he would do it.

  


“What are you two doing?” Gus asked when he walked in the kitchen and found them sitting at the counter with sundaes in front of them but their spoons were on their noses.

  


“I made daddy sad earlier.   I told him that he wasn’t the real daddy anymore.   He went to bed and then he asked if I wanted ice cream.”

  


“You told him what?” Gus shouted.

  


“Gus, do not yell at your sister.”

  


Gus stopped immediately, and sort of looked at his dad.   Something was different about him.

  


“Izzy go upstairs check on your gram, I need to talk to your brother.” He said sternly.

  


“Okay.” She got her ice cream and left the kitchen.

  


Gus knew it was now or never.   He was about to hand his dad his congratulatory letter but his phone started ringing that damn hamster song which is annoying but is Chris’ ringtone and she should know that he hadn’t done it that fast not yet.   She would have to wait so he sent the phone to voicemail.

  


Brian knew that Gus obviously had something he wanted to share but the hamster song thingy was so catchy and two days ago when he asked Gus had showed him this thing where you had to kill the little hamsters on his phone and he so wanted to see that.  He wanted to kill the hamster, he had gotten the highest score and….

  


“Dad!” Gus shouted getting his father’s attention.

  


“Sorry you were saying?” Brian asked.

  


I got a letter today that I think you should take a look at.” Gus said nervously.

  


“What kind of letter?” Brian asked.

  


“Here have a look?” Gus stated as he handed his father the letter. 

  


He sat there nervous as he watched his father read the letter.  He didn’t really understand what he was looking at.   Brian’s face was a total blank with no kind of emotion what so ever.   He didn’t know if he even knew what he was talking about.  He passed him the letter and went upstairs.

  


Gus was stunned he knew that there was a chance that his father wouldn’t understand it but what just happened was totally over his head.  He wanted to cry, was he really gone for good.   He thought of the train expo and what he and his dad had planned for the show this year and when he thought about that not happening well he couldn’t help the anger that built up inside of him.

  


“It’s not fair!” he shouted as he threw the salt shaker across the room.

  


“Hey, would you stop you’re going to wake up your sister!” Brian scowled when he came downstairs.  “Now what’s the matter?”

  


Gus didn’t have the heart to tell his father was the matter but then he noticed that his father was holding a box.

  


“What’s that?” he asked.

  


“What?” Brian asked confused.  

  


“What’s that you’re holding there?” he asked.

  


“Oh!” Brian shouted remembering what he was doing.   “Come over here I wanna show you something.

  


Brian handed Gus a worn out piece of paper.   He was surprised to find out that it was pretty much exactly like the one that he had been afraid to show his father.

  


“When I first came to the Pitts I had this letter given to me, but I decided that I didn’t want to do this.  I had just met your Uncle Mikey and he needed me and well I couldn’t just leave him.   So that’s the decision that you have to make.  Do you want to leave your friends and move up ahead of them and join a class of kids that probably won’t like you and you’ll have something to prove, or stay back with the rest of your friends and graduate with honors.”

  


Gus couldn’t believe this.  He was talking to his dad, and it wasn’t about ice cream, or finger painting.  It was all about real stuff and he was happy.   He almost didn’t get the blank look on his dad face he was waiting for him to give him an answer.

  


“Well!” Brian asked.

  


“I don’t know, I think maybe I’d like to stay where I am.   That way Chris and I can graduate together.”

  


“Now you can’t base this answer on some girl you have to know yourself what you want to do.”

  


“No that’s what I want to do.   For myself, like you did you know stay with those that I know.”

  


“That’s my boy.   Now come on lets go upstairs and tell your mother so he can have himself a good cry.” Brian joked referring to Justin. 

  


“Okay.”

  


As Gus walked upstairs with his father, he couldn’t help but smile at the calmness that he felt.   Maybe things would be alright after all.

  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	10. Recovery by Galesgal

  
[Recovery](viewstory.php?sid=1594) by [Galesgal](viewuser.php?uid=219)  


  


  


  
Summary: 

This one will be long and will pull at the heartstrings.   There has been a terrible accident.   It will affect Brain and Justin and their relationship.   It takes place in what could be the future and i hope you guys like it.

I know that i'm adding yet another story but i'm currently updating my old ones so i hope you guys don't mind.

Due to recent decline of my story at first I said I would not put this up for future readers but I miss the readers I lost so i thought I would   THIS IS NOT A RAPE fic.    Somthing in the most recent chapter made it seem that way but if you read on you will see that it is not.   I treasure all my readers and value comments good or bad but for people to think wrong me I dont like.  I invite you back to my story i promise you will be glad you gave it another chance

  
Categories: [QAF-U.S.](browse.php?type=categories&id=99), [Brian/Justin](browse.php?type=categories&id=68), [Could be Canon](browse.php?type=categories&id=39), [Hurt/Comfort](browse.php?type=categories&id=37) Characters:  Brian, Chris Hobbs, Cynthia, Daphne, Debbie, Emmett, Gus, Jennifer Taylor, Jenny Rebecca, Justin, Lindsay, Melanie, Michael, Molly Taylor, Original Character(s), Other Canon Characters, Ted  
Challenges: None  
Series: Recovery  
Chapters:  30 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 90168 Read: 18061  
Published: January 20, 2011 Updated: April 14, 2011 

  


  


The Right Combination by Galesgal

  


  


  
Author's Notes:   


  


A longer chapter and it might be the last for about three or four days.  I am glad you are enjoying it.   This story is loosely based on the movie recovery starring David Tennant.  You really should check it out its a hardbreaker.   this is the first chapter that didn't happen in the movie well a lot hasn't happened in the movie but they'll be more.  God i'm rambling.  on with the story.

  


  


The Right Combination

  


 

  


Justin woke up the next morning very happy.   He hadn’t felt this at ease and relaxed since the accident.   Brian have proved to him last night that he was still there, he really didn’t know what it was that made him think that his lover could be gone.  He should have known that Brian was still in there.   He will take the advice from his mother, and then he looked around the room and noticed that it was empty.

  


Brian looked at himself in the mirror and frowned.   He could feel himself slipping, he was slipping away from existence and he didn’t want that to happen.   He was on point; all he had to do was get the right combination he thought, as he took a look at his prescribed pills.   These little magic pills were what made it happen yesterday.   He took more than he was supposed to have taken and it had given him his life back.   Damn it he wanted it back.

  


“What are you doing?” Justin asked when he opened the bathroom door to find Brian staring in the mirror naked.   He couldn’t help but smirk at the look of his partner early in the morning.  Then it dawned on him maybe Brian had forgotten something.  “You okay?” he asked again a bit nervous.

  


“Yes I was you know, getting ready and all.   See, I’ve marked everything on the list.   Only got to get dressed and take my meds.” Brian said with the best happy smile he could muster up when inside he was slipping away.    He could feel the frightened kid coming back.  He hated that kid, he hadn’t felt this way since his father would beat him and he was not going to feel it now.

  


“Okay, well hurry I’ll go start breakfast.” Then he exited the bathroom.

  


 

  


“So how are they really?” Deb asked Jennifer who had shown up on her doorstep that morning bright and early.

  


“It’s heartbreaking really Deb, but I think that something changed yesterday.   I could hear them in the bathroom last night I think they forgot how thin there walls are.”

  


“You mean they were having sex!” Debbie said making a face.

  


“Don’t do that Deb, Brian maybe a little sweeter, and a calmer but he is not a child.   Justin wasn’t even touching him back when he tried to have sex with him.   I know Brian, he’s all about the touch it must have been killing him to feel unwanted.   Justin said he thought it was rape if he acted on his urges and you know it’s not.”

  


“Oh I know, I’ve been meaning to get over there but I’ve been trying to get Carl to take it easy since his heart attack last year, but he is very upset after finding out a street sweeper was used in Brian’s accident.   The driver was drunk, Brian could sue the state if he wanted too, but that’s the furthest thing from his mind.   How is he really though Jennifer?   JR can’t stop talking about him but you can’t trust her.”

  


“He’s Brian.   I think it was taking Justin a long time to see, because he was used to having to tell people that they should see  the Brian that he sees, but now here was that guy all out and unexposed for you to love him.   He has nightmares though, I hear him at night screaming, and Justin holds him.   The other morning he was convinced that he was ten and that he needed to go home or his dad would really be mad.   He was scared of Jack and well I don’t know the story of his father but I was scared as well.   I can see that if it stays this way for much longer it might be hard for him to take.   I could see what Justin didn’t want me to come here but I’m here now and I’m going to help out.

  


“That’s right because they need you, and on to happier things.   Look at you; you have that pregnancy glow and everything.   I can’t wait to see it, and don’t you worry Aunt Debbie and Uncle Carl are already for duty.”

  


“Oh thanks Deb, I never thought this would be possible I mean Deb I’m fifty.   Women are having babies further and further into their lives nowadays but I never thought that I would be one of them.   Tucker was already to adopt and here I come peeing on a stick and it turns pink.   I thought I was about to start menopause Deb.   You should have seen my face when the doctor told me that I was going to have a baby.  I couldn’t believe it.”

  


“Me either, because of you I don’t let Carl near me without a rubber, can you imagine me with a baby.” Then she bursts into laughter dragging Jennifer along for a bout of hysterics.

  


 

  


Christina couldn’t get the smile off of her face all morning.   She was thrilled about him finally talking to his father, finally realizing that this was going to be something hard for his father to overcome but as long as he had him then he knew that he could do it.   Times like this she liked being the voice of reason in their relationship.   She was supposed to meet him for lunch but now she sat in her Uncle’s office because he wanted to talk to her about something important.

  


“Oh I’m glad that you here, have you been waiting long?” he asked as he entered his office.

  


“No I just got here, what is this about I have to meet Gus.”

  


“Yes, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, how’s Gus’ father?” he asked casually.

  


“He’s getting better; I think he’ll get a lot better now that he knows that Gus is going to be there for him.   Thanks for telling me that I should try and get Gus to go to him it worked.” She beamed.

  


“Yes, well you know that I love you right, and I’d do anything for you Christina, after your folks were killed I took you in and I took care of you and it’s been a rough two years but I think we’re finding our own rhythm don’t you think.”

  


“Well yea, I mean I sure as hell didn’t want to go live with Grandma and Grandpa, I don’t agree with their choices, and they sure as hell wouldn’t want me to be with Gus.”

  


“I know.   I use to be that way Chris, I really did but then my eyes were opened and it led me to take a step back and think about the things that I’ve done in my life, and I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of.”

  


“We’ve all done things that we’re not proud of it’s a part of growing up that’s what you’ve always told me.   That the mistakes we make as teenagers mold us to be better adults.” She answered not liking where this conversation was going.   “Is everything alright?” she asked almost afraid of what he might say.

  


“When I realized that you and Gus were getting be a lot closer than just you know a fling I did some digging.”

  


“You what!” she shrieked outraged.   “You have no right to do that; you just can’t go digging into people’s background.    Gus is a great person and he loves me.   I know you are not about to make something of how he was raised.  I know you’re not about to do that.”

  


“No of course not, I have no problem with Gus.   He’s a fine gentleman, but sweetheart, when you said that you thought that we all should get together and meet well I decided I’d do my digging then so I would have something to talk about and well I should’ve told you this a long time ago, but I’m so afraid that when Gus finds out he might break up with you.”

  


“Break up with me, why?” she asked seriously confused this time.

  


“You know I told you that when I was younger I did horrible things to people.  I mean that’s part of the reason that I told you that the mistakes you make in high school or growing up in general mold you to become the kind of person you want to be.   I was horrible in high school, and college, and well a long time let’s just leave at that.   I had to get the truth scared into me by someone you know.”

  


“You’re talking in circles, why don’t you just spit it out”

  


“I’m the one who did it Chris.” He whispered.

  


“Did what?” Chris asked.

  


“When I was in high school I picked up a baseball bat and smashed Justin Taylor’s head in.”

  


 

  


To say that Justin was moments away from physical murdering someone was an understatement.   The supermarket idea was bad.  He should have realized that, before the accident taking both Brian and Izzy in the supermarket together was disastrous and now with the way things were with him now it was far worst.   They bounced from aisle to aisle like children.   He had sent them on the simple task of cereal and that had been about twenty minutes ago, he was going to have to find them.

  


“This one.” Izzy asked as she held up a box of Cocoa Puffs.

  


“No, we have to get healthy, do you realized how much sugar are in those I’ll never get you to calm down.” Brian stated firmly.  He couldn’t help but smile at his answer he was on the mark this morning.

  


“But I want it.” Izzy shrieked.

  


“Oh no you don’t, don’t start that I’ll tell your father.”

  


“You’re my father, my bestest father in the hold world, and if you let me get these, I’ll forget that you didn’t put your quarter in the swear jar, and I’ll tell Justin I love you best.” She batted her eyelashes and tried to give him her best “I’m the cute” look.

  


“Not this time kiddo.” He stated taking her hand walking back towards where Justin was.   As he was walking he accidentally bumped into a fellow shopper.

  


“Watch it asshole.” He shrieked.

  


“Hey buddy what’s your problem?” the guy asked.

  


“I’m trying to walk here, and you’re not watching where you are going and nearly run me and my kid over.” Brian said all up in the guy’s face.

  


“What’s your problem, you freak.”

  


Brian was so angry by the statement that the man made that before he even could control his temper he had punched him in the face right when Justin came around the corner.

  


“What the hell are you doing?” Justin snapped.

  


The man stood up to retaliate but Justin got in between them.

  


“Listen sir, can I talk to you for a moment.” Justin asked and he pulled the man away from Brian’s earshot.

  


“Oh you’re going to get it now daddy, you hit that man.   You are so gonna get it.”

  


“Be quiet Izzy.” Brian shouted.

  


“Listen sir, I know that you are right.   I need to explain a few things.   My friend right there he was in a horrible accident recently he was run over by a street sweeper.” Justin stated hoping the man would understand.

  


“Dear God that was him?   We heard about that on the news, they said that his brains were all over the highway.   I remember thinking God I want to see that.   He doesn’t look like he has a scratch on him.”

  


“Yea that part he was lucky with, but his mind sir.  His mind is so scrambled that some days he doesn’t even know where he is.  Could we just let this slide, please?” Justin even gave his best puppy dog look and for once he had actually seen it working.

  


“Yea man I’ll let it go.   Sorry.” He said as he went toward Brian who was standing there with Izzy.

  


Brian was upset.   He knew that Justin probably told the guy something about his mental problems for him to let things go so easily.   That made him angry, but he didn’t say anything.   He knew that it was because of the drugs.   The side effects were coming out stronger because he couldn’t find the right combination.   If only he could get things straight so that he knew exactly what was going on, if he could just remember what he had changed about it before and everything would be okay.

  


 

  


“You’re lying!” Christina gasped.

  


“I was a different guy back then, I know now what I did was wrong, but back then I just hated Justin.  He was so proud of who he was.   He was gay and he had no problem shoving it down your throat.  He flaunted it, he came to school every day and there was no doubt in anyone’s mind what he was and he didn’t care.   That was just wrong; well that’s what I thought back then.   Then the prom came, we were seniors and the prom is supposed to be enjoyable and then that guy comes in with him and they dance and kiss right there on the dance floor.   No one even voted on the king and queen that night because all they did was talk about what he and his lover had done.   I followed them down to the parking lot and I did it I bashed him the head with a bat.   I tried to run but the guy who was there with him; hit me on the knee with the bat.”

  


“That guy…that guy, you do realize that was Gus’ dad right.   The same guy you hoped would be better after getting run over.   Why?   Forget the fact that Justin was gay that’s not really important.   How could you willingly pick up a bat to hurt someone?”

  


“I told you I was a different person back then, but then you told me that they wanted me to come over for dinner and I just knew that I had to tell you, because it would not be appropriate for me to show up there.”

  


“Oh so you’re just going to hide away like some coward.   You didn’t even go to jail did you?”

  


“I was young Christina.   My dad pulled some strings for me and I got community service at a Hospice for Aids patients.”

  


“Really, and I bet you were just nice as you could be there.” She said sarcastically.

  


“Now see here young lady.   I didn’t have to tell you a damn thing.  I could’ve just backed out at the last minute and that would have been that but I did the right thing and I told you what happened.”

  


“That’s because you knew that it was going to come out in the open, I mean I wonder why Gus’ never said anything to me.  He had to have known we have the same last name.”

  


“There are tons of Hobbs here in this town, and maybe Justin doesn’t want him to know about it, he had to be born then, and well I wouldn’t go around telling young people that I just thought you needed to know.   Besides he knew if he told then he would have to tell what he did to me after.”

  


“What did he do?” she asked alarmed.  She didn’t like the way he seemed to not be able to look directly at her.

  


“It’s not important what he did.   You can find out if he knows and if he still wants me there then I’ll come.   It might be better if I just call Justin and ask if he’d be comfortable with me there.”

  


“I wouldn’t.  He’s probably scared to death of you.” She stated. 

  


“He isn’t afraid of me at all, he proved that already.”

  


“What are you getting at?”

  


“I’m not going to tell you, they’ll just make it seem that I told you this to turn you against them.

  


“What did Brian do to you?” she asked.   Gus had told him what a temper his father could have when it came to his family.

  


“It wasn’t Brian.   I don’t think he even knows about this.”

  


“Know about what?”

  


“He came and held me at gunpoint.”

  


“What?”

  


 

  


Gus heard the door slam and then he saw his sister and father run up the steps giggling about something.   He saw Justin come in with an angry look on his face.

  


“What happened?” he asked.

  


“We had a little incident at supermarket.   I don’t know what’s going on but apparently your father’s temper is back, and it’s not cooperating well with the damage.”

  


“Really what happened?” Gus asked unable to suppress a laugh.   He wondered what upset Justin so, he knew how his father could be at the supermarket when he was healthy he could only imagine what he was like now.

  


“He hit a guy.” Justin stated as he began putting the groceries away.

  


“Is this like when he hit Bradley when he told him that his brand of Guava Juice was discontinued?”

  


“Yea like that but all this guy did was bump him when was walking up the aisle.   I’m not entirely sure; Brian might have hit him first.  Isabella said that he had already gotten angry about the cereal but I can’t go by anything that she’s says when they are arguing and she wants to win.   She’ll just make something up, and make it seem like he was totally mean.   I still haven’t gotten it through her head about him still being the dad.”

  


“So where are they off to now?” Gus asked as he looked up the stairs.

  


“Izzy said they had a big project to work on.   She had to look for something and only he could help.   I’ll go up after I put up the groceries.   So are they coming?” Justin asked referring to the dinner he had planned.

  


“Well she lives with her uncle and she was going to ask him.”

  


“That’s right; I forgot about that her parents died right?”

  


“Yea it was a horrible accident when she was five.  She was living with her grandparents in the beginning but two years ago she permanently moved in with her uncle.  She had pretty much lived with him but now she was there all the time.   She didn’t really like being around her grandparents much.  Her uncle is like her dad, but Chris is an okay guy.   I told him all about you.   He couldn’t believe I actually knew you he went to St. James.”

  


Justin knew that Gus was talking to him, but everything was a buzz once he said the name Chris.   It was then that he remembered little Christina Hobbs who had been coming to his house almost every day since the accident.   He remembered her jawline and how it reminded him of someone, and her eyes.   Only the eyes he remembered were identical to hers but angrier and then he made the connection.

  


“Has she called you back yet?” Justin asked.

  


“No she hasn’t called back yet.” Gus replied.

  


“Listen, she can’t bring him here Gus, I’m sorry not with your father the way he is now he can’t be here.”

  


“Why not?” Gus asked genuinely confused.

  


“He was the one who, he bashed me.   If he comes here and your father is easily angry because of a push, he’ll kill him if he sees him.”

  


“Oh God she never said.   She probably doesn’t know.  Someone’s at the door Gus, could you get that I’m going to see what your sister is gotten into.

  


 

  


Justin really didn’t know what to do.   He really needed to tell Brian the truth about Christina but how was he going to take it.   After what just happened at the supermarket he knew that Brian was upset.   He had been acting odd all day, and if he had to tell him this he would overreact.   He didn’t need that right now.  He needed to get someone’s opinion but he really didn’t have time for any of this.   Everything was going to shit fast.   All he needed were things to calm down at least for a little while.

  


He walked into Isabella’s room and he was confused at what he saw.   Brian was leaning back against her head board with his eyes closed almost as if he was about to fall asleep.   Izzy was on the back of the bed with her magnifying glass from her spy kit and she was combing through Brian’s hair.

  


“What are you guys doing?” Justin asked.

  


“I’m trying to figure out what went wrong daddy.    Brian says that he’s like this because of the bump he got on his head, but I can’t find the bump anywhere.    If I find it then when can take him to Aunt Daphne and she can fix him.    We need him fixed and fast, because things are going to get bad.” She said matter-of-factly.

  


“Who told you that?” Justin asked.

  


“Daddy did.   He said that he had to get it right, and then I told him I wanted to see if I could find the problem.   He got on the bed with me and I got out my spy kit but I can’t find it.   He took his medicine and then he said he was very sleepy.”

  


“What?” Justin asked alarmed.

  


“Yea, he said I could see if could find it, but I can’t and I don’t want him to be mad at me when he wakes up.”

  


“Oh he won’t sweetheart; he’ll understand that you can’t find it.   He’ll be just fine.

  


Justin looked at Brian and he had fallen asleep.   He still was so beautiful when he slept.

  


“Izzy why don’t you go downstairs and see who was at the door while I let daddy have a nap on your bed.”

  


“Okay.   Sleep tight daddy, I’m sorry I couldn’t find it.” She whispered in his ear and she jumped off the bed.

  


It broke Justin’s heart to think that his little girl thought that should find the problem with Brian with her spy kit.  It would be seriously cute if it wasn’t sad.   He also noticed how Brian just seemed to slump over when she left, he didn’t even bother to put his legs up on the bed when she left.

  


“Hey sleepyhead, come with me and I’ll help you to bed.” He said as he grabbed Brian to help him to his feet.  He immediately became alarmed when Brian’s eyes rolled back in his head and he mumbled something that he couldn’t understand.

  


“Brian, what’s the matter?   Tell me how do you feel.” He asked alarmed.

  


“I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the right combination.” He stated and an empty pill bottle fell to the floor as Brian passed out on the bed.

  


Justin picked up the bottle and realized it was Brian’s pills.  He had taken them all.   They were sixty pills in that bottle and he should have only taken twelve by now.

  


“Fuck!   Brian wake up.” He shouted as he jumped on the bed.   He put his head to Brian’s chest and he was breathing but his heart was beating extremely fast.

  


“Gus get up here now!” he screamed as he pulled out his phone to call 911.

  


  


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

  


  


This story archived at <http://www.midnightwhispers.ca/viewstory.php?sid=1594>  



	11. Chapter 11

Three Strikes

 

Justin sat in Dr. Hooks office and tried to think back to what had happened two days ago.   Apparently Brian was trying to find the right combination of meds to make him seem normal.  He hadn’t realized that the reason he seemed more like himself was because of the therapy.   If he follow the steps of keeping calm, and sticking to his lists and just took things slowly that he would seem normal because he was normal.  He knew partly Brian felt this way because of him.   He had made Brian think he was worthless by not interacting with him, but he didn’t touch him because well he thought folks would think it was wrong because how he was now.   How he was now?   That was the biggest problem; he needed to realize there was absolutely nothing wrong with Brian.   Well at least nothing that matter.

 

“So you realize how this happened?” Dr. Hooks asked breaking Justin from his thoughts.

 

“I shouldn’t have trusted him with the pills.   I gave him too much freedom.  I should’ve realized that it was too soon.”

 

“Well yes and no.   No you shouldn’t have trusted him with the pills, at least not the whole prescription.  You giving him the bottle with his dosage of the day would have been fine.   Then you could have told him that you had his pills for pain if he needed them.   That way he wouldn’t have access to them.   He would have been able to give himself the dosage of the day but he wouldn’t have enough to over dose on.   Give him his freedom though Justin.   That’s why we offer the classes here at the clinic.   So Brian can adapt to the way things are and become independent.   I’ve asked before and I’ll ask again, do you think you can handle this?

 

“Of course I can.  I love him.”

 

“I know you do, but maybe it will better if he came here to stay for a while.”

 

“I’m not fucking committing him.   You can scratch that from your thoughts, he’s not crazy.”

 

“Are you sure this was an accident Justin.  I’ve talk to more of the family and they’ve told me how Brian was before this accident.  His friend Michael told me that Brian would never want a life like this.”

 

“He didn’t try to kill himself.” Justin stated as he left Dr. Hooks’ office.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry okay.   I know that you are mad that I told Dad, but I had to and I really didn’t I told the moms and they told dad.” JR tried her best to explain to an unresponsive Brian.

 

“So you’re just going to lie there all morning and ignore me after I come this long way?   I skipped school to come and see you Uncle B.  You know what shit I’m going to get from mom when she finds out?   I did it for you’re on good.   You were trying to jump from your room when I found you the first day.   What you did now I have no idea, I didn’t think dad was going to tell anyone.   My god look at you.” She said as she pushed his hair from his forehead.

 

It was killing her to see him like this.   He was in a room with no one else and he was restrained to the bed.   They said that when he came out of it he was violent and he tried to hurt himself.   She didn’t think telling her dad that she thought he tried to kill himself would do this to him.   She was sorry for what she had done.

 

“So you’re not going to talk to me at all?   I can take the things off your wrists, the doctor said you don’t need them anymore.   Uncle B, I’m sorry!” she pleaded.   “Fine I’m walking out the door.” She stated as she put her hand on the doorknob.    “Once I’m gone I’m gone and I’m not coming back.” She warned.  “You have to stop me now.” She pleaded to be stopped. “Fine.” Then she left the room.

 

“Where are you going?” Justin asked when he saw JR outside of his room.  He thinks that I’m leaving, but I’m going downstairs to get him something to eat.   He hates hospital food you know that.” She said with her best smile.

 

“You’re so good with him.” Justin replied.

 

“I’m not good with him.   I don’t need to be good with him.   He’s Uncle B, the same as he always was, the guy who could make me smile no matter how I was feeling.   He’s just a little scared, and he thinks he’s slipping away.   I think it surprises him that I haven’t changed the way I am towards him since the accident, but he’s pissed because I told Dad about before when he tried to jump to his death.”

 

“He what?” Justin asked alarmed.

 

“Of course he’d tell the moms but not you, God my dad and his priorities.    When I came up and he hadn’t been discharged the first time.   He was outside of his room on the balcony, I think he was trying to get himself to jump off.   I got him to come in, and I told the moms that he was eyeing the doors.  I told dad, what he really tried to do.   Lindsay closed the doors when she got here, but I guess dad must have told that Hooks guy and now they have him tied to the bed.   You can take him off though, I’ll be back I need to track down a dry turkey sandwich.   Don’t tell him we talked, I want it to be a surprise when I return.   It’s going to be okay Uncle J.   You two belong together.   Later.” She walked away on the search for a turkey sandwich.

 

“We have to go in.” Chris stated as they sat outside the hospital.

 

“I know.  I just do you think that he tried to kill himself?” Gus asked as if she held the answers he seeked.

 

“Gus I don’t know I mean I don’t know what kind of person he was before this, and I don’t know what kind of person he is now.   Every time I’ve talked to him he has seemed to have a good head on his shoulder.   I think he just wanted to be Brian for you.   You told me that after I told you talk to him and you came back he was more like himself.   You said yourself that made you feel good, I guess he thought if he slipped away you wouldn’t love him anymore.

 

“That’s not true!”

 

“How is he to know that it’s not true?   You go on and on about how he was before this, and that you can’t take if he changes.   The man is alive god dammit.   Why can’t you just fucking be happy?” she screamed.   She was tired of all of this.   This relationship was getting to be too much.

 

“Gus, I love you.   I love you so much but I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

 

“Really, is that you talking are Chris Hobbs?” he spat in her face.

 

“We are not discussing that, because that doesn’t matter I didn’t know what he had done to your dad before I started going out with you.   They are the ones that want to make something like that matter but it doesn’t.  I could care less about what he did to or what Justin did to him.”

 

“Really?” he asked.

 

“You know that I didn’t mean it like that.   I know that what he did was wrong; he should have never done that to Justin no matter what.   Just like Justin shouldn’t have gone there with that gun and threatened him.”

 

“He had his reasons.   It was his payback.”

 

“Payback, it was years later, don’t you see what it’s doing Gus, it’s already pulling us apart and they don’t even know that we know, well you’re dad doesn’t know.”

 

“He never will.  Come on lets go.   It’s time I show my dad that it doesn’t matter.” They entered the hospital.

 

 

 

“Too many people.” Brian thought as he lied in his hospital bed.  He was so fucking sick of hospital rooms.  He was enjoying the fact that the conversations were going on without him.   It was as if he wasn’t even there or he didn’t matter.   Which he wasn’t sure of and at the moment he really didn’t care.   She was there though, she was sitting on the bed beside him.   He wanted to ask her to move but then they would want to know why.   Everyone was so happy that she was back.   Izzy had a mother, and Melanie was happy that her spouse was back.   She wasn’t though, he knew when Lindsay left she was a bit off but the person before him was someone he really couldn’t stand.   It had all started a few weeks back, when he was still getting used to being the nutcase that he was now.

 

 **_Flashback_ **

 

“ _Are you sure you don’t mind?” Justin asked Lindsay again as she sat on the corner of his bed._

 

 _“Of course not, I understand that you have to go this meeting, I’ve talked to Sydney since I was back, he’s been thinking about letting me come back.” She stated happily._

 

 _“That’s great.   Well I shouldn’t be gone very long, and you guys seemed to be getting along a lot better.   He had his medicine a few hours ago.   He was in a lot of pain this morning, I’m going to have to talk to his doctor the pain meds make him to groggy.” He stated trying to explain why Brian was just lying there in bed staring at nothing at all._

 

 _“It’s cool.   I’ll stay with him until he’s up to getting up and then we’ll find something to do.   Where’s Izzy?”_

 

 _“Isabella had a playdate, she won’t be back until about 2.  I didn’t know you would be coming or I would’ve kept her around.”_

 

 _“It’s fine Justin.   She’s just getting used to me but we’re getting there.”_

 

 _“Yea you are.   Okay well I better go.   I love you.” Justin stated and he leaned down and kissed Brian on the lips.   He was happy that he kissed him back.   “I’ll see you later, okay.” Justin reassured Brian._

 

 _“Later.” He replied back._

 

 _Lindsay watched Justin leave and turned back to Brian who had gone back to looking at nothing in particular on the wall._

 

 _“So how have you been Brian?” she asked._

 

 _“Fine, sorry about the whole fire thing.” He apologized._

 

 _“Oh no biggie, you and I have been through far more than that, it’s not like it will end our friendship Peter.” She stated falling back into calling him Peter as she often did._

 

 _“I’m glad to hear that Wendy.” He replied giving her his best smile._

 

 _“So how are things between you two since you been back here.” She asked as she climbed on the bed next to him._

 

 _“Fine, we haven’t done anything yet.” He replied sadly._

 

 _“Oh Brian I’m so sorry.” She stated lying her head on his chest and her arm around his waist hugging him.   She loved listening to his heartbeat, she didn’t know what she would have done if he died._

 

 _“I don’t know what I would have done if you died.” She sobbed into his chest.   She wasn’t surprised when he hugged her back._

 

 _“Don’t cry Wendy.   I’m always here for you, always have been and always will be.” He smiled when she looked up at him._

 

 _She didn’t know what came over her when she saw him looking at her like that.   So real and raw full of emotion, he needed someone to show him they cared.   She would show him, she kissed him right on the lips._

 

 _Brian didn’t know what to think at first.   He and Lindsay kissed on the lips all the time, some would say that they kissed a lot and with a lot of emotion but that was just the way they were.  He had dated her for two years before he told her she was a lesbian and she was the mother of his children.   There was something different about her though, and he really knew that she was doing something wrong when she felt her hand slid in his sweats and caress his cock._

 

 _“What are you doing?” he asked alarmed._

 

 _“I’m so sorry about everything Brian.   I’m sorry about Britin and most of all I’m sorry about Susan.  Let me do this for you.” She whispered as she begin to pump his member slowly but sensually with her hand._

 

 _Brian knew that he was gay, but Lindsay had always been one of the women who could do this for him.   They were only a few women that were able to get him aroused.   She was one of them.   It had been so long since he felt the touch of someone else, and he was tired of touching himself._

 

 _“I’m not going to fuck you.” He stated._

 

 _“I know just enjoy this.” She whispered.   She pulled his cock out and it twitched as the air hit it.   He didn’t want to do it._

 

 _“No.” he stated and he tried to push her away._

 

 _“Just go with it.   She squeezed his cock once more a bit roughly causing him to gasp.   She quickly felt into a rhythm and as much as he wanted her to stop, the feeling of cumming was making his sexual need take over the fact that it was wrong.   He felt his hips rising involuntarily as he was close to release.   His legs spread as she began to massage his balls with her other hand.   He couldn’t think, he had no control over anything now.   The pain medicine was still making things foggy and what she was doing was exciting him.   He closed his eyes and it was like Justin was touching him.   He came screaming Justin’s name, all over her hand.   Before he could even think straight he was brought from his feeling of pleasure by the slap to his face._

 

 _“Don’t you ever say his name after we’re together!” she screamed._

 

 _He didn’t know what to think.   She was crazy, was she still crazy._

 

 _“I’m sorry Brian she said as she wiped her hand on his pants leg and hugged.  “I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me.   I didn’t mean to hit you.   I’m sorry.” She stated as she hugged him.   He could feel himself relax and he started to drift off to sleep again but she leaned in close as if to whisper in his ear.   “Don’t tell anyone about this okay.   I can be our little secret.   Besides who would believe you anyway.” Then she closed her eyes to sleep awhile._

 

 **_End of flashback_ **

 

 ****

 

“Brian!” Melanie shouted.   She was beginning to be alarmed that he wasn’t responding.   He looked at her after she shouted.   “Are you okay, do I need to call someone?” she asked.

 

“No I’m fine.   Where did everyone go?” he asked noticing that now only person to remain in the room with her were Melanie and Lindsay.

 

“Michael and Brendon went off to have some lunch; I guess that’s what they’re calling it these days.” Melanie couldn’t help but smirk.   “Listen I’m going to grab something from the café.   Babe you stay here I’ll be right back.” She rubbed Lindsay on the shoulder and left the room.

 

They were once again alone and Brian didn’t know what was about to happen.

 

“Melanie and I are doing good now Brian.   I guess I have you to thank.” She stated from the side of his bed.

 

“How so?” he asked confused.

 

“Well she told me what a good friend you were to her while I was gone.   She also told me that you told her that I am better, and I am better Brian.   I’m here for you for however long you may need me.” she stated as she approached his bed.

 

“Thanks.  You’ve always been a good friend, he stated nervously.”

 

“I’m glad you’ve been keeping our secret.” She purred as she leant further whispering in his ear and giving his penis a little squeeze which caused him to squirm uncomfortably.

 

“Mom, dad, what are you doing?” Gus asked as he entered the room unable to tell exactly what was going on.

 

“Nothing sonnyboy, why don’t you come and sit awhile.” Brian managed to croak out once he saw that his son was there and he didn’t have to worry about being alone with her any longer.

 

 

 

“What?” Michael asked as he looked at his partner across the table.

 

“You shouldn’t have told Hooks about Brian and the suicide attempt.” He stated.

 

“I can’t believe you a doctor is saying that?” Michael stated in disbelief.

 

“He had the poor guy tied to a bed when he woke up after almost killing himself.

 

“Now I want you to rewind that sentence in your brain and realize what you said.

 

“He didn’t try to kill himself Michael.  He was just confused about the medicine.   I talked to him, to him it was all about getting the right combination to be normal.   When it comes to brain injuries like his a person is bound to get confused.   You and the others are making it very difficult for him to recover.  You have to help him with the therapy.   Let him see the good it is doing, and also Lindsay should stay far away from him.”

 

“Lindsay?  Why?” Michael asked confused.

 

“The woman is just off a break herself.   She might play on that, I’m sure she’s making him uneasy.   Before the accident he was upset with her, she burned down his house, killed a good friend.   If I were in Brian’s shoes I wouldn’t want her anywhere around me.”

 

“You don’t know them their Peter Pan and Wendy, Beevus and Butthead, Bert and Ernie, two peas in a fucked up pod is what Brian use to say.   I don’t think he make it without her.”

 

“I’m not too sure of that.” Brendon stated as he sipped his latte.   “He and Justin have decided to go on the three strikes format.

 

“Three strikes?” Michael asked confused.

 

“Brian wants to be put away and Justin thinks he doesn’t need it.   I for one don’t either, he just has to get to the point where he realizes that it will take a while for him to get back to being the asshole we all know and love.   If he realizes that then things will get better, but he’s stubborn we all know that.   So he says he’s giving himself three strikes to get it wrong.   It has to be big mistakes.   Then when they are done he goes away.”

 

“Justin is going with this?” Michael asked disgusted.

 

“They both are quite insane if you ask me.   Justin is just trying to prove to Brian that he loves him and Brian is having trouble believing in himself.   I just want you to be ready, because I am.”

 

“Ready for what?” Michael asked.

 

“The breakdown, because we it happens, this little accident that just occurred well it will be a walk in the park compared to that.    Aren’t you happy we didn’t move?” Brendon whispered as he got up to head back to work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Family Reunions

 

 

 

“Home sweet home.” Justin stated as he let Brian into their home once he was discharged from the hospital.  He hoped that this really was the last time.   He knew that Brian was going to have to go in everyday for the therapy but he didn’t want him to have to go back for overdoses or anything as scary as that.

 

“Yea.” Was only he said as he walked upstairs with Isabella walking behind him chatting about something, he didn’t know what or care?   He was happy for the noise though.

 

Gus couldn’t get it out of his mind.   Something was not right about what he had seen at the hospital.   His mom was leaning over his father in bed but her hand he couldn’t see her hand.   Scratch that, he could see her hand but if it was where he thought it was, it was bad it was really bad.   He needed to someone to bounce ideas off of.   He called her, he knew that she would come.

 

“Hey.” She said as she sat across from him in the park on their favorite bench.

 

“Hey.   Thanks for coming, I wasn’t sure you would you know after all that.”

 

“I love you Gus.  I’m tired of being your grief counselor, and I don’t care about the past of your dad and my uncle.   We are never to let that matter about us again.   I’m here for you, I really am.   We just have to remember that we’re kids and stop with all the glum.   Have you and your dads picked out your suits yet for the banquet.” She asked trying to brighten the mood.

 

“Not yet, Justin said that we’ll do it by the end of the week.   We’ve just gotta get into some kind of routine when it comes to dad.  I have to help him with his therapy, I have to remind him of things he needs to do if he forgets but subtly.   Katie, that’s one of the nurses at the hospital, said that I was degrading him.   I never thought of what it might be doing to his psyche.   All I kept thinking about was how it was affecting me.   Stupid, no wonder he can’t trust anyone.”

 

“What’s going on?” Chris asked knowing that she was missing something.

 

“I’m not sure, I’m trying to figure it out but I think I think someone’s hurting my dad.”

 

“What? Who?” she asked rising from her seat.

 

“I’m not sure yet, it could be nothing.   I have to ask a couple of more people and do some investigating of my own and then I’ll let you know if I need you to swoop in a save the day.”

 

‘Okay.   You just let me know though and I’m ready to swoop.   They can’t hurt him, he’s so, he’s you.   You know what I mean?  I want to protect him just like I’d protect you.” She said laying her head on his shoulder.

 

“Yea I get what you mean.  Come on lets go and have some real fun, and I don’t know shake all the sadness away.”

 

“Lead the way good sir.” She stated getting off the bench and taking his hand.

 

 

 

JR looked at herself in the mirror finally happy with the outfit that she had picked.   They had a whole week off of school finally, and she get out of that damn uniform and into normal clothes.   She had checked the air in her tires and she was on her way to Britin.   She knew that Brian was getting home and she wanted to see him, and apologize for everything again.   She hated when he was mad at her, and he was mad, well he what passed for his mad nowadays which was sort of more of a sad.  She hated what was happening to him.   Grown-ups could be really stupid sometime.

 

“Heading out?” Lindsay asked when she noticed her daughter primping in front of the mirror.

 

“Just thought I would go and see the munchkin for a bit and of course Uncle B.” she stated nonchalantly.

 

“The two of you got a lot closer while I was away.   You know if I didn’t know any better I would say that you had a little crush on him.   I talked to your mother, and she agrees.” Lindsay stated with a smile.

 

“Ewwww. I mean its Uncle B. besides his brains are scrambled eggs now.” She joked unable to stop from laughing.

 

“Don’t you ever say that!” Lindsay shouted getting in her face.

 

“Chill mom, it’s a joke.   You know that’s what he says all the time.   That no one makes a joke about it.   He said when he hit the ground he think he bounced.   No one jokes about it and he can’t stand it.   He tells me lots of things you know.” She stated eyeing her mother.

 

“Like what?” she asked trying her best to keep the tremble from her voice.

 

“I’m not telling.   That’s what he and I have you know trust.  He likes the fact that I go over there every other day and give him shit.   I’m the only one who treats him the same as before the accident.   You know he told me that Justin hasn’t even mentioned their anniversary since this happened.   He had forgot it was so close.  I had to remind him of all the plans he had been making.   Justin hadn’t even let him see his PDA.   He was shocked about all the effort he was really putting into this, I think he was going to take the plunge.   I didn’t share that of course.   It hurt him when it dawned on him that Justin was just letting all go to shit now that he’s Swiss cheese.   Well I gotta go mom.” She kissed her and skipped right out of the house.

 

Lindsay went to the window and watched her daughter ride away.   She would be to Brian’s in about twenty minutes.   Did she have anything to worry about?   Would Brian tell JR what she had done?   She knew it was wrong, God it was so wrong.   She knew she would never do it again.   She just wanted him to be close to her again, for him to look at her after everything with Susan like he used too.   He had even gone back to calling her Wendy, it was all built on lies, lies that she would no longer be able to hold on too.   She would tell what she’d done.   She only hoped they’d forgive her, especially Brian.

 

Justin walked into the bedroom, and Brian was changing his clothes.  He couldn’t help it Brian was a beautiful man.   He aged well, he was in his mid-40’s and he didn’t look at day older than the day he met him.   He just had to stop and look at him.   He didn’t have a scratch on him, you wouldn’t know that he could have nearly died.   Whenever he stopped to think about that he just couldn’t help but shiver.

 

“What are you staring at?” Brian asked uneasily.

 

“You, I want you to know that I’m sorry.   You mean so much to me.” He stated putting his arms around his neck and kissing him gently.

 

“You too”, he stated as he fumbled to button the fly of his pants.

 

“You know I checked, Izzy is sleeping, you must’ve worn her out with all that playing and Gus is off with Chris doing what kids do.   Maybe you and I can take a little time and do what married couples do.” He practically purred and forced Brian up against the wall and kissed him deeply.

 

Brian loved this.   It was Justin, and he was kissing him like he mattered.   He didn’t have to initiate contact.    Lindsay was wrong, he did love him and he was about to prove it right now.  He gasped when Justin took his cock out of the pants that he was just trying to button.

 

“You’re so beautiful.” Justin whispered as he took all of Brian in.   It had been so long, he loved his taste.  He loved everything about him.   He knew that Brian wanted this just as much as he did.   He reached inside to grab Brian, and he tensed.

 

“What’s the matter?” Justin asked confused.

 

“Just don’t okay.” He practically ran from their bedroom.

 

“What the fuck?” Justin said out loud and heading downstairs to find out what was the matter.

 

 

 

Brian knew that he was being a coward.   He knew that he should tell Justin what Lindsay had done.   He couldn’t though, people were still trying to figure him out, wonder if he was right in the head, and no one was concerned about her.  She had been uplifted from an asylum to be there for their daughter in her time of need.  He knew that she was confused.   He could forgive her for what she’d done.  He had too, but she had to realize that no meant no.  He was cut from his thoughts by the front door opening.   It was JR, and she wasn’t alone.

 

“Who called you?” Brian said angrily as he stared his visitor in the face.

 

“Who do you think?   I just can’t believe that you wouldn’t call me, we’re family.” He shouted.

 

“You were studying, this was not important.  I’m fine.   I know my name, I know everything so you can just skedaddle I don’t need you here.”

 

“Justin.” He spoke to Justin over Brian’s shoulder.

 

“It’s good that you here John, I think your uncle needs you right now.”

 

“Good to know, thanks for the call JR.”

 

“Get your coat.” John demanded.

 

“Where are we going?   I’m not allowed out after dark.” Brian stated sarcastically.

 

“That’s not true John, the two of you go on and catch up.  I have to talk to the little one.” Justin stated eyeing JR who couldn’t keep the smirk from her face.

 

 

 

“Feel better now.” Chris asked.

 

“I actually do, I mean we can get through this right, all of us together.”

 

“Yes we just have to be there for your dad, but not enough so that it gets to be too much.   We are letting the adults figure things out for once.   So do you want to come in?   My uncle is still at work?” she leaned in closer to capture her guy in a kiss.

 

“I better not.   Your uncle still likes me considering and don’t want him to catch me here, in a compromising position.” He stated tongue in cheek.

 

“What makes you think that would happen?” she asked.

 

“Well I’m all hormonal, and you can admit that we have been on an emotional rollercoaster when it comes to well emotions.  I won’t be able to control myself if I give in to lust.”

 

“Right, so when do you think you and I could….” She stopped speaking but gave a gesture with her hands.

 

“Let me just get my dad home, and at least a week without killing himself, and get through this banquet and then you and I will have our time.   You know what they say about those who wait?”

 

“They end up alone and virginal forever.” She laughed.

 

“Good things happen my dear, and I’m a Kinney so you know I’m the best.”

 

“Cocky are we?”

 

“Just confident I better go.”

 

 

 

John sat there taking in his uncle.   They had been through a lot after he had falsely accused him of molestation when he was younger.  He found out that as he got older he could count on his uncle for a lot more things.   He realized that his mother was just a liar and she had often came to Brian for money and he had given it to her without a second word and in the end all she had done was have him to believe that he was just a worthless fag.   Oddly as the years went by he had more in common with his uncle then he had ever dared to think.  They sat in the back of Babylon’s VIP room and he watched his uncle down shot after shot.

 

“Is that really helping you feel better?   I mean really, I brought you here to talk, not so you could go back to Justin drunk.”

 

“Don’t think because I’m brain damaged you can tell me what to do!” Brian shouted as he gestured for Thomas to give him another.

 

“Fine, so you were saying.” He leaned back in the comfortable seat and let Brian get what he needed off his chest.

 

“She did it.   She did it three times, I think she thought that I was so far gone that I would just stand for it.”

 

“You did stand for it.” John stated, but when he noticed the look his uncle gave him he knew to be quiet once more.   “I’m sorry please continue your story.

 

“Just another person that thinks that they can get one over on me cause I’m a little slow.”

 

“You don’t seem slow to me.”  John stated as he looked at where they were at that Brian seemed to be as normal as ever getting drunk in the back of Babylon.

 

“It’s the booze.   I’m always myself on the booze, and these babies.” Brian slurred shaking a bottle of pills in John’s face.

 

“Give me those.   They still trust you with these things, after what happened.” John said as he snatched the pills from Brian.

 

“Well not Michael.   Of course not Dr. Brendon, I’ve decided that I don’t like him.   What kind of name is Brendon in the first place?  It’s like Brandon but not, I wanted to name Gus Brendan but of course I couldn’t because I’m not his real father because I’m a whore and whore’s can’t…..

 

“Brian!” John shouted breaking Brian from his ramble.  “You really have to work on that, how’s therapy?” he asked sipping on his water.

 

“Oh you know.   They take me in a room and make go through the steps of bathing myself, and if I get them correct I get a nice pat on the head and maybe a cookie if smile.   Then if I forget my shampoo I have myself a good cry, and then I come home and finger paint with my new best friend Izzy.   She just loves me to pieces now that somehow she’s gotten smarter than me.” He stated sarcastically.

 

“What the hell is even going on here?” John asked.

 

“What?” Brian asked trying to figure out what his nephew could be talking about.   Everything seemed to be in order.

 

“This.   I got a call from JR and she was talking as if you were drooling from the side of your mouth.  I get here and you’re letting Lindsay feel you up, and got poor Justin going nuts, but then when we are alone together I can bare tell anything is around with you.   I mean there’s the babbling and how your hand keeps twitching but you seem okay.   I’ve read your file.”

 

“What for?” Brian asked alarmed.

 

“Why the hell do you think?   You have some nerve not calling me Uncle B.   I mean what happened to you is amazing.   You were run over by a street sweeper and when you were brought in the ER there’s wasn’t any sign of brain trauma.   It was eternal, ETERNAL!” he shouted excitedly.   “It’s like a field day for a young man in medicine like me.   I’ve transferred I’m now part of your team.

 

“See that’s what I’m talking about, I didn’t want her calling you because I knew you’d come I’m not your science project.”

 

“Did you try to kill yourself?” John asked gently changing the subject.

 

“No, of course not, not now that everything is good.   I was trying to find the right combination.   It’s good like this when I have the right combination, or so I thought.   I never thought that those dumb exercises and what they call therapy was actually making me better.”

 

“Well it is.   Now I’m here and things shall change.”

 

“Change how?”

 

“I’m not stupid.   Justin probably is walking around that house on pins and needles just trying not to set you off.  He’s probably babying so much you want to explode.   I know Gus, I was Gus for the longest time.  He’s angry.   You left him, he’s not even looking at you like you yourself anymore you’re some pod daddy.  I swear the kid has gone through enough, he really doesn’t need his mother and father with matching strait jackets.  I’m here to help out with your therapy but I’m not going to baby you.  I don’t coddle, coddle is for babies and the only baby is Isabella and I get the feeling that she’s not much of a baby anymore.   So the question is, are you ready to get back what’s yours?

 

“You know what I just realized?” Brian asked him with a serious look.

 

“What?” John asked concerned.

 

“I just remembered why I hate fucking family reunions.”

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

What’s to Come

 

Justin hated when John was in town.  It always ended up in one thing, Brian coming home hung over.  It was amazing really how John and Brian were so much alike.   They constantly said that they weren’t and when they hated each other John probably would have rather been mauled by wild dogs than to admit that he was like Brian.  He was though, well minus the whole gay thing.   John was not gay; he was a happy Bisexual male.  He decided why just be gay or hetero when he could do both.   The world was a happy world as long as they had a Kinney inside of them.   Those were his words.   Now Justin was making breakfast and a hung over Brian was walking into their kitchen.

 

“Good morning, and what time did we get in last night?” Justin asked as he fried bacon loudly on the stove.

 

“Oh you know, a little after 4, I can barely see and John was up this morning by seven to go on a run.” Brian stated unbelieving.

 

“He has youth, you are an old man.”

 

“Old.” Brian pouted.

 

“Yes, but I love you anyway.” Justin stated as he kissed Brian on the lips.  He was happy that his partner didn’t shy away.   He was glad, he never did get a chance to talk to him about what had happened before their guest arrived.   “So how long is he here?” Justin casually asked.

 

“Until I’m better, so I guess forever.” Brian stated miserably.

 

“Oh I’m sure he won’t take that long.

 

 

 

John sat in the café waiting for his breakfast date.   He knew what was going on and he was not happy, he wasn’t happy one bit.  He had done his psych rotation so he knew the score.   He knew why she felt this way.   It had to stop.   Today either one of two things happened.   She took his advice and got herself some help, or they stop by Deb’s and get Carl and she go away permanently.

 

“John, I couldn’t believe it when JR told me you were in town.” Lindsay stated when she joined John.

 

“Yea I got in last night, we arrived at the mansion at the same time.   She told me what happened and of course I hopped the first plane.   I can’t believe my mother nor did grandmother think that it was right to tell me.”

 

“Oh well, I guess they didn’t want you to drop everything and come here.   Brian will be fine.” She said with her best smile.

 

“I didn’t drop everything, I’m becoming a doctor.   A neurologist to be exact, this is where I need to be.  He’s taking care of my education, and I’m going to take care of him.”

 

“He has a family here John, I can’t believe you just dropped everything and came.” She said in awe.

 

“Well that’s what you did, I mean you were in Sunny Springs was it, how are you really Lindsay?”

 

Lindsay didn’t like his tone.  She didn’t like how he went from loveable John, to Dr. John.   Surely he didn’t know did he?

 

“Oh yes, he told me.   I took him out last night and we got plastered and he told me every time you touched him.   The only reason that you are not behind bars right now, is that you didn’t go all the way, because I swear to go Lindsay if you had gone all the way and violated him god help me I would have……” he stopped he couldn’t bring himself to think what he would have done if Lindsay had raped Brian.

 

“I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me?” she said before breaking into sobs.

 

“Don’t cry, calm yourself!” he said angrily.   I didn’t call you here so you could start crying and people could stare at me think I’ve done something to you.   I brought you here to give you this.” He stated handing her a card.

 

“What’s this?” she asked.

 

“This is the name of a good shrink.   He was one of my professors.   I want you to go and see him and tell him everything.   I get it, you need to be in control.   Since everything that has happened and you came back you’re not in control of anything.   Melanie is the parent to Gus and JR.   She holds the key to your relationship and she decides if you two stay together or not.   Brian and Justin are the parents of Izzy; all she knows is that you are her mother.   She had only seen you what five times since you gave birth to her.   She doesn’t respect you, well not like a mother.   You needed to be in charge of something and you found the perfect person in Brian.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about?” she stated nervously.

 

“Are you going to sit there and lie?”

 

“I know what I did, I’m not lying about that and I’m sorry, but about being in control.”

 

“I really don’t get what’s going on around here.  Brian will never recover if this continues.   He goes every day and has his therapy but when he goes home Justin just does everything for him like he’s a kid.  He’s not a kid.   Then there’s you, you want him to treat like he use too.   I talked to him after you burned down his place and killed his accountant, he hates you.”

 

“I didn’t kill anybody!” she stated angrily.

 

“Right, I’m sorry you were trying to get some afternoon delight in a house with a faulty fireplace.   I think that you had been told that what six, seven times before it happened, and then you tried to say that you hadn’t been told in the beginning and they thought Brian was trying to burn down the place for insurance purposes.   Do you not understand what that did to him?   Same old same old, they had already thought when Babylon burned down that he had something to do with that?   He didn’t need your shit, and here you were adding to his problems.   I swear, are you people brain dead.   Take the number and make an appointment.    If you don’t make one by the end of the week I come with the cops and the people in the white coats!” he shouted.    He threw some bills on the table and left before she had a chance to reply to anything that he had said.

 

 

 

Sleep is good.   He wanted to sleep.    Those were the thoughts that went through Brian’s head as he sat in this class thinking learning to be human.   He never thought about Justin having to go through something like this,   He had tried to tell Justin about these classes recently and he told him that he couldn’t talk about it.  He understood he didn’t want to talk about it either.   He looked to his left to where one Edward Sawyer sat.   He was about 24 and he took some bad shit and hopped on his back and went for a wild ride he would never forget.    He heard they were still scraping pieces of him off the asphalt and it had been three years ago.   He was in bad shape.  He didn’t have much control.   He would lose he trail of thought all the time, he would laugh at all the wrong times, he was jittery and quite stupid.    Sadly he thought those were all traits that he had before he became like him.   Was he like him?  He knew he was different.   He slowly could see Eddie becoming his new best friend, and that alone made him sick to his stomach.

 

“So what do you think?” Eddie asked as he sat next to Brian when the class ended.

 

“Think about what?” Brian asked sleepily.

 

“About what I asked you last week, you know when you got angry after you were balancing your check book and you thought that the six was the nine and I told you I use to be an accountant.   Then I asked could I come work for you because I need a job, I’m going to be getting out soon, and you need to a job to buy stuff and like survive.” He said all in one breath like a puppy waiting to be praised or slapped Brian wasn’t really sure.

 

“Where exactly do you want to work?” Brian asked.

 

“I asked around and they told me you were Brian Kinney, that you had a building with your name on it and everything.   That you were a millionaire and some shit, I told that they had to be mistaken because you can’t be a millionaire and be here with us.”

 

“Why not?” Brian asked.

 

“Why not what?” Eddie asked.

 

“I could be a millionaire.”

 

“A millionaire taking classes here, if I were you I’d pay somebody to think for me.” Eddie stated with a shrug.

 

“If I were you I’d blow my brains out.” Brian stated with his signature smirk.

 

Eddie didn’t really know what to think about that.   “So what about the job Brian?” Eddie eagerly asked.

 

“I don’t have a company anymore.” Then he walked out of the class to sneak a smoke before Justin came to pick him up.

 

 

 

“So when is it you want this party to be?” Emmett asked Michael as they sat in the back booth of the diner.

 

“I don’t know for sure, but I’m shooting for the week after Valentine’s Day.   It’ll totally be a surprised because no one looks for a birthday party after their birthday.   I’ve been busy since Brendon and I have decided not to move.   I want him to know that I haven’t forgotten the sacrifice that he made for me.   Then it’s about his birthday time as well.”

 

“I don’t know Michael.  That’s the week of Brian and Justin’s anniversary and Brian had this huge party planned.”

 

“Em, it’s four months away.   Do you really think that they will want to celebrate then with everything going on?”

 

“Everything like what?” Em asked confused.

 

“The guy is just getting back on his feet.   My mom said that she was over there a couple of days ago and Brian freaked when a car backfired.   He’s a mess, i/m sure that Justin doesn’t want anyone to be a witness to that.   Brendon says that right now is going to be very hard for Brian.” Michael said sadly.

 

“I could imagine.   I’ve had so many parties that I haven’t had a chance to get back over there since the welcome home party.   If you ask me that wasn’t much of a welcome.   I think I’m going to get over there tomorrow, and I hear John’s in town.”

 

“John, I haven’t seen him in ages, we had a blast the last time he was here.” Emmett couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face as he thought of the night that they had together.

 

“You can wipe that smirk off your face, he’s not here to play.   He’s here to help Brian.   You should have heard Brendon when he came home last night.  He said the kid came in like he owned the place.   Talking to Brian’s therapists and telling what they were doing wrong.   He even told them that they had given Justin the wrong advice.   Told them they never should have tried to point him into institutions, and that he needs to stop assisting Brian in everything.   It’s only been a month.”

 

“I think that John knows what he’s talking about.    I was appalled when I heard that they had pointed Justin into the direction of sanitariums.   Brian is not crazy, he’s just lost and it’s up to us to help him.   I haven’t seen him dressed in his designer best since he’s been out of the hospital.   Does he leave the house?   Teddy has been working his ass off and he even said that he’s going to try and get over to see Brian because he’s been neglecting him.   I bet his only company has been Izzy.   Can you imagine, Brian and Izzy all day long?    I’m surprised he hasn’t shot himself.

 

“Don’t joke like that!   You know what recently happened?” Michael said referring to Brian’s suicide attempt.

 

“I don’t think that’s what happened and you of all people shouldn’t have went off running to who ever was listening to tell that.   You are supposed to be his best friend.”

 

“Brian told me a long time ago that Justin is his best friend.   Besides, he wasn’t going to tell anyone.   That was something that had to be told, what if he tried again.   Lindsay understood why I did it.

 

“I bet she did.”

 

“What do you mean by that?” Michael asked confused.

 

“Have you seen the two of them together since she got back.   Brian could barely stand her for putting the life of Izzy in danger when she went cheating on Melanie and lets not forget about poor Susan.   She lost her life in that fire.   She was one of Brian’s oldest friends..   Now she acts as if they are best friends again.   She talks about him constantly.   I went to the gallery the other day and she was there trying to get her job back.   I was there twenty minutes and the whole time she talked about Brian.”

 

“She’s just worried about her friend.   Isn’t that what you just said he needed.” Michael asked confused.

 

“I don’t think he needs friends like her.”

 

“Can we please get back to the story, Michael asked again?”

 

“Yea week after Valentine’s you say?   Well I’m not going to do that until Brian tells me that his is cancelled, but we can start working on yours as well.”

 

“Okay.”

 

 

 

John sat at the tabletop in the kitchen with a stack of index cards writing out tasks.   Simple tasks really like, making coffee, or writing a letter.   He had observed Justin and Brian a little the night before.   Justin wasn’t letting Brian do any of his exercises and it was hard to deter what he knew and what he didn’t.   If Justin sensed that Brian didn’t understand something instead of letting him figure it out, he would just do it.  He knew that Justin probably didn’t realize he was doing it, but it had to stop and fast.  

 

Izzy walked into the kitchen and picked up a a card.

 

“I know how to tie my shoes?” she stated noticing the words tie and shoe from the card.

 

“You do?   Who taught you that?” John asked.

 

“My daddies.   Daddy lets me practice in the mornings when he doesn’t put on a suit he never remembers how to tie his.” She laughed.

 

“Was this before or after he got hurt?” John asked trying to see if it was something that he really didn’t know how to do, or would he pretend not to know to help Isabella out.   That was something about kids, they would answer anything you asked and never give it a second thought.

 

“Well before it happened he would ask me every Saturday when he was going out to run, but now he even asks what foot is which.” She giggled.

 

“What?” he asked confused.

 

“He was putting on the same shoe.  All of daddy’s running shoes are the same.   Three boxes of the same shoe, this morning he had on two lefts.  He didn’t even knew.    He got mad and through the shoe, and he said a bad word.   I showed him what he’d done.   I thought he was going to be mad, but he told me that I was a clever peanut and then we went running on the tree…tra….the treadmill?”

 

“Yea treadmill, does your daddy get made a lot since he fell down?

 

“Yes!   Sometimes I scared to even talk to him because he gets mad, and he never wants to put his money in the swear jar and there should be like a million dollars in there by now cause it’s fuck this and shit that and I tell him and he gets mad and tell me that he’s the daddy but he isn’t the daddy now and that makes him even madder.”

 

“He’s not?” John asked confused.

 

“No, Justin told me that now he was the daddy.   If I wanted something to eat, or wanted to go for a walk to ask him because for a while daddy couldn’t be the daddy anymore.    I told him what Justin said and he cried.   I didn’t want to make daddy cry, and he does that a lot too.

 

“Cry?” John asked totally getting wrap up in the conversation with the kid.   She was like a sponge she soaked up everything and no one even had a clue.   Oh he had to correct a lot of wrongs going on.   He needed to get everyone back in there on place.   It would be a hard job but he could do it.

 

 

 

Brian had just put out his cigarette when he saw the SUV pull up.  He was a little confused by who was driving but he got in anyway.

 

“What are you doing behind the wheel?” he asked Gus who was now behind the wheel of their SUV.

 

“I’m practicing for the test.  I have my permit but I need the extra practice.” He said with a smile as he pulled out.

 

“Relax, he’s a good driver.” Justin said from the back. “So how was therapy?” he asked

 

“How the fuck do you think?   We talked about the months, could I name them, did I know how many days they had, when the last fucking leap year was?   Do you even know when the last leap year was?” Brian asked.

 

“Last year?” replied Justin.

 

“It’s this year.  Gus said as they continued down the road.

 

“See Sunshine, even you didn’t know, oh but that’s right you’re in the same club as me.”

 

“What club?” Gus asked not noticing Justin shaking his head in the mirror.

 

“We’ve both had our brains scrambled.” He joked taking out another cigarette.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Justin asked upset.

 

“It’s called smoking a cigarette.  It’s not going to kill any brain cells they are already shot, and it sure as hell won’t give me cancer.   I don’t even think God’s that cruel.” Brian stated as he lit up and let the smoke fill his lungs.

 

“What’s the matter with you?” Justin asked.

 

“Fucking Eddie, he asked me for a job again today.   Everyday he’s asking me for a fucking job.   Then he asked why I was there if I’m a millionaire and now he’s an accountant.   Yesterday he was a graphic designer and today he was an accountant.   He wants a job, I told him I already haven an accountant.  I do Susan and Theodore are my accountants.   I don’t fucking need another one.” He shouted.   He then leaned back in the chair and pressed the bridge of his nose.

 

Justin could tell that he was getting upset.  He said Susan was his accountant, and she was before she died.    Did he realize his mistake?   Did he realize it as a mistake?   Could he ask him? Justin had so many questions but he didn’t know how to ask it because Brian was upset.   He knew he was, because he was saying odd things, because he knew for a fact that Eddie had told him that he was an accountant and never a graphic designer.

 

“Dad, are you okay?” Gus asked concerned.

 

“I’m fucking alright, why don’t you just watch the god damn road John, and what the hell is this we’re listening too?” Brian shouted as he started to fiddle with the with the radio station.  He went passed an oldie station and a song starting playing that made him stop in his tracks.

 

Justin knew that song.  It was THE SONG.   That memory was in his mind permanently now, but it wasn’t sad anymore.   Yea it always reminded him of what happened to him, but once he got the full memory back of that night, it was one of the best nights of his life.   Brian told him he loved him that night for the first time.   It was the worst night of his life as well, but he tried to take the good over the bad.

 

“Brian?” Justin asked, realizing something wasn’t right because Brian had stopped everything.  He was just frozen with his hand hovered over the knob on the dial.

 

“Gus, pull over now!” he shouted.

 

“What’s going on?” Gus asked confused.

 

“Do as I tell you now.” Justin shouted.

 

Gus didn’t know what the hell was going on.   He knew what that song was, everyone knew that by now, but it wasn’t sad for them anymore.  It was their song, they had been practicing there new waltz for the party to it.  He didn’t get why he was acting like this.   He pulled into a park that was right on the corner.

 

Justin was out of the car in a flash and to the passenger side, Brian was still there, staring at nothing.

 

“Brian?” Justin asked as he turned Brian towards him.   He’s eyes were glazed over, he didn’t know what he was looking at but he sure as hell wasn’t looking at him.”

 

“Do you think he knows Mikey?” Brian whispered.

 

“It’s me Justin, Brian do you know where we are?” Justin asked concerned.  

 

“I think he knows, I told him tonight but that was before…..” Brian stated as if he didn’t realize what Justin was saying.

 

“Before what?” Justin asked trying to figure what was Brian remembering.  He knew that Brian had been having nightmares about Jack and the things he had done to him when he was younger.  He couldn’t think of anything that he could be think of now unless….

 

“I told him, I walked out there and I took his hand.   You should’ve seen their faces, everyone wanted me to be theirs.   We didn’t care, we danced and we danced, and then I told him and kissed him front of everybody.   I look back at Daphne and I bet she came in her little pink dress.” He smirked but then his eyes got sad once more.

 

“I got him killed if I’d never come then this wouldn’t have happened.” He sighed.

 

“No Brian, that wasn’t your fault.   Do you hear me, that wasn’t your fault!” he shouted hoping to break Brian from this nightmare.  He never shared anything with him about this time, and now he wished that he wasn’t sharing it.   It was breaking his heart; there were actually tears in his eyes.   Could Brian have felt this way about him then?   He knew that Brian loved him now, but even then?

 

“I treat him like shit, I know that Michael.   You don’t have to say that, I do because he needs to leave.  If he just would’ve left none of this would’ve happened.  Now he’s broken, no more sunshine.” He sobbed.

 

“Oh Brian.  I’m here.  I’m right here!” he panicked.  He looked up and Gus looked even more afraid then him.  He mouthed for Gus to call John, and Gus took out his cellphone and walked away from them giving them privacy while he made the call.

 

“I just wish that he knew…..that he knew that i…”

 

“You wished that he knew what!   He knew what?” Justin asked getting closer to his lover.

 

“That I….” Brian was torn from his thoughts when a passing by car honked their horn.

 

Brian felt as if he’d been sleeping.   Had he been?   He remembered that Justin and Gus had picked him up but after that, everything was fuzzy.   That’s when he noticed that he was sitting in the car still, and a very concerned looking Justin was staring into his eyes.

 

“What has happened?” Brian asked getting upset.

 

“Nothing, you just, well you said you thought you might be sick and I pulled over so you wouldn’t get sick in the car.” Justin stated as he wiped his eyes.

 

“Really?   I don’t feel sick, I guess it’s passed.   Can we go home now?   I think I might want to sleep.” Brian stated.

 

“Sure.   Gus just went to make a call, why don’t you get in the back with me.   You can stretch out and sleep, we’ve still got a good thirty minutes before we make it back to Britin in this afternoon traffic.

 

“Okay.” Then he climbed in the back with Justin.

 

 

 

John didn’t know what to expect when they drove up.   Gus had called him scared to death and filled him on what was going on the side of the road.  He was afraid that something like this was going to happen, and he was sure that they had explained it to Justin.   He also know that, the dissociation was the least of Brian’s problems.   He watched them get out the car, and Justin told Gus to help his father to take a nap.  That was good, they needed to talk and now.

 

“So?” John asked as he handed Justin a cup of coffee as they sat at tabletop in the kitchen where he was still making notes.

 

“He had a flashback.   I know that is what it was.  I use to have them back after my accident had happened.  It was just intense you know, and this time it was about me that totally wigged me out.” He tried to explain.

 

“So what was it about?  What was the trigger?” John asked trying to get as much information as he could.

 

“Well he got in the car upset from the start.   Something about Eddie asking him for a job.  It’s tricky when it comes to Eddie because some days he’ll say that Eddie is his friend and the next he might as well be the antichrist.  I could tell that he was upset, and that he probably had a headache because he was pinching the bridge of his nose.  He called Gus you, and he even mentioned Susan and he never talks about her.”

 

“What was the trigger?”

 

“He got upset and then he was arguing and he fiddled with the radio and Save the Last Dance started to play.”

 

“Shit.” John said.   He knew the significance of that song.  He knew so much, his uncle shared a lot with him.

 

“I didn’t expect it to bring back bad memories.  I mean if this was five years ago maybe, but I remember now and I love that song.   I love that night, it was the first night he told me he loved me but he flipped.  He went back to what I guess was waiting for me to be alright.   He was so scared.”

 

“It’s going to be alright?” John comforted Justin as he reached across the counter to give his hand a good squeeze.

 

“How can you say that?   How can you say that with the way that he is?   He is so scared of everything and this.   I was right in front of him and he didn’t even know I was there!”

 

“Considering what Brian has been through his progress is amazing.   You have to think about that, he should be dead but he’s not and he’s high functional.   Brian is like an egg, a hard shell but also very delicate.   He’s whole life he’s been keeping it all in.   He thought that if he didn’t let it out it couldn’t harm him.   He also felt that whatever didn’t kill him made him stronger.   Which is a good way to be, but this has cracked his shell.   Now things that he used to be able to contain are seeping through the cracks.   Grandpa’s abuse, the bashing, cancer, Lindsay---

 

“Lindsay what?” Justin asked cutting him off.

 

“Nothing, I mean just Lindsay in general.   She’s free, and the fire and Susan.   He has to deal with all of that on top of this.   He can’t help it, Brian is still Brian all of this stuff is just on the surface.   Then his mind is misfiring and causing his emotions to be all over the place.   He really can’t help it Justin.”

 

“I know that, I mean but it was the bashing.   I never thought that he loved me loved me back then.”

 

“Yea he did.   He told me that a long time ago.   Justin, this is going to be hard, and things may not always be pleasant but he needs you to get back to what he use to be.   If you’re willing to stick around then he can get back to who he used to be, might be even better in some cases.

 

‘I’m not going anywhere.” Justin stated firmly.

 

“Good, now get some rest because tomorrow there’s going to be some changes.”

 

“Changes how?” he asked confused.

 

“Some things we all have to do to help Brian.   Get some rest, and enjoy the rest of the day tomorrow we help Brian get his life back.” Then he left Justin in the kitchen to ponder what to come.

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

Finding a Balance and Confessions

 

The first step in helping Brian is observation.    He goes to school every day and they teach him exercises to make his day to day tasks easy, but he doesn’t follow them, and it’s not his fault.  Justin has done everything for him before he has a chance to try.    In some cases in the beginning it was good because Brian was just getting his feet wet again, but now it’s hard because he doesn’t have a chance to use what he’s learned.   That’s why I’m here.   I shall point out to Justin what he’s done wrong and let him see for himself.  It will be painful at times I’m sure, but it’s for Brian’s own good.

 

 

 

Waking up was always the hardest Brian had come to realize.   Every morning he would wake up and he would feel sluggish.   It would take a while for his body to figure out what was going on, then he’d realize that it wasn’t all a dream.   This was his life now, being home, constantly watched.   He was Izzy’s little brother now.   For those first moments every morning he would think why don’t he just kill himself.   Then it was off to start a new day.

 

 

 

“You should have let me put some things out for him John, I’ve changed around in the bedroom he might not remember that?” Justin stated nervously as he sat at the breakfast tabletop with John trying to have coffee while his brain almost short circuited.

 

“That’s the thing Justin, we’ll never know what he’s capable of if you keep doing things for him, what’s the purpose of him going to the classes if you don’t let him try and figure things out for himself.” John asked.

 

“You’re right.  I know you’re right.” Justin stated.  He knew that he was right, it was just Brian needed him.   He realized after what happened at the park that Brian needed him more.

 

 

 

Brian walked down the stairs and he would admit that he was a bit upset.   Usually Justin would put out something for him to wear; he had put it out so much that at first he was sort of angry to find that a pair of sweat pants and some sort of sweat shirt but today there was nothing.   He had to pick for himself.  He never thought that something as easy as that would make him happy, but he was happy to wear what he wanted for once.

 

John watched intensely as he entered the kitchen.   He smiled and greeting them both with a “Good morning” and went fix his breakfast.   First he opened the fridge to decide which juice he wanted.   He wanted Guava.  He had wanted it every morning he woke up and saw it but there was something wrong with it now, it was new in a different container and he couldn’t open it.   He knew they were watching so he wasn’t going to let them see he couldn’t open a simple carton so he went with orange instead.

 

Justin knew Brian too well and he knew that he wanted the Guava and he realized right then that he had gotten a different brand and the carton was complicated.  He himself couldn’t open it the first day.   Now he knew that was why there was still some.   Brian couldn’t open the carton now he really felt like crap.

 

“Why is everyone so fucking quiet?” Brian asked irritated.

 

“No reason, so what do you want to do today?” John asked.

 

“Nothing, I guess I’ll play in the treehouse with Izzy, and then come in a take a nap, then she’ll decide what we’ll do next.” He stated dejected.

 

“Well that sounds like something that you can do later this afternoon, if you had the choice of doing something what would you want to do?” John asked.

 

“If I had the choice of anything I would want to go to work.” Brian stated waiting for the backlash.

 

“Fine, go upstairs and pick out a good suit, we’re going to the office.”

 

“Really, do you think he’s ready?” Justin asked nervously.

 

“We won’t know if we don’t try, so let’s go let’s get upstairs and get your best suit.    Where’s Gus? John asked.

 

“He went in to get his suit, told me Brian made him an appointment yesterday.

 

‘You did?” Justin asked.

 

“Yea I can use the telephone.”

 

“Get up and go get yourself ready, let’s go.

 

 

 

“What about this one?” Gus asked as he put on the third suit.

 

“No not that one, it’s green.” Christina replied.

 

“It’s a suit that I’m going to have on for what an hour, I don’t need to be sharp what can’t I just wear my church suit?”

 

“Your dad is making it so you can have a fantastic night and this is nice, but green it’s a bit flashy.” Christina stated not wanting to say it actually was the color of vomit.  She was just happy that things were good between them again, and she hated what she was about to say.

 

“Gus, my uncle wants to take us out after the banquet.” She said in one breath.

 

“You know that I can’t go.   Justin and Dad want us to go out with them, and you know we all can’t go out like one big family.”

 

“Well Uncle Chris said that he’s going to try and get in contact with Justin this week.  He said he would just drop by the house but after everything between the two of them, it might not look to hot if he showed up all out of the blue.

 

“You think?” Gus stated sarcastically.

 

 

 

Lindsay looked around the house at everything that she was once again falling in love with.   She had to leave; it was no room for her there anymore.    JR was at school and Melanie was at work, she could just slip away and no one would know what happened to her.    She would call in a few days and said that this was just too much for her and that she had to go back to the sanitarium.   They would believe that wouldn’t they?    She took a picture of JR off the mantle and turned to leave and  came face to face with Melanie.

 

“Hi.” She said uncomfortably.

 

“What the hell is going on?” Melanie asked.   “Are you leaving me?”

 

“I can’t stay here Melanie, and I know you will hate me but I just can’t I’ve done something that I’m not proud of.   I know it was wrong, but I don’t have any way to make up for it and he’ll never be able to trust me again.   I should’ve been trying to make things better but in the end I just made things worse.” She said before breaking into tears.

 

Melanie didn’t know what was going on but she knew at this very moment, that she couldn’t let her get away from her.   She loved and needed her.   They could get passed anything to stay together.

 

“It’s alright babe, I’m here and we can get passed anything.”

 

“No, I did something you’ll never forgive me for, and I don’t know how it happened.   Really I don’t, he was just there and we were on his bed and it was like old times and before I knew it….” She stopped unable to continue.

 

“What!” Melanie asked alarmed.

 

“What did Brian do?” Melanie asked slipping back into her old thoughts of Brian.  He was a bastard and she knew the kind of person that he used to be.   She was no longer thinking of the person that she had befriended over the love of their son.   For that moment all she could think about was the man that he used to be.

 

“Oh Mel, I hurt him.  I hurt him real bad.” She held on to Melanie tighter.   She knew that once she told her what she’d done, she would barely be able to look at her let alone hold her like this.

 

 

 

Cynthia Moore sat quietly at her desk going over the latest boards.   She loved her job, and she was finally a partner at Kinnetic but without Brian there, lots of other things had fallen into her lap.   She knew that she could handle things, and Teddy was a big help but a part of her just wished that he was there.   His office was so quiet without him.

 

“I leave for a month, and you’re already making yourself at home at my desk.” Brian quipped as he walked into his office to find Cynthia there.

 

She looked up and well she couldn’t believe her eyes, it was him.   It was really him, she had seen him a few days after the accident and he looked fine but he didn’t know who she was.  He was confused and it broke her heart, she left and never went back.   She didn’t dare go to his party, not if he was like that, but here he was in his Armani suit looking damn good.

 

“Brian!” she shrieked as she took him in her arms.   She didn’t care who saw, and she didn’t care if he told her that it was totally unprofessional when it was all over, all she cared was that it was Brian and he was there.

 

“Are you back for good boss?” she asked hopefully.

 

“I don’t know.” He asked truthfully.   “I was asked where I wanted to go today, and well I wanted to come here to see you.” He said nervously.

 

Cynthia noticed it then.   It was Brian but not the confident person that she knew.  He seemed shyer. Maybe this was the Brian Justin always talked about.   She didn’t want to spook him, she wanted him to stay around as long as he liked.   She needed him there, the building just wasn’t the same without the head cheese.

 

“Well do you think you want to do some work?” she asked.

 

“Can i?” Brian looked to both Justin and John.

 

“You don’t have to ask to work Brian.   If you feel comfortable in staying, I think it would be a great idea for you to stay awhile.   Justin has some things to do downtown, and so do I so we’ll just leave you here.”

 

“Leave me here alone.” He said almost panicked.

 

“You can do this Brian.   If you need anything just give us a call.” John announced handing Brian a cellphone.   I’m number 1 on the speed dial and Justin is 2.   Only if you need to, don’t just call because you’re a little panicked.   You can do this Brian.” John stated firmly.

 

“You’re right I can.” He stated more sure of himself.

 

“Okay, well I’ll see you for a late lunch.” Justin stated coming closer and giving Brian a kiss on the cheek before he and John both exited the building.

 

 

 

“Are you sure about this?” Justin asked John as they walked from Kinnetic.

 

“Yes, he just needs the confidence, and I’m not really leaving are you crazy.   I know him, he’ll be calling me before I could make it half way back to Britin.  You go and do what you have to do, and I’ll be in accounting with Theodore.   I don’t know the last time I’ve seen him.”

 

“You sound just like him.” Justin said smiling.

 

“Pardon?” John asked not sure what Justin was getting at.

 

“The way you say Theodore, the two of you are the only ones who call him that.  I know he hates it but he doesn’t let on.  You sound so much like him.   He’s really proud of you, before all of this happened he told me he was proud of the person you’ve become.

 

“I owe him Justin.   Before you say it I know I do and that’s not why I do it.   You know what I did when I was younger.  I’d believe whatever my mother and gran said about him.   They had me convinced that he didn’t give a damn about me.   He was paying for that private school I went to everyday and how did I repay him I called him a fag every chance I saw him, and then I told the cops he wanted me to suck his cock.   I was an evil little bastard, and he’s still taking care of me.”

 

“You’re his family John.”

 

“I don’t deserve him Justin.   He is so much like gran and she’s a hard person to love, but he’s not evil considering everything that’s happened to him.”

 

“Well you know that they are better now, your gran and Brian they are working on their differences.”

 

“Yea and it only took a stroke.   You go and do what you have to do.   I’ll be here if he needs anything, and if it gets out of hand I’ll give you a call.”

 

“I don’t know.   I can stay around.   I really don’t have to go to work.”

 

“He’ll be fine.   This is the first step Justin.   You want your Brian back right?”

 

“Yes of course, well you know now I don’t care who I have as long as it’s him.   You know what I mean.”

 

“Yea.   He’ll be fine, it’s like four hours until lunch time.   I’ll see you then.

 

“Okay.”  Justin looked back at Brian’s office to see if he was looking but he was signing documents and Cynthia was sitting on the edge of his desk.   He could tell that she really did miss him.   Maybe today would be a good day.

 

 

 

Stunned was not the word that Melanie was feeling right now.   She was mad, no she was pissed.   How could Lindsay  do that, and too Brian.   Brian was their son’s father, he was Lindsay’s best friend and after everything that she knew happened to him as a kid, how could she.

 

“How could you?” she asked.   She just had to know why.

 

“I don’t know.   I really don’t know, John says it’s all about me being in control of something.   I came back here and JR didn’t need me anymore, and Gus didn’t need me anymore.   Izzy doesn’t know me, I mean she knows I’m her mommy and she likes to cuddle but I was never meant to be her mother really, and she’s happy with Brian and Justin.   Hell JR is happier with them then me at the moment.

 

“That’s not true.” Melanie offered trying to reassure her.  Reassurance she really didn’t deserve.

 

“No it’s true.  I understand really I do, but Brian was there and he needed someone.  He would talk to me about Justin being distant and Justin not wanting to touch him.  It broke my heart that Justin wasn’t giving him the comfort that he needed so that’s all I was doing.”

 

“You were not comforting him!” Melanie shouted.

 

“You don’t think I know that Mel!   Each time I touched him he would just get this distant look.   He would stare off into space and totally disappear from his body.  I’ve seen that look before; at the place I was in I saw that face on lots of the patients and then when I realized that I had put that look on his face I felt so disgusted and then I would vow to never do it again and then I would do it again.” She said dropping her head in her hands.

 

“How many times Lindsay?  How far did you take it?” she asked not really wanting to know.

 

“I don’t know, I would say maybe six or seven.   It was only touching.   He wasn’t really in to it, but once he liked it but that was when he was on those drugs of his.”

 

“While he was drugged!” Melanie gagged she couldn’t believe that she was hearing this.   She couldn’t be hearing this, not now.   She was so in love with this woman.   She needed her, and she knew now that she needed her as well.

 

“I don’t know what to do Mel.  That’s why I was leaving.   John gave me a number to a doctor and he told me if I go there and get the help that I need then he won’t call the cops.”

 

“Then that’s what we’ll do.   It’s going to be alright, we’re going to get you the help that you need.  I’m here, you can count on me.”  She took Lindsay in her arms and hugged her reassuring her that everything would be alright.  It had to be, she could do this.   She couldn’t lose her family.   Not when everything was finally returning to normal.   That’s right where JR found them.

 

“What’s going on?” she asked as she dropped her book bag down by the door.

 

 

 

Brian was actually enjoying work.  It was fine, he could do this.   He had been signing things all day and it felt good to be back at work.   They had hired two new people since he’d been away.  He was looking forward to putting the fear of god in them momentarily.  He took a look at the names and the first name made he want to scream.

 

“Cynthia get in here now!” he shouted through the intercom.

 

“What is it boss, she asked as she rounded the corner.   She was really his assistant anymore, but old habits she learned that a long time ago.

 

“You hired Edward Sawyer?” he asked.

 

“Yea we hired him a few days ago.  He said that he knew you from school, and at first I wasn’t getting at what he meant but then he told me and he’s great.   Teddy says he’s doing a great job.”

 

“Is he really?” Brian wanted to know if he was actually doing a good job or was Eddie getting by because if you spent five minutes with him you surely knew that he suffered from some kind of brain damage.

 

“NO, he’s great Brian.  We looked into his credentials and everything, he graduated top in his class, obviously that was before his accident but he’s still good very good, and he passed the drug test.”

 

“Why do I hear a But, you are afraid to say?”

 

“It’s not him, really it’s not.   It’s Jeremiah, the other guy we hired.”

 

“What about him?” Brian asked feeling a headache coming on.  He began to press the bridge of his nose.

 

“Well you know Eddie, and he’ll tell anyone that he’s a little slow now because of the drugs and the ride he took on his bike without a helmet.   Well he told Jerry this and now Jerry sort of laughs a lot when he’s around him.   Gets him to get his coffee and stuff like that.”

 

“You just let that happen?” Brian asked getting pissed.

 

“Well I pulled Eddie aside and told him that he doesn’t have to do that, he’s not his assistant or anything but he says he doesn’t mind.   That Jerry is his friend, and there’s nothing wrong with getting your friend coffee.   Eddie is like a kid you know, he wants to sit at the popular table.   So Eddie gets his coffee and makes his coffee and Jerry lets him sit at his table at lunch.   It’s a fair trade in his book.”

 

“I bet.” Brian stated getting up from his desk and pulling his coat off the back of his chair.   Cynthia noticed that while he was buttoning it he missed a button.   She didn’t want to call him out afraid that it might upset him, but he caught it before he left the office and she couldn’t help the smile that came upon his face as he checked himself in the mirror and put his Kinney smirk in place.

 

“Where are you going?” she asked alarmed.

 

“You know how I like to meet all the employees.” He stated as he headed for the cafeteria.

 

 

 

Edward Sawyer liked his new job.  He was an assistant to Theodore Schmidt who was head of Accounting here at Kinnetic.  He had met a lot of nice people here and they accepted him eventhough sometimes he got confused by things.   Well that was everyone except Jeremiah.   He knew the type that he was.   They had taught him about them in class.   People who would take advantage of people who were feeble minded.   He knew that was what he was doing, he wasn’t stupid.   Well at least not as stupid as he thought he was.   He didn’t want to do all of his work, sometimes he did so much of Jeremiah’s work that he didn’t have enough time to do his but he had to show Brian that he could work well so that when he found out he’d gotten his job by telling them he said he could have it, he would actually let him keep it.   He had done everything that Jerry had asked and now they were having lunch together.

 

 

 

Justin felt ashamed but he was enjoying this quiet time.   Time to actually create and get something down on a canvas and not have to think about the latest thing that has frightened Izzy or Brian.  He loved Brian, but now he was more than a handful.  He was like having another five year old, and Izzy was more than enough for anyone.

 

“May I come in?” asked someone standing in his doorway as they knocked.   Justin was surprised when he looked up and it was Chris Hobbs.

 

“Come in.” he said calmly.

 

“I asked around and found out this is where your studio was, so you still in to the heart art thing?” Chris asked as he began to look around the small studio that Justin was occupying.

 

“Yea art is my life, although it could be better but I still have trouble with my motor skills due to your batting skills.” Justin stated looking Chris right in the eye.

 

“Yea, I know what I did Justin and it was a horrible thing, and I’m sorry what do I have to do for you to believe me?” He asked desperately.

 

“I don’t know maybe apologize without me having a gun to your head!” he shouted.

 

“Come on, this isn’t why I came here for today.   I didn’t want to make this about the tow of us and our damage, I wanted to make this about Gus and Christina.”

 

“What about them?   Gus told me they broke up.”

 

“They had, but they put that behind them.   They are trying to make it work, and I think it’s good.   We shouldn’t let the little things that happened between us affect them.”

 

“Yea because you know a Louisville Slugger to the brain is a little thing?” Justin stated sarcastically.

 

“I’m trying here, can you at least give me that?” Chris asked seriously.’”

 

“Okay fine, what is it that you want?” Justin asked.

 

“I want you and I to have dinner with the kids after the banquet that’s coming up and of course with Brian.   All of us getting together for the kid’s sake as sort of a family.” He stated firmly.

 

“Are you sure you don’t have brain damage?” Justin asked staring at him.


	15. Chapter 15

Gone to Shit Part 1

 

Have you ever had one of those days where everything started out on the right foot?   You were happy, you had the family, the person you loved, and there was nothing that could possibly go wrong.   Everything was sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, and then in a blink of an eye everything went to shit.   That’s what’s happening now.     I said the wrong words, I did the wrong things, and now the man I love is gone.   He could be dead for all I know, or out there in the big old world afraid and scared.   God I’d give anything to get back the past couple of hours.

 

 

 

12 Hours Ago…..

 

“He’s just so damn happy.   If he wasn’t so happy he would be pathetic.” Those were Brian’s thoughts as he sat across from one Edward Sawyer.   He loved his job, and Brian was happy that he loved it.  He made coming to work more interesting.  He was hyper, and every little thing could excite him.   Most of the employees here knew his name now, and they had him running errands left and right.   That was the problem.   He aimed to please, he wanted everyone to please.   He loved that kind of thing, he craved approval.   John was helping him take his life back, and he was doing his best to do the same for Eddie.   The only problem Eddie wasn’t helping.

 

“No you don’t need to do that Brian; really it’s not a problem.” Eddie explained.

 

“He can’t do that to you Eddie, you are an employee here and so is he, I’ve yet to speak to him and when I do I’m going to talk to him about you and the things that he has you running around doing for him.”

 

“I don’t mind Brian really I don’t, and if you need me to do anything for you just let me know.”

 

“That’s the thing Eddie, if I won’t you to do something for me I’ll tell you and you’ll do it because I’m the boss, Jeremiah Sampson is nothing here, and it’s time someone let him know that.” Brian stated venomously.

 

“No, don’t do that.  He’s going to have a party this weekend and he said I could come.  I don’t have many friends Brian since this happened to me, I’m not like you.” Eddie said unable to look Brian in the eye.

 

“Like me?” Brian asked confused.

 

“Yea all of this stuff happened to you and it was terrible, but you weren’t alone.  You got family and friends and they care about you.   I don’t have anyone, I have a mom who had already given up on me before this happened and now she blames me because of the way that I am.   She has the right to blame me I mean I’m like this because I was addicted to drugs Brian.   Please don’t say anything to Jeremiah.  It’s fine really.” He practically begged.

 

“Fine for now I won’t say a word.” Brian stated and then he excused Eddie to get back to work.

 

“He what?” Daphne asked stunned.

 

“You heard me, he wants us all to sit down and have dinner together after the banquet.   He said it would be good for the kids, and I guess it would be Daphne.” Justin tried to explain hoping she of all people would understand.

 

“Do you think that’s wise?   I mean can you sit across from the guy that bashed you and break bread?” Daphne asked calmly.

 

“I don’t know.   I think I can, I told you a long time ago I put all of that Chris stuff behind me.   As they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?”

 

“Okay, but he did try to kill you and that’s not what made you stronger.  I mean you told me you put a gun in his mouth and only at that moment did you realize that you were better than him.   You could move pass everything.”

 

“Exactly Daph, I was there with a gun and I could’ve done it you know, Cody had sat up everything and if I wanted to I could have blown his brains out that very night.   A part of me wanted to do it, a huge part actually.”

 

“What made you stop?” Daphne asked wondering.

 

“Brian.   I knew that he would be disappointed in me if I did something like that.  I would’ve thrown away everything that he taught me.   I wasn’t sure of myself until Chris did what he did to me.   I know that my life would be so different now if that wouldn’t have happened to me.  Brian and I wouldn’t be together and I sure as hell wouldn’t have gone to PIFA.”

 

“You almost make it sound as if you’re glad he bashed you.” Daphne stated in disbelief.

 

“Well of course I’m not glad that he did that to me, but it molded me into the person that I am.  Chris is Christina’s guardian.   She’s a nice girl and I have to realize that she is that way because of him.   I could sit at a table with him and have a meal.   I could do that no problem, and that’s what I told him.”

 

“Why do I think there’s a but somewhere in that?” Daphne questioned.

 

“Well of course there is, the but is Brian.   Brian has never forgiven Chris for what he’s done, and when I finally told him what I did with that gun he lost it.   Now with everything going on and the meds and his temper and everything, I’m so fucking scared of what could happen.   It’s good being able to talk to you like this.   I’ve missed you.” Justin said sincerely.

 

“Me too, and I am okay.   I’ve forgiven Lindsay and I think it’s time you do the same.” Daphne stated remembering the real reason that she had stopped by.

 

“No I can’t, she’s sick Daphne!” Justin snapped.

 

“She forgot about the fireplace it’s the kind of mistake that anyone can make.   I was in that fire Justin and I forgave her so of course you can.”

 

“Fuck the fire!    I can’t forgive her for what she’s done to Brian now since his accident.”

 

“What has she done?” Daphne asked totally confused.

 

 

 

“He did what?” Gus asked unable to believe what she was telling him.

 

“He went over to your dad’s studio and put out the olive branch, he asked could we all have dinner together after the banquet.”

 

“Is he nuts?   My dad will kill him; he’s not in a good place right now.” Gus stated in disbelief.

 

“Oh come on, he’s at work right this minute, I think he’s doing fantastic and when he sees that Justin and my uncle are brave enough to let bygones be bygones he will have no choice but to follow suit.”

 

“I’m sorry, I forgot you only know the warm and cuddly version of my father, you don’t now the psychotic version that everyone on Liberty is aware of.   We’ll be sitting there and Chris will ask my dad to pass the bread, and he will with his fist!” Gus shouted throwing his hands up in the air.

 

“Do you think that things could really be that bad?” Christina asked in disbelief.”

 

“Oh how I wish that it wouldn’t be that way, but my dad’s on a short fuse these days we should just go out to eat together without the adults.

 

“God, could things get any worse?” Christina asked.

 

“Thank God I found you guys, we have got to talk.” JR stated as she walked into the room.

 

 

 

“So how are things?” John asked as he sat across from his uncle having a coffee.

 

“I’m fine; in fact I think that it’s ridiculous that you are still here.   I think you should leave me here alone; I’m very good at taking care of myself these days.   I only got lost twice going to my office today.” Brian stated with his Kinney smirk.

 

“I can tell by the way you keep rubbing at your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose that you’re agitated by something.   I bet I know what it is.   You can’t let what Jeremiah does get to you.” John stated firmly.

 

“You’re right I shouldn’t and if this was any time before the accident I would have cleaned his clock by now, why am I standing around like some kind of coward.”

 

“You don’t want a confrontation, you are doing the smart thing, violence is not the answer Brian, and as of late you have been losing control of your temper, you are doing the right thing.”

 

“I want to smash his head in, what he’s doing to Eddie is wrong.”

 

“Maybe he should have a conversation with the boss; you said that he hasn’t met you yet.”

 

“You’re right, I think I’ll go down to the department and explain to him what he is doing and how it can affect his future here at Kinnetic.”

 

“There you go, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to be unemployed, and you can do it in a calm manner.”

 

“Yea I can.” He stated calmly.

 

“You know I think I better come along with you just in case.” John offered realizing that his uncle might still use his temper.

 

“Okay if you want too.”

 

 

 

Christina and Gus sat quietly while JR told them what she had overheard her parents arguing about.   They both had talked about this situation but now hearing and knowing that it was actually true seemed to make things far worst.

 

“Are you sure you heard correctly?” Gus asked not wanting to believe this about his mother.

 

“You think that I would come to you if I wasn’t sure.   They’ve been talking about it for days, I caught them a few days ago I guess when she had told her he first time.   They were hugging and Lindsay was crying.” She stated how she called Lindsay by her name was not lost of Gus.

 

“I can’t believe it, she never should have come back, and what is your mom doing about it, is she just going to let her stay here?” Gus practically shouted in her face.

 

“Yea.   She’s getting her some counseling; they feel that together they can get through this together.”

 

“What a load of bullshit!” Gus shouted losing his temper.”

 

“Gus!” Christina warned.

 

“Don’t Chris, just don’t.   I told you that someone was doing something to him, and for it to be her.   She’s supposed to be his friend and for her to do this to her, its sick and its wrong and it ends now.” He stated jumping from his bed and heading for the door.

 

“Where are you going?” both girls asked in unison.

 

“It’s time for Melanie to make a decision.”

 

“Gus don’t go down there and say something that you’ll regret.” Chris warned.

 

“I’m not.   I’ve sort of made this decision a long time ago, it’s time the put it into motion.

 

 

 

“Does he know that you know?” Daphne asked horrified by what he’d just told her.

 

“No, I couldn’t tell him, I didn’t know what to do when I found out.  I came back early one time she was doing me the favor of sitting with him.   They were on the bed, and he was practically asleep and she had her hand down his pants!” he sobbed.

 

“I didn’t know what to do, but that was the last time that she was alone with him here at the house.   I mean it’s Gus’ and Izzy’s mother.   Her relationship with Gus has been on thin ice since she went away but Izzy didn’t really know her but now she can’t stop talking about her mom.   She can’t believe that she has a mom and she loves her so much.   How can I take that away Daphne, how can I do that and not be some kind of monster.

 

“She’s the monster!” Daphne stated.    “She doesn’t deserve to be around her daughter if this is what she’s doing.   She needs to be put away, counseling might make her better but it should be in house, and then after sometime maybe she can come back and have some kind of relationship with her kids.   It ends now Justin, it ends now you have to do something about it.

 

 

 

Melanie was startled when she looked up into the face of her children.   They didn’t look happy, they didn’t look happy at all.

 

“What’s going on here?” she asked.

 

“Do you know?   Is it true that mom has been touching dad?” Gus asked wondering would she lie to his face, and a part of him hoping that she did.

 

“Who told you that?   JR have you been eavesdropping she asked.”

 

“I knew something was up mom, that’s part of the reason that I got John to come down, and I knew that someone was doing something to him he talks to me I told you that.   I just needed the who and what was being done.   You and Lindsay have been having private meetings, and whispering all the time.   It’s just like before when she went away.   I’m not stupid mom.”

 

“We’re taking care of it, your mom knows what she did was wrong but she’s been seeing a doctor, a doctor that John suggested actually.”

 

“So she goes to the doctor and nothing is said or done?” Gus asked in disbelief.

 

“Sweetheart maybe this is something that we should discuss when we’re alone just family.” She stated gesturing towards Christina.

 

“She’s a part of this; she knew something was up just as soon as I did.”

 

“What’s going on in here?” Lindsay asked as she entered the house and found her family deep in conversation.

 

“It’s time that Melanie makes a decision, I hope this time around she makes the right one.” Gus stated looking his mother directly in the eye.

 

 

 

Brian entered the art department after finding out that Eddie had been down there for the last hour.     Time he entered he knew immediately who Jeremiah was, Eddie was on the edge of his desk practically clinging to every word.   He took a good look at the interaction and knew right away that Jeremiah wasn’t only using the fact that Eddie was a little slower now, but the fact that Eddie was obviously attracted to him.   If he was so disgusted with the asshole, he would think he was sort of hot and he might fuck him before he told him exactly where he could go.   This was going to be fun he thought to himself.

 

“Remember you are only here to introduce yourself and talk in a calm manner.” John stated as he took his uncle’s arm and realized that he was about to lose it.

 

“I’m not going to lose it.” He stated rolling his tongue around in his mouth.

 

 

 

Jeremiah Braxton was very proud of himself; he had the perfect little assistant when it came to Edward.   He was harmless enough, all he had to do was touch him here and there and smile at him and the guy would do anything he asked.   He loved when the places he worked took in the retards.   All they wanted was a little affection, and Eddie was the best kind.  He was attractive, he could hold a conversation, but he lost his concentration a lot and if you didn’t stay right there on the topic with him his mind would wander and he lost trail of thought.   You could totally make him feel that you’d already told him to do something and he would do whatever you liked.   Oh yea he liked Edward a lot, maybe he would get a little taste if things kept working out this good.

 

“Eddie!” Brian shouted from across the room.   Jeremiah looked up in the face of an angry looking dude; he’d never seen him before.   He wondered who he was, and what did he think he was doing messing up things with Eddie.

 

“Eddie, we talked about this earlier, isn’t there someplace you need to be?” Brian warned.

 

“Yea I know, but Jerry wanted me to help him with a couple of his accounts and I talked to Teddy and he said it was alright if I helped out for a while.”

 

“Did he now?   Theodore get your ass out here now!” Brian shouted.

 

 

 

Theodore Schmidt had been told that Brian was back at work.   For the past couple of days he had been meaning to get down and say hi, after all he and Brian had become good friends over the past couple of years eventhough Brian wouldn’t tell anyone.   He was the reason that he was doing so well, he gave him this job when no one else would touch him after his “Porn King.” Situation but Brian did.   Now he heard a familiar shriek all the way in his office.   He knew something bad was about to happen, something huge, but you know what he just couldn’t stop the smile that was appearing on his face.   He was back, and he was in rare form.

 

“Hey buddy, I don’t know what you want with Eddie here but he’s helping me right now?” Jeremiah stated walking towards Brian.

 

“Are you in my face right now?” Brian asked pinching the bridge of his nose.   “You are in my personal space right now, and I would kindly appreciate if you would back up!” Brian stated remembering the classes and trying to stay calm.

 

“Brian, are you okay?” John whispered.

 

“Fine.” He said through gritted teeth.   “What I need Mr. Braxton is it to understand is that Edward actually has a job here, and it’s not to cling to his every word.   Remember a trial basis Edward; this is not going to be good on deciding if you will be hired on a permanent basis.” Brian stated hoping that Eddie would understand that he was just trying to help, that the guy shouldn’t be taking advantage of him that was his biggest problem.   Everyone at the center told him that, he was too trusting.

 

“Listen Buddy it’s okay I didn’t know you were using him as well.” Jeremiah whispered as he pulled Brian aside so Eddie couldn’t hear him.

 

“What?” Brian asked confused.

 

“I love when the offices take them in and give them jobs make them feel good about themselves.  I knew he had disappeared earlier and I didn’t know that someone else was using him.   Just let him do these last three preliminary reports for me and then you can your turn with him.   He’s very gullible, I told him I was going to take him to a party this weekend, and ever since then he’d do anything I ask.  He probably would taste my shit if I asked.   That’s how their minds work.” He said with a smirk.

 

“The retards, they’ll do anything for a cookie.  I like looking him though he is kind of cute.   Wasn’t always this way either, he took some bad shit and ended up like this.” He said with a laugh.  “Maybe I’ll help him take a trip down memory lane later and really have a good time.” He said with a smirk.

 

Brian couldn’t believe what he was saying.   He knew the guy was an ass but what he was saying about Eddie wasn’t right.   Eddie was doing well, he was taking his life back and this is the thanks that he got for trying to become a real person again.   He couldn’t let this bastard get away with saying it.   He couldn’t explain how all of this was making him feel.   A part of him wanted to beat this guy until he died, but another part made he want to die because he was Eddie he was just like Eddie.   Is this what he saw when he looked at him.

 

“But Eddie’s my friend.” Brian shouted.

 

“Brian you okay?” John asked getting alarmed at the sound of Brian’s voice; he hadn’t heard him sound so broken in a while.

 

Brian didn’t even hear John when he asked that.   All he could see was the smug look on one Jeremiah Braxton’s face.   Was this how he saw him?   It wasn’t fair.   None of this was fair, and before he knew it he had punched Jeremiah right in the face.

 

“What the hell is going on?” Ted asked coming around the corner and seeing one Jeremiah Braxton on the floor.

 

“He’s got five minutes Theodore!” Brian shouted.

 

Ted didn’t even have to ask what that meant with one look at Brian.  He knew that he had to have a reason.   So he only replied “Sure thing boss.”

 

“What the hell is going on?” Jeremiah asked confused.

 

“You’ve got five minutes to get your shit and get the hell out of here you are fired!” Brian shouted being held back by John and Ted.

 

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Jeremiah asked.

 

“I’m Brian Kinney, you’re fucking boss.   You are fired, how long Ted?” Brian asked still trying to wrap his hands around Jeremiah’s neck.

 

“3 Minutes 22 seconds.” He responded.

 

“Get your shit, and if one pen is missing I’ll have your ass.” He stated breaking away from John and Teddy and storming off towards his office.

 

 

 

“What’s going on here?” Lindsay asked again as she walked further into the house.

 

“We’re discussing how you touched dad!” Gus shouted.   “How in the hell is he going to recover when people like you are doing that?” he asked.

 

“I’ve done a bad thing Gus and I’m seeking help for it, but you’ve done your father wrong as well, you haven’t been much of a son!” she spat back.

 

“Lindsay!” Melanie shouted unable to believe what her wife had just said.

 

“It’s true.   You said yourself that he was going around like he’d lost his best friend, while his father sat there in the hospital asking everyone where he was, anytime anyone came to see him he thought it was Gus, and you could see his heart breaking every time you didn’t show up.   All he ever wanted was you, and you couldn’t even go and see him.”

 

“Lindsay, do you realize what you’re saying?” Melanie asked looking at her wife.   Did she realize what she was doing?

 

“I’m sorry.   Gus, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that, I understand why you couldn’t go and see your father.  I could bear to see him at first, but I realize that I had to be there for him and of course you and Izzy.”

 

“Izzy doesn’t need you for shit!” Gus shouted.

 

“Gus Peterson you will not talk to your mother that way.” Melanie scolded.

 

“Mother, she’s been no mother to me for the longest time, hell you’ve not been one either.   Justin and Brian those are my parents.   While she was in a funny farm, and you were getting over the fact that you just didn’t want me they were taking care of me, and then when Brian needs someone to take care of him, she comes like she’s here to help and what does she do betray his trust.” Gus spat back in their faces.

 

“Gus your mother is sick and she’s getting the help that she needs, we are going to stand by her and help her through this.

 

“No!” Gus and JR said in unison.   Christina got the feeling that maybe she didn’t need to be there.

 

“No?” Melanie questioned her children.

 

“It’s time for you to make the decision Mel.   Now you keep apologizing to me for what you did before.   When you picked JR and left me, you gave me to Brian and Justin and they loved me, but they kept telling me that I should forgive you because you came back and you did.   Here’s your chance, pick me for once.” Gus pleaded with Melanie.

 

“I’m your mother!” Lindsay shouted.

 

“You’re not, and God for Izzy’s sake I hope that you can be again one day, but you need help and you can’t get it here.” Gus whispered to his mother hugging her.   He’d missed her so much, but he knew that what was happening right now was for the best.

 

“Melanie? JR?” Lindsay questioned.   Hoping that at least one of them would on her side.

 

“Lindsay maybe it would be best if you went back to the hospital, but it wouldn’t be like last time.  We’d come and see you.” Melanie stated.

 

“Yea we both will.” JR said trying to give a reassuring smile.

 

“Well screw all of you!” she shouted running from the house.

 

“Lindsay” Melanie called out for her.

 

“Let her go mom, she’ll come back and she’ll realize that what she did was wrong and we are making the right decision.” Gus said giving Melanie a hug.

 

A part of her wanted to run after Lindsay.   She needed to reassure her that she was in fact on her side and she would help her through this, but Gus had called her mom and he was hugging her and she needed this for the longest time.   She wanted him back for the longest time.   She couldn’t hold it in anymore, she wept.    She wept for the fact that she had her son back, and that she might have just lost the only woman she ever loved.

 

 

 

Brian was outraged.  “How could he make him feel that way?   He was in charge of his life.   He had been doing so well, he was back at work and the people were happy that he was there.   But Jeremiah laughed, he thought everything was so fucking funny and before he knew it he had hit him.   He had made him hit him.   It wasn’t fair!” he thought as he threw the contents of his desk onto the floor.

 

John knew that when he approached the office and heard Brian shouting that something was wrong.   He had been doing so good, and for Jeremiah to do that to Eddie in front of everyone he knew that in some way Brian would think that’s how people saw him, but it was so wrong.   No one saw him that way.  He was just going to have to make him see that.

 

“He won’t let me in.   I asked him was everything all right but he wouldn’t tell me and he just pushed me out of the office and closed the door.” Cynthia stated as she approached John.

 

“It’s fine.   I’m just going to go in, why don’t you help Teddy get rid of that Jeremiah guy, he’s been fired.”

 

Cynthia wanted to make sure that her boss was okay, when he walked back to his office, she could see the tears in his eyes and it wasn’t fair.   The last couple of days were fantastic, he was back.  He was recovering; she hadn’t been so proud in a long time and now, was this a relapse.

 

 

 

It broke his heart when he entered the office and saw Brian.   He had thrown everything off of the desk and then he had thrown the desk.   He sat quietly on the floor in the corner of his office.   He was breathing heavily and that’s how he knew he was upset.   What made him feel the worst was that Brian was crying, they were doing so good.   Brian was doing well, and now he knew that he thought that he was like Eddie and that’s how everyone saw him.

 

“Brian.” John called out to him, but he didn’t answer.   He didn’t even acknowledge that he was there.  He was in another place now, hands down to his side but they were clenched into fists.  He could tell that he was trying to calm himself but the tears kept falling.

 

“It’s okay, I know that you might be thinking that is how people see you, and that the last couple of days people have been humoring you, but it’s not like that.   You’ve been missed here, and you are doing fantastic.” John stated.

 

“I’m nothing!” he shouted.   “I’m just as bad as Eddie.   Everyone around here has just been smiling in my face and giving me simple tasks to do like a monkey.   I’m not a trained monkey!   I’m everyone’s boss and they treat me like a child and I’m done!”

 

“That’s not the case and you know it.   You talked to the Jiffy Lube people yesterday all on your own.   They were impressed don’t belittle that Brian we were making progress.”

 

“No we weren’t!    Why don’t you just go, I’m nothing but a lab rat to you anyways you didn’t come to help me, you came to better your career.   I’m only a check on your list for life.   Well you failed, go back to school and leave me the fuck alone, find another lab rat.   No worries, I can still sign my name so the checks for your tuition will still be sent.” Brian said as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.   He fumbled in his pockets for his pills and found them.   He tried to open them but couldn’t, he wanted to ask John to open them but he didn’t need him around to wipe his ass so he just through them across the room to join the rest of the things.

 

John looked at his uncle and he couldn’t stop the tears from coming to his eyes.   Was that what he really thought?    He had to realize that he was there to help him because he loved him.   Then he realized that since he been there not one time did he call him Uncle, or Bri or anything affectionate like he’d normally do.   He came in his professional capacity, but he had to know that he loved him, and that was the real reason he was there.   Didn’t he know that?

 

“Uncle Brian you know I love your right?   I’m here to help you because you are so much better than this.” John stated.

 

“Oh so it’s Uncle now, you came like you were going to help me.   We went out and we got hammered and I told you what she did to me and you come like you were John but you’re not.   You came with check lists, and exercises and you’re just like the rest of them.   You’re trying to get back someone that I’m just not anymore.

 

“You are though.   What just happened is more than enough proof that you are still Brian Kinney.   You floored that guy, I wanted to cheer but it was wrong, you shouldn’t have lost your temper but it was so you.” John said with a smile.

 

“No it wasn’t.   I was having an episode.   My head is fucking killing me and I can’t even open my pills, and I’m so sick of everyone wanted me to be something that I can’t be anymore and no one is fucking asking me what I want!” Brian shouted getting upset again.

 

John retrieved the pills for his Uncle and opened them passing him one.   It hurt him when he took them with a shaky hand.   Didn’t he realize that wasn’t one of his episodes?   Didn’t he realize that he was just upset because what happened was upsetting?   He was so close, he could taste it.  It was exciting him how close Brian was to getting back to himself.  He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even hear what he had said.

 

“What did you say Uncle Brian?” he asked hoping he would repeat it and not hide it.

 

“I said strike one.   Two more and I’ll have to go away.   I don’t want to go away.”

 

John knew that he had to get a hold of himself.  He was trying to be professional but how could he when his uncle was looking at him with those eyes, and begging not to be put in a home.   Damn him and those fucking strikes.

 

“Oh you don’t have to go anywhere Bri.   I’ve told you time and time again that was a stupid decision to make.  We’re going to fix you.” John stated.

 

“Why do I have to be fucking fixed!” he shouted jumping to his feet.   “All that you and Justin keep trying to do is fix me, maybe you all need to be fixed and I’m fine.   Izzy likes me this way, why do I have to be here at Kinnetic in this fucking suit!   I make enough money that I don’t have to be here anymore.”

 

“You are here because you want to be here.” John stated.  He knew what was happening, Brian had the pills in him and with all the emotions going through his body right now he was getting confused and didn’t know if he were coming or going.

 

“What do you want Uncle Brian.   It’s your decision, tell me right now and I’ll make it happen.

 

“I just want not be like this.” He stated and threw himself into John’s arms and he cried.   He hated that he had no control over his emotions and he hated that he found comfort in the arms of a man that he was just telling didn’t love him at all, but he just wanted it all to end.   “I just want it to be over.   Can I please go home.” He sobbed into John’s ear.

 

“Yea, come on I’ll take you home.

 

He took Brian by the hand and led him from the office; they went out the back way so that Brian didn’t have to face the people that were so happy that he had come back to work.   He couldn’t believe that this had happened, he was doing so well.   Fucking Jeremiah Braxton, were his thoughts as he put Brian in the back seat of his car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Gone to Shit Part 2

 _He was in a stairwell of some hotel.   All the rooms were locked, no matter what door he went to all of them were open.  He rounded a corner, and came to an opened one.   He realized the room it was his office at Kinnetic.   Everything was in it just the way he had left it.   A hot cup of coffee on his desk, the latest markups for all the upcoming campaigns, and the business section of the newspaper.   He turned his chair to sit down but someone was sitting there, it was him._

 _“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked_

 _“I’m living your life don’t you know, because you don’t want it anymore” he answered angrily._

 _“I do, at least I think I do.   I really don’t know anymore, it’s the drugs and the damage that’s been….._

 _“There’s no damage been done!” Brian shouted cutting himself off.   That’s what you tell yourself to make what you’ve become seem normal, but there isn’t any damage and you my friend are not normal.”_

 _“I don’t care.   I like who I am.” He replied_

 _“That’s your problem, I don’t like who you are, and since you’ve been occupying my life for a while now it’s time I take over._

 _“You can’t take over, I’m in charge no one needs for me anything I can just sit around and stew in my own juices.”_

 _“No you can’t, I’m taking back what’s mine now!” Brian screamed and a door opened and he threw himself out.   A street sweeper came out of nowhere and hit him, this time killing him instantly._

 

Brian awoke with a start.   The room he was in was dark, but he knew where he was.  He was home and he was safe.  John had done something good for a change.   He brought him back where he was safe, now he could just close his eyes and if there was a God he’d not wake up.

“Is he going to be okay?   Should he be alone?” Justin asked panicked.

“He’s going to be fine, it just got to him.   That Jeremiah guy was a real son of a bitch.   He’ll never show back up at Kinnetic if he knows what’s good for him, Brian was amazing.   You would have been so proud.” John stated.

“Okay well if he did all of this, how come he’s like that in there now.” Justin asked still confused.

“He sees himself when he sees Eddie, and you know Eddie he’s does good but then he loses his concentration.   All he wants is a friend and that’s what Jeremiah played on and Brian associates with that.”

“I need to be in there.   He needs me.” Justin sighed.

“How are you holding up anyway?   You look like shit.”

“Thanks.   I’m okay, I need to go to New York but I can’t not right now Brian needs me.”

“I’m sure that Gus and I can handle Brian if you have to go.   You have a job Justin, even by now he has to have noticed that you are still here and it’s been over a month.”

“What it’s not like I don’t live here now, I do and I only go to New York when a show is about to come up and they understand that I have obligations that I have to uphold.” Justin stated.

“So he’s an obligation!” John shouted unnecessarily.

“You know damn well that’s not what I mean, what’s the matter with you?” Justin asked that John was upset about more than what had happened at Kinnetic

“I let him down.   There he is paying for my education and I’m making the marks and making him proud and I find out that this is happening to him and I come.   Of course I come to help but I’m not helping, I’m making matters worse looking at him like a fantastic find but forgetting that he’s my blood.   Once again using him, I’m not better than my mother and gram.   Have they even been around?”

“They came when it first happened.   Your gran brought him a bear in the hospital and then they came to the party from hell I think Joan might’ve helped him that night.   I was so mixed up back then I ended up drugging him.”

“You what!” John asked in disbelief.

“I was confused back then I didn’t know what to do with him, and then he wanted to have sex and I was scared.”

“You were afraid to have sex with the man that’s practically your husband, so you decide to drug him, makes perfect since to me?” John stated sarcastically.

“We need to help him.” Justin stated looking back towards the bedroom.

“We will, I don’t know how today was a huge setback butwe will get him through this.   He just needs something, something to keep him going.

 

Brian felt the bed dip, but he really was in no mood so he continued to pretend to be asleep.

“You sleeping?” Izzy asked as she climbed on to her father and pulled one of his eyes opened with her thumb.

“Yes.” Was his one word reply.

“You are impossible.” She stated in a matter-of-factly way.

“Been talking to your Grandma Deb about me?” he asked.

“Yes.   She said that you are impossible but she loves you, and you know what I do to.” She said kissing him on his nose.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing, all you do is lie around so I guess I’m going to lie around too.”

“I’m sick Peanut this is where sick people go they go to bed.”

“Want some chicken soup?” she asked.

“No.”

“Cocoa?” she asked that always made her feel better when she was sick

“No.”

“You need a Band-Aid?” she asked.   She didn’t really understand how her dad was sick.   She knew he hurt his head but she still hadn’t found that bump, maybe he could put a Band-Aid over it.

“NO!” he shouted.

“I’m sorry, what do you want?” she asked confused.   All she wanted was for her daddy to be better.

“I want you to leave me the fuck alone!   You said I’m not your daddy so go and find your fucking daddy!” he shouted.

Brian was upset and the moment he said it he knew that it was wrong, it was the cruelest thing he could have ever done, but when her face crumbled it hurt him so much that he had done that to her face it hurt like nothing that had happened all day.

“Peanut I’m so sorry!” he tried to reach for her and she jumped from the bed.

“Peanut please let me apologize.”

“She paused by the door as if she was going to turn around and she looked him directly in the face.

“Fuck you Brian and I’m not putting a quarter in your damn swear jar!” she pasted her best Kinney smirk on her face and she ran from the room slamming the door behind her.

 

“I guess she hasn’t come back yet?” Gus asked when he joined Melanie outside on the porch.

“No.   She’s not answering her phone either, but I did call the hospital she had an appointment today and she made it so that’s good.”

“Yea that is.  I’m sorry about earlier.”

“No, I’m sorry she’s your mother Gus and it had to be hard for you to make that decision.”

“I love her, she did that to dad and I still love her so much, and I made you choose and that was wrong, you should never have to choose.”

“No I did, honey I’m so sorry about everything, I’ve missed you so much and I’m glad that you decided to stay here with me tonight.”

“Me too, I think out of all my parents you need me the most tonight.” He stated giving her another hug.   He was going to do better by Mel.   She really did love him.

 

“What did you do?” Justin shouted walking into his bedroom.

“Is she alright?   I need to speak to her, I didn’t mean it.   Is she still crying?  I need to tell her that wasn’t me talking.  It’s just because of the way things are now I’m sorry.”

“You!  You!  You!   It always has to be about you!   It’s not Brian.   This that’s happening to you it’s not just affecting you it’s affects everyone.” Justin said angrily.

“I know and I’m trying, I’m really trying.”

“No you’re not, you sulking and whining and complaining and I’m to blame for some of this because I’ve let you go on like this for too long.”

“Let me go on like this!   I’m not going on like anything; this is the way that I am now so you just have to deal with it.”

“Deal with it, deal with it, don’t you see that’s what I’m doing.   Who the hell do you think is holding this family together?   Not very good either, my daughter is crying upstairs because you’re not her father anymore.”

“Well you told her that a long time ago I was just confirming it.” Brian shouted in her face.

“That is not fair.   I come here every day for just a glimmer of  the man that I love and he’s nowhere to be found all I have is you.   A crying little baby, and I’m tired of wiping your ass and letting you destroy our children and pick up the pieces!   I’m doing the best that I can and I don’t even get a thank you.   Once again it’s all about you” he shouted.

Justin really didn’t know what he was saying.   He had talked to John about helping Brian and the fact that Brian needed him, but maybe that was the problem.   Brian needed him, maybe if he went away to New York and worked on his own life then Brian would see that he really was better, and could handle things by himself.   He had to do this.

“So what are you saying?” Brian asked.

“I’m saying that I can’t do this anymore.   After Gus’ banquet I’m going back to New York.   I’ll tell your doctor’s.”

“So you’re going to leave me.    I try to throw you out and you beg to stay, but now you want to leave me?   You’re one selfish bastard you know that.”

“Me, I’m not selfish.   I’ve done everything that I’m supposed to do and I don’t even get a thank you.   You barely touch me; we’ve had sex once since all of this has happened.   You tell me what you want, but you never ask.  I’m not your god damn occupational therapist or maid I’m your partner!”

“You could’ve fucking fooled me.   I’m thinking that you don’t even know what that means.   I can’t deal with this, I’m wrong and I’m slowly losing myself more and more every day and you think that I’m supposed to care about your feelings.  You sure as hell don’t care about mine.   The man you love is gone and all you want is a glimmer.   He’s gone okay, and I can’t help it but he won’t be back.   All you got now is me so fucking deal. I don’t care about your feelings.”

“You don’t care about anyone’s feelings, do you realize what you just told our daughter!”

“Of course I do, and I need to go and apologize.” Brian stated heading for the door.   He really didn’t have time for Justin’s drama queen spaz out.   He was in his thirties now he thought that kind of shit was over.  He needed to get back on what matter right now and that was Izzy.

“No, she’s with John now and she really doesn’t want to see you.” Justin stated putting his hand out to stop Brian from leaving the room.

“Remove your hand now Justin!” he shouted.

“No, you’ve been through enough today, and tomorrow I’ll get up and explain to her that you didn’t mean it and it’ll be okay, and then I’ll tell her that I’m going to go to New York and she’ll be staying with my mother for a while.”

“What?   So now I can’t even keep our daughter, Gus will be here and your mother doesn’t need a five year old running around.   John’s here she can stay here.”

“You just hurt her feelings, you’re all over the place right now Brian.  I’m really sorry about all of this.  It’ll be fine.  I’ll explain to her everything, about what you meant and New York and about when we get back and leave.”

“Leave?” Brian asked.   This couldn’t be where this conversation was going right?    He knew that he had said some things and so had Justin but this wasn’t right.   He didn’t want things to be like this.  He knew that things were hot and heavy just a second ago and that things were said but since the accident they were always all over the place.   He just figured he’d go to New York and then when he came back he’d forgive him.  Was he going to leave and stay gone?   It was a bluff right?   Justin was famous for bluffs.  He was also good for leaving.   He didn’t need this right now.   He didn’t feel well at all, he was getting a headache.

“Are you really going to leave?” Brian asked.

“I just can’t do this anymore Brian.   Maybe if I leave you’ll get better.   John said that I was helping you too much so I’m just going to go and things will be better.” Justin stated as he took a bag out and began packing.

“So you’re leaving, when that bastard bashed you in the head I stood by you and this is the thanks I get!”

“You didn’t!” Justin shouted.  “When it happened to me all I wanted was you and where were you, in the back of some club getting your needs met.   You couldn’t bear to be around someone that could be damaged, didn’t come around until after my mom threw me out.   I thought you cared, but then after all that loving care you showed me you couldn’t even have a fucking floor picnic with me.   No carbs after 7 my ass!   Then you get angry when I leave with Ethan he was a liar but he showed me some affection.   Then it happens to you and I’m like I’ll be there for you like you were for me but you weren’t there.   Not like me.   I’m comforting you as you cry even when you’re crying for me and you don’t even realize I’m right here.   Wiping your ass, and comforting you all while you shout and throw things.   Everyone else gets to drop by and see how you’re doing and then they leave.   I never get to leave, and I have to paste on a smile like I’m fine but I’m not.   I didn’t sign on for this, I can’t be with you if you stay this way!” he shouted.   He didn’t mean that he covered his mouth in disbelief once that last bit came out.

“Brian I didn’t…..”  Justin tried to apologize  
“Its fine I understand.” Brian said cutting off his thoughts.    “I’ll just let you pack.” he grabbed his coat from off a chair and left the room.

 

“What the hell is going on?  I heard the two of you all the way in Izzy’s room.” John asked when he met up with Brian in the hallway.

“Yea, I have to apologize to her but not now, now I just I think.   I need to go for a walk.” Brian stated heading for the door.

“Let me just tell Justin and I’ll come with you.” John stated.   Brian didn’t need to be wandering the streets alone right now.  He could tell that he was agitated, but he didn’t want to tell him that and make him angrier.

“Okay, I’ll just be in the kitchen.” He replied.  He wasn’t stupid, he knew that John didn’t think he had much sense of anything, he’d humor him and when he went to tell his “daddy” he was going to follow the invalid he’d go where he damn well please.

 

“We’re going for a walk, I’ll take him and let him cool off and then when he gets back you will apologize and we’ll go see Hooks tomorrow and see if we can up his rehab.” John stated walking back into Brian’s bedroom where Justin was still packing.

“He knows right, I didn’t mean it, not like it sounded, I’d stay forever John you know that right?” he asked almost panicked.

“You meant it Justin.   You probably didn’t mean for it to be as harsh as it sounded but you want your partner back and I understand that.   Deep down Brian understands it as well.”

“No I went too far, I shouldn’t have said that to him it was wrong, it was beyond wrong it was horrible.  Brian did the best that he could after I was bashed.”

“I was a kid then Justin so I don’t know much, but some of the folks at the hospital still can’t stop talking about you two.”

“What?” Justin asked confused.

“They talked about how when you got bashed he came there every night afraid to go in your room, but he stayed there while you slept.   He would stand outside some big glass window like a lovesick fool some of the older staff say.   You two are like some kind of love story, and then they say how you did the same for Uncle Brian while he had cancer both times.   More proof you guys can get through this.”

“I’m sorry he what?” Justin asked still stuck on the fact that Brian had stayed at the hospital every night John had to have had his facts wrong.  Right?”

“He told me a few things once, that your mom was upset with him after the prom, he didn’t blame her.   He said at first he would come in the day when he knew Deb and the others weren’t there but she spotted him and told him not to come back, so he started coming late nights when she’d gone home.   He’d come their straight from Babylon and stand there and watch you, fighting the urge to go in he didn’t belong there.   Then when the morning shift would start and he knew your mom was moments from getting there he’d change into his suit in the bathroom and go off to work pretending not to care, but he said he was dying inside.” John shared.

Justin couldn’t believe it.   He sat there and couldn’t believe what he had said to him.   How could he do such a thing?   He told him he never cared and he cared the most, he cared the deepest.

“That son of a bitch!” he said out loud.

“I’m sorry?” John asked confused.

“He does that all the time.  I say the dumbest or cruelest things and think the worst of him and he does something like this.   You know it took me being blown to bits for him to tell me he loved me.” Justin laughed his emotions were all over the place.   “Where is he?   I need to apologize?”

“He’s waiting for me in the kitchen.   Let me take him for the walk and then you two can talk when we get back.”

“You left him waiting.    You believed him when he said that?” Justin asked jumping up from his bed where he was sitting.

 

Jennifer Taylor was more than a little surprised when Brian showed up on her doorstep.   Not surprised that he was there, but when she looked outside, he’d had driven himself there.    She didn’t know that he had gotten his license back.   He told her that he hadn’t and then he went into the deep fight that he and her son had.    She wanted to immediately call him but he begged her not to with tears in his eyes.   She couldn’t do it to him, he was her friend.   She had been so worried about him for the longest time.   He was like a big kid now, but a big kid you couldn’t help but love.   That’s how he always was though, always begging for approval from mommy and daddy and only getting a slap to the face.   She hated Brian for the longest time and now she loved him to pieces.   She was hurt when he told her what her son had said about him not going to see him in the hospital and she realized that was her fault.   After everything that they all had been through she never told her son that because Brian asked her not to, now she wish she would have, but her son had to realize that Brian him to pieces didn’t he?   She couldn’t help but smile when she thought about the party Brian was planning.   Her son would know soon enough.  

She looked to the tray that was on the tabletop, and the half eaten turkey sandwich and cocoa that she had given him before he fallen asleep on her couch.   He told her that his head hurt and she could tell that one of his bad headaches was coming on when he fumbled for his pills.   She hated that he still had the headaches.   She looked at the clock, in another hour Tucker would be there, she could stay up that long and watch him.   She knew that the meds made him confused and disoriented, she didn’t want him to wake up in a strange place and not remember how he’d gotten there.   Then she remembered that her son must be going out of her mind she had better call him.

She reached for the phone on the rest by the fridge but a piercing pain shot through her stomach causing her to drop it on the floor with a loud clatter.    She looked between and wasn’t shocked by the puddle that formed there.

“Oh dear.” She said outside.

 

“Justin!” Brian shouted when he jumped awake.   “Where was he?” was the first thing he thought as he began to look around his surroundings.   He hated waking up, the fuzziness of his poor brain when it tried to recall events.   He remembered they had a fight and he was at his mom’s house?   Yea that’s where he was, but what woke up him up?   Then he heard a scream and ran to the noise.

Joan was no fool, she had done this twice already she known what was happening.   Her little monster had picked this very moment to be born.   Now when she was alone, with Brian.   He didn’t need this right now he was going to scared.

“Shit.” She gritted through gritted teeth.

When Brian followed the noise to the kitchen he saw Jennifer on the kitchen floor she was withering in pain, and her dress was wet.   He was trying to put two and two together and then there was a flash of a memory in his mind of Lindsay on the floor surrounded by flames as Izzy was trying to be born.

“Brian you have to help me?” she reached out for him.

“No, it’s all wrong.   Izzy is here, she’s not there.” Brian stated confused because of the drugs.

“No sweetie I’m Jennifer, come on I need you to help me.   You have to help me I’m gonna have Justin’s sister.” She hoped he understood.

“Right, it’s going to be fine.   First we need help.” He stated pulling his cellphone from his pocket.   His heart was pounding and he didn’t know what to do.   He had to call someone but he didn’t want to call Justin.”

“Call 911 Brian!” Jennifer shouted.

“Right 911.” He said out loud.   Now he just had to remember the number. 

“What’s the number?” he shouted.

“It’s okay Brian, just calm down it’s going to be find just call the number.

Brian called the number but no one was answering, he got angry and he threw the phone across the room.

“Brian you can’t just throw it across the room, how are we going to get help now?” she asked pointing to her broken phone on the floor.

“Fuck!”

“It’s okay, you’re okay Brian just come here.   Come sit right here and breathe Brian it’s important that you breathe.

She knew that she had to keep him calm if he was going to help her, he couldn’t help the way that he was.   The disorientation and confusing didn’t last long, but he was agitated before he got there, she had to keep him calm.   She could do that it was breaking her heart how scared he looked when he sat on the floor beside her.

 

“I just can’t sit around here and do nothing; I have no idea where he is!” Justin shouted jumping up from the table.

“Sweetheart Carl has his best people out there, and they are putting an APB out on his car, they’ll have him back here with you in no time.” Deb reassured coaxing him back to the couch.

He looked around and everyone was there.  Gus, Melanie, Christina, and even Chris was their which was different but not unsettling, he brought Christina because she was too upset to drive and he even offered to go out and look around.   He was trying.

“Where’s Lindsay?” Justin asked almost in a panic.

“She left earlier dad, after Mom, JR, Christina, and I all talked about everything.” Gus stating not wanting Justin’s mind to go where he was sure that it was going.

“How long has she been gone?” Justin asked.

“She’s been gone all day Uncle Justin, she probably thinks that Brian is here with you, no worries.” JR tried to reassure.

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” Michael asked.

“It’s nothing pop, just drop it.”

“No, it’s obviously something, what is going on?” Michael asked.  He looked at his daughter and noticed that something besides Brian had her upset.   He knew her she was just like him.

“What’s the matter sweetheart?” he asked.

“Nothing, where’s Dizzy?” JR asked calling her little sister by the name she called her.

When she said that Justin couldn’t hold back his tears anymore, everything had started because of what he had said to their daughter.

“IT was terrible.   We all said things that we shouldn’t have said.” He sobbed into Deb’s shoulder.

“It’s alright sweetheart, we’ll find him.” Deb tried to soothe him.   She would be his mother for now, no one wanted to call Jen due to the fact that her doctor didn’t want her to be upset.

 

Jennifer just couldn’t stop looking at him.   He was so adorable, and he had brown hair.   That was going to be different, it was like Tucker’s but she had already imagined a little girl with strawberry blonde hair like Molly.   This was a big surprise, and she hadn’t even picked out a name for a little boy yet, but she knew the perfect one.   She looked up and saw her son’s namesake staring at the little drops of blood on the floor.  Her son had a big head, most of tore a little something on the way out but everything was fine.   He was perfect.

“You okay sweetheart?” she asked Brian who had gone silent.

Brian couldn’t believe it.   He had delivered a baby.   All of the things that had happened today he never thought that it was going to end with him delivering his partner’s brother.   He was so adorable, didn’t look a think like Justin, but he did look like Tucker so apparently Justin had gotten his looks from his father.   The thought of that made him sick to his stomach so he decided not to dwell on it.

“Do you mind?” he heard Jennifer say realizing that he wasn’t paying attention to her he turned towards her.  

Once again he got a flash of Lindsay covered in all that blood at Britin.   He could feel the vomit trying to come up and he swallowed hard to push it down.   “Mind what? He asked.

“I want to call him Brian.   In the beginning if I had a boy I wanted to name him Tucker but then Tucker told me about how in school he was known as Tucker the Fucker for the longest time so we didn’t want anything like that to happen to our son so could I Brian.   You helped me so much tonight can I call him Brian?”

“You sure, I’m not much of anything anymore you want that kid growing up knowing he was name after a nut job?” Brian asked seriously.

“Oh come here honey.” She gesture for him to come closer.   She was so happy when he came closer and she took him in her arms and hugged him.   She could hear by the way he was breathing that he was doing his best not to cry.    “Everything is going to be alright, and my son loves you so much.   Tucker will be here soon and I’ll make sure you get back to Justin, you shouldn’t be driving.

Brian tensed. “I’m not going back there, he doesn’t want me!” Brian jumped to his feet and began pacing in front of Jennifer.

“Honey you had a fight, that’s what the best of couples do, the two of you will talk and you’ll make up.   You just need a little help and my son needs to realize that it’s up to him as your partner to give you that support you need.  I’m here as well, and Deb and Tucker.  All of us sweetie.

Brian saw the lights come into view shining on the kitchen window and he began to panic.  He wasn’t going back.   That’s why he had taken the Vette he had to get out of town.

“Oh there’s Tucker right there, I’ll get him to run you home on the way to the hospital.” Jennifer said as she looked down at little Brian that she held in her arms.   Brian Kinney had just helped her deliver her baby.   Oh how the world changes.   She couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face when she thought that.   She was shocked when she looked up and found herself alone in the kitchen.

“Brian.” She called out but she wouldn’t get an answer he was long gone.

 

Have you ever had one of those days where everything started out on the right foot?   You were happy, you had the family, the person you loved, and there was nothing that could possibly go wrong.   Everything was sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, and then in a blink of an eye everything went to shit.   That’s what’s happening now.     I said the wrong words, I did the wrong things, and now the man I love is gone.   He could be dead for all I know, or out there in the big old world afraid and scared.   God I’d give anything to get back the past couple of hours.   Oh how he wish he could just turn back time and change everything.

 

“Your mom had her baby!” JR shouted as she came into Justin’s bedroom.

“She did, is everything okay?” Justin asked.  His mom was a few weeks early and he knew that she needed to avoid stress that’s why he hadn’t called her.   Then he thought about when they drug him in here and put him to bed, Brendan gave him something to make him sleep, and he wasn’t to be woken up unless they heard something about Brian.   “What about Brian?” he asked.

“That’s the great part.   Brian helped your mom deliver her baby, she named him Brian can you believe that.   She said he left and she figured he’d come back here, it seemed like this was where he was coming.”

“But he didn’t!   It’s nearly morning.” Justin shouted.

“I know.  Grandpa Carl is gone out himself now to help with the search; they just thought you should know that he hadn’t been wandering around all this time.  He made it to your mom’s house in one piece and he left the car there.

“Thanks JR.” Justin said softer.  He realized that none of this was the poor girl’s fault he was the one that had ruined everything by pretty much telling Brian he was nothing an he didn’t want him.   He had made this bed he could lie in it like a big boy.

“I’m sorry JR, thanks for letting me know.  I’m going to call my mom and then I’ll be downstairs.   Everyone still here?” he asked.

“Of course J, no one is going to leave you when you need us.   Take your time, it’s going to be alright.” She said as she gave him a hug and left the room.

She had left the room door opened and a fresh from a very good night’s sleep Izzy walked her way in and climbed up on the bed with him.   She gave him a hug and a morning cuddle.

“Did you have a goodnight’s rest sweetheart.” He asked.

“Yes, where’s daddy?   I wanted to tell him I was sorry and I have the two quarter’s for the swear jar.” She showed them to Justin.

“You keep them; you can give them to him soon.” Justin lied and she gave her one more cuddle hoping that he had not lied.

 

Lindsay parked the car right outside the gate of her favorite park.   She looked up at the sky and watched as the sun showed it’s weary had announcing a new day was approaching.   She had made her family wait long enough, and she would go back and tell them she was sorry and she’d pack and she’d go away.   She knew where she needed to be, and after talking to John’s associated she knew that it was so right, she needed in house therapy.   It was just going to be hard leaving Izzy.   The first time she had never seen her really, the house had burned down and Brian had come and she was in labor.   He was about to help her but he heard Daphne and went to her instead.   By the time he got back to her she was being put on the ambulance and he was angry at the hospital.   He only let her hold her and then she was taken and she never saw her again.   Now she was her Izzy, and she looked just like her.   She looked like Brian too; there was no doubt in her mind that he was the father.   Neither one of them wanted to know though; she knew they had to know.   She was heading towards her favorite bench and something stopped her in her tracks.   Or should she say someone.

“Brian what are you doing here?” she asked as she approached him she stopped dead in her tracks when he saw that she had blood on him.

“It’s not my blood.” He answered knowing that she probably was thinking god only knows what about him.

“Brian it’s cold, what are you doing out here?  Have you been out here all night?” she asked as she took a seat beside him.

“Remember when we use to come here, back when we were an us?” he asked ignoring her question.

“Yea you told me it was your favorite park.   That you use to come here a lot as a kid, that you would bring Gus here.” She stated trying to get a good look at him.   Also trying to get her cellphone out without him seeing.

“Things were so simpler then?   It should’ve always remained just you and me.   It can be that way now you know.  You, Me, Gus and Izzy, we could be one big happy family.” He said as he came closer touching her on her thigh.

“Brian I did to you.   I’m so sorry.   It was wrong.   I’m going to be leaving to go and get some help soon and then I’ll come back and we can get back to how we use to be.” She said moving a little away from him and pressing 2 on her phone.

 

Gus was standing next to Melanie when his phone rang.  He looked at the name and saw that it was his mother.  “It’s mom, he told everyone and pressed  the talk button.   “Hello.” He answered.   He was shocked when he didn’t hear his mom talking about he heard Brian.   She had found him.

“She found him!” he shouted as he put the phone call on speaker.

 

“I’m sure if you go back and talk to Justin things will get better.” She tried to coach him into wanting to go home.   She wanted everyone on the end to know that one she didn’t kidnap him and two she was trying to bring him home.

“I don’t want too, I’m tired.    I deliver a baby tonight, and I had a fit.   I thinks that’s what I had, I was confused and I fell I hurt my head.” He pointed out and he ran his hand threw his hair and pulled back with a blood drenched finger.

“Oh god Brian you hit your head!” she shrieked taking him into her arms not caring if it was wrong.   He needed some kind of attention.   She wasn’t doing anything wrong, the ones on the phone had to know that.

“Where are you going again?” he asked almost confused.  He looked around and couldn’t remember what he was doing in the park, but Lindsay was there.   “We come to the park?” he asked as he began to look around.

“Yea, but now we’re going to go back to my place lets go.” She lied she didn’t want him to know that she was going to take him home.   He got upset the last time she mentioned something about taking him home.

She walked towards her car and opened the back for him to climb in.   “You get in and rest your eyes, and I’ll wake you when we get there.”

“Okay.   You still love me?” Brian asked.

Lindsay really didn’t know what to say about that.   Of course she loved him, but she of all people after what she had been doing to him the past couple of months was the person he would ask that question.   What the hell had happened?   He was looking at her so broken in the backseat, he was waiting for her answer.

“Of course Brian, always have, always will.”

 

Gus and the others were completely quiet listening on the other end.   They didn’t know what to say when Lindsay said that.   A part of the room was happy that she said that and another part of the room all got weird looks on their faces.   They didn’t know what was going to happen next, but they did know that Carl was tracing the call on the other end.    They heard Lindsay whisper just rest your eyes and they’ll be there in a minute.

“Is there anyone listening?” Lindsay whispered into the receiver.

“Yea mom, we’re listening.” Gus stated happy that she was on the right side of the law right now.

“I just said that because he looked so said when he asked.   I do love him though Gus but don’t worry I’m going to bring him home.”

“No mom don’t, you said he hit his head.    Don’t let him go to sleep, and we’ll meet you at Pittsburgh General.”

“Okay, I’ll see you guys there.” She hung up.

Everyone in the room took a sigh of relief.   Things were finally going to be okay.   Weren’t they?

 

 

  


 


	17. Chapter 17

Resistance is Futile

 

Lindsay stopped the car round the corner from Pittsburgh General.   Brian had been talking to her the whole time and he hadn’t noticed where they were heading and she didn’t want to spook him.   He was frightened.   He kept babbling about breaking Justin’s mother and it being his third strike and that he was going to go away.

 

“Brian what are you talking about?” she asked when she pulled over and got in the back with him.   She was careful to keep her distance.   She didn’t know what he was comfortable with when it came to her, hell he didn’t know what he was comfortable with.

 

“We had a deal; three strikes and you’re out.   I fought that guy at work and I hurt Peanut’s feelings.   She hates me now, I told her I wasn’t her daddy, and she was all I had left.   I’m nothing now.”

 

“Brian you can’t think that about yourself, you are something.   You’re still the same person you’ve always been.”

 

“No I’m not; you’d never have tried what you did if I were me.   You did it because I’m stupid, and you can just take it.   Is that why we stopped, do you wanna take it now.” He asked reaching for his zipper.

 

“Oh God Brian no!” she shouted.   She flinched when he covered his ears and began to rock back and forth.   She was beginning to be scared.   He had hit his head, what if he had damaged himself more.

 

“Brian I’m not going to hurt you.”

 

“Yes you are, you want it, here I won’t even scream.”  He unzipped himself completely and went to remove himself from his pants.

 

“No!    Come on we’re going to get you checked out.” Lindsay reached for his hand and that’s when he realized where they were.

 

“What are we doing here?” Brian asked confused.

 

“We are going to let the doctors check you out Brian you are acting even odder and then Justin will come and take you home.” She said calmly.

 

“I’m not going back there!    I thought you were my friend but you can’t be trusted, first you molest me and now you bring me here, I can’t trust you.” He shoved her into the car and took off across the street.    Lindsay tried to catch him but was too fast, he was out of sight.    All she thought to herself was that they were going to be mad at her because of this, it really wasn’t her fault.

 

 

 

“She should be here by now!” Justin shouted as they all waited at the hospital.

 

“You heard how he was Justin, she was going to have to trick him to get him here, and we still don’t know how comfortable she is around him.   I surely wish that you all would have thought to tell me what was going on.   I am a doctor I could have helped.” Brendan stated hurt.  He had given up a good job to stay in the Pitts and help Brian but no one was telling him anything _they_ were lying on John and if he had learned one thing tonight he had learned that John was too close to this to do any good.

 

“It’s my fault Brendan.   I thought that I could help Brian, and he had told me in confidence, I didn’t tell Justin I don’t know how he found out.   You know Brian, he’s proud out of all the things that could have happened to him he wouldn’t have wanted anyone to know that happened, or that Lindsay was the one to do it.”

 

“Yea so we’re going to just sit around and wait for her to bring him in, what are you people thinking she could be doing god knows what to my baby!” Deb shouted.

 

“You heard her on the phone; she’s not going to hurt him.   She wants help.” Gus stated.  He would not have them talking about his mother that way.   Of course he himself had just thrown her out like yesterday’s garbage but she was trying to help and he was not going to let anyone belittle what she was trying to do.   She was trying to do the right thing.   Maybe she could be helped.

 

 

 

He could’ve run he knew that, every once in his body was telling him to continue to run, but then Lindsay would get in trouble.  No, he knew what had to happen.   He had to go in there and be the person that everyone wanted him to be.   All he really wanted to do was sleep, but his head hurt to much for that.   He had run from Lindsay and that was wrong and then when he got away from her he realized that he didn’t really know where he was going, he didn’t have any money.   So he went up to the back entrance of the hospital and entered through the emergency room.  

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

The New Arrival

 

“Has he said anything?” Debbie asked as she handed Justin a cup of coffee as they sat in the ER waiting room.

 

“No, they think he might have a concussion, he took a bad spill somewhere but he doesn’t know where he was when he did it.   He had to get seven stitches in head and five in his knee.   He had just been running, that’s what John said that he had to get away.  I don’t know, he won’t talk to me.   I just want to apologize Deb; I just want to tell him how sorry I am.” Justin cried into her shoulder.

 

“It’s going to be okay sweetheart, we haven’t been around and for that I’m sorry, from now on you won’t have to bare this burden alone.”

 

“No!   Don’t ever say that, he’s not a burden that’s the problem he think he is.   He’s not he’s Brian and I should have showed him that I loved him but it all stops now no more pretending that he’s different.   He’s not, he’s still there and he wants me to remember that.” Justin stated and he left the waiting room to go out and get a smoke.

 

 

 

“So you don’t know how you hit your head, did someone hit you Bri?” John asked.

 

“No.”

 

“No, no one hit you or no you don’t know.”

 

“I don’t can I go home now.” Brian asked desperately.

 

“No the doctor’s wanted to keep you overnight for observation.

 

“You’re a doctor and you stay at my house, just tell them that you’ll take care of me and let me go home now! He asked knocking the pitcher from off the table by his bed.

 

“Hold it now, that’s what’s happening Brian you can’t control your temper and it’s making you a lot more confused it’s not healthy.”

 

“Where’s Izzy, is she here?” Brian asked changing the subject.

 

“Yea she’s here but I don’t think you should see her right now.”

 

“Why not?   I need to apologize.   I hurt her feelings, and she’s all I have left.” Brian stated closing his eyes; he caught himself before he drifted off.

 

“That’s why, you are exhausted you know that you have been running around for like 24 hours and it’s time that you rest.” John stated as a nurse came in,

 

“What are you doing?” Brian asked alarmed.

 

“It’s for the best, you have been up all night and you need rest.   You’re at a hospital so we can monitor you but you need sleep.” He stated as she passed him the needle.

 

“No please!” Brian said panicked as he tried to get up from the bed.

 

“I’m so sorry, Kate could you help me.” John whispered and Kate came and helped him hold down Brian as he administered the shot.   His body completely went limp.

 

“Will he be alright doctor?” she asked.

 

“Yea, he’s been up 24 hours he needed this more than anything else.   Let me know if there’s any change.” he left the room.

 

 

 

“So you’re leaving now?” Gus as Lindsay as they stood in the hospital’s parking lot.

 

“Yea, I’ll call you when I get there, but I think it’s best if I go now while all the attention is where it needs to be on Brian.” She stated as she nervously looked down at her feet.

 

“I do love you; you know that right I just think that you shouldn’t have come home yet.   You were doing well there I understand why you came but I don’t think you should’ve yet.”

 

“Maybe, I do know what I did to your dad was wrong, and then when we were in the car the way he was acting it made me sick to my stomach.   I’m glad he came in on his own; I was scared to death when he jumped from my car.   I thought that you all would blame me and I didn’t want to have to deal with that.   I do have to talk to you about something else though.” Lindsay said seriously.

 

“What?” Gus asked confused.

 

“He’s still there you know.   Under the scared, confused, sometimes hyperactive kid it’s still Brian.   I think that’s what everyone is forgetting and treating him like someone who is sick.   He’s not sick, this is just who he is now.   I better go.  Tell your mother, tell her I’m sorry and I couldn’t say goodbye to her because it’s not goodbye it’s see you later.”   She got in her car and drove away.

 

 

 

Justin must’ve smoked three cigarettes, but he wasn’t ready to go back in and face Brian.   How could he apologize for everything that he had said?   He was the cause of all of this; he had said those horrible things and that made him leave the house.   He should have never done that knowing that Brian was already upset because of that bastard from work.   He was so stupid sometimes.

 

“No you’re not.” A voice from his left spoke.

 

“Molly!” he shrieked hugging her tightly.   “My god Molly, you’re so; I mean you’re so pregnant.” He said in disbelief.

 

“Well thanks little brother, I can’t believe all of this is going down and I didn’t get one phone call from any of you.” She said in disbelief.

 

“When I thought about calling you John was here, and well I know about your history so I didn’t think that you two could be in the same room together.”

 

“Oh John’s here?    Of course he’s here Brian has become a medical marvel so of course he’s here to save the world.” She said with distaste.

 

“So the two of you won’t be able to be in the same room again, and when did this happen to you?” he asked this was a good distraction from thinking of Brian.

 

“Well of course the two of us can be in the same room together, and about eight months ago, I couldn’t call mom and tell her.   Well actually I picked up the telephone to tell her that I was and she told me she was.   Wow!    I still can’t wrap my head around she and Tucker doing it, now he got her knocked up that was leaving a nasty taste in my mouth.” She said with a shudder.

 

“OH mollusk, I’m so glad you’re here.” He said giving her another a hug.

 

“Well come on time to go in, I need to see Izzy and go upstairs to see my little brother, and she named him Brian.   I bet he nearly had a heart attack when he found that out.”

 

“He doesn’t know.   He’s all jumbled they say he has a concussion which isn’t good right now I hope he’s resting.”

 

“Well let’s go inside and find our family.” She said taking his arm.

 

 

 

Brian could hear the soft cries before he opened his eyes.   A part of him wanting to keep his eyes shut, and another part knew that he had to open his eyes because he was the reason for the tears.   He was even groggier now than before that bitch of a nurse gave him the shot.   Waking up was always the worst.

 

When he managed to clear his mind and open his eyes, a smaller version of his eyes were staring back at him.

 

“I’m sorry.” She cried.

 

“No, Peanut it was me.   Daddy didn’t mean it, you know that right.   I didn’t mean it I love you so much and you’ll always be my Peanut.” He said pulling her closer.

 

“Really, so you didn’t mean what you said, I’m still yours and you’re not mad about the swearing.” She asked hopefully.

 

‘Well of course you’re still my Peanut, and I’m not mad about the swearing this time around but next time you will put the money in the jar.

 

“Okay, so you gonna come home now?” she asked.

 

“No they want me to stay here tonight but I’ll be home bright early in the morning.   Do they know where you are?” she Brian asked once he notices that she was there by herself.

 

“No Grandma Deb and Grandpa were talking and I just slipped away when they weren’t paying any attention to me.”

 

“Well you shouldn’t do that, but you can stay here until they find you.   Come on lets go back to sleep.  He rolled over and gave her little more room, and they both were asleep in a matter of minutes.

 

 

 

Justin and Molly entered the Maternity Ward and went straight to the big window to stare at the babies.   Justin remembered the last time he looked through a window like this; it was on another night that was hectic.   The night that Izzy was born, she was so small and they weren’t sure if she was going to live or die.   That he was about five years ago and now she was a strong little girl, just like her father.   Now he was staring through this glass at his little brother Brian.   He still couldn’t believe that she named him that.

 

“There he is right there.” Molly said pointing to a huge baby at the end.

 

“Wow, he so big, no wonder there was tearing do you see the size of that kids head.” Justin stated.

 

“That’s what scared Brian right, all the blood.   That’s what they said, that he thought he broke her.   How bad has it been Justin?”

 

“It’s been bad, but it’s had good moments too.   All just went straight to shit after Brian went to work yesterday and this guy was there hassling Eddie.   Brian took up for him but it triggered and episode.   Then I said some things that I shouldn’t have said.  Oh it was awful Molly.” Justin stated trying not to cry.

 

Molly took her brother in her arms again.   He really did love Brian.    There love was a love that she didn’t understand well.   They loved each other one moment and then hated each other the next, oh who was she joking, she knew that kind of love she knew it too well.

 

“Hey who told you to come here anyways?” Justin asked again.

 

“Let’s go see mom.” She replied avoiding his question.

 

 

 

John needed sleep, that’s what he needed the most.   He wanted to close his eyes and sleep for a month, but he couldn’t.   Everyone looked to him for answers, he had dropped everything and come to the Pitts, and he had to be there for Brian.   No one asked about his life, if he had news or anything person.   No his job was to fix Brian, but he couldn’t fix someone who didn’t even realize they weren’t broken.   The thing is that he just can’t fix Brian, he can’t fix him when there’s so much under the surface that hasn’t been tap into.   Not to mention Lindsay was molesting him, and Justin still doesn’t know the full story of the prom.   That was before he even liked Brian and he knew everything, how could someone not tell Justin?   It was so complicated at times he couldn’t even see straight sometimes.

 

“Looks like you need this honey.” Emmett stated handing him a cup of coffee just the way he liked it.

 

“Thanks Em, how long have you been here?”

 

“Oh I came about an hour ago, Teddy and I rode over once they found him, or well once he found us.   It’s bad isn’t it?    I know I’ve been sort of avoiding him but I’ve been busy.   It’s the best time of year for weddings and birthdays.   It’s nothing personal, I saw him the night of his welcome home party.  Poor thing looked like he was afraid of own shadow, it was the Brian I hadn’t seen in a long time.   He and I have our own secrets you know?” Emmett stated rubbing John thigh.

 

“Yea, I know.   I don’t know I didn’t think it was this bad Em, I thought I could just come down and fix him.   I thought it was going to be something simple and I don’t think I’m ready for this.  I shouldn’t have come.   I should’ve let the doctors here work out what needed to be done.”

 

“No don’t you go doubting yourself, Brian has come a long way and you said it yourself that it was events that took place that caused this little set back, do you honestly think that you won’t be able to reach  him?” Emmett asked.

 

“Brian has always had a way to fool a person.  He could smile in your face and on the inside be dying.   I don’t know if he’ll let me reach him.  He knows what Gus wants and of course what Justin wants but I don’t think it coincide with what he wants, but he’ll smile in our faces and show us what we want.   I hope I can reach him. “

 

“You’ll get there sweetie, so on another subject why haven’t you come by?” Emmett asked giving him best seductive eyes.”

 

“Oh Em, what we had was great and I loved it but I’m with someone now.” He stated removing Emmett’s hand from his thigh.

 

“Oh honey that’s fantastic, so you have someone special now, really special?” Emmett asked now wanting all the gossip.

 

“Oh yea Em, we’re married.    I haven’t told anyone yet though so let it be our little secret.” He asked with a smile.

 

“Well I’ll admit you have me peaked now, how long have you two been married and when will we meet her?”

 

“Soon, when things calm down a bit more, I’m going to check on Brian and then I’m going to head back to the house.” John stated and he left Emmett sitting there wondering who had claimed his heart.   Just like his uncle and cousin you had to climb through a lot of the bad to get to the good.

 

 

 

Justin couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face when he was about to enter Brian’s room.   Izzy had found a way in there and now they were snuggled against each other.   This was what was important, his family.   He needed this and he loved this, he didn’t care if things never got back like they should be Brian was living and breathing in front of him and he knew now that the first step to his recovery is too except him for who he was now and stop living in the past.   He could do this.   He felt his phone vibrate and looked down at the name.  “Fuck!” he thought to himself.

 

 

 

“He’s beautiful.” Molly spoke to her mother when she handed her back Little Brian.

 

“Oh sweetheart, you should’ve been there, I wouldn’t have been able to have him without Brian, he was so patient not to mention scared out of his mind, but he was there when I needed him.   How is he, have you seen him?”

 

“Not yet, I went down but John was around so I decided to keep my distance.”

 

“You do understand that’s why we didn’t tell you right, I was going to call you and then John showed up and I knew that you could barely be around him after what he had done to you that I knew calling you would be a mistake.”

 

“I understand mom it’s fine, I’ll just avoid John it’ll be easy.”

 

“You do realize that I’m giving you the courtesy of pretending that I don’t see that you are about to pop yourself, I’m just waiting for you to explain yourself.”

 

“Mother I doubt me explaining the birds and the bees to you in necessary considering that you are about to breast feed my brother.”

 

“Don’t get cocky, I mean I haven’t seen you in over a year and you keep telling me that you’re studying the law, well baby making has nothing to do with the law.”

 

“Mom everything is fine.   Allison will be born in a couple of weeks, and the father and I are happy together.”

 

“How happy, I don’t want it to be like your father and I, we got pregnant with Justin so soon and we thought we were what each other wanted but I later learned that he was not a good man Molly, please tell me you have a good man.” Jennifer hoped.

 

“He’s the best thing I could ever find mom, and his family just loves me.   You’re going to love them too.” Molly did her best to reassure her mother.

 

“When do you think I’ll get to meet him and the rest of his family.”

 

“Soon, when all of this dies down with Brian and you can slip or away or I can have him come up.   It’ll be perfect mom.   It’s kind of funny, I just realized that my daughter and your son will be growing up together that’s just so mad.” She laughed.

 

“Mad indeed.” Her mom stated looking down at the little one suckling her breasts

 

 

 

 

 

Things have been going great since Brian had his moment at the hospital.   After he came back he decided that he needed to go to the center to learn more, and his therapists are very proud of his progress.  Sadly, since the incident with Jeremiah Brian has refused to go back to work.   I’m upset about that, but John says to take the good with the bad.  I’ll settle for it, but I’m still afraid.  I have to leave for New York in two days, what will happen then?   Could Brian, Gus, and Izzy survive in a house without him?    That was the question.

 

 

 

“Why are you so upset about?” Christina asked a worried Gus as she helped him tie his tie. 

 

“I don’t know, my dad has obviously turned into a pod person and I seemed to be the only person who has figured that out.   My dad is about to leave for New York in two days and I’m going to have hold up the fort, me I’m going to have to take care of everyone.   Then there’s what’s about to happen in few hours.   Our families are going to collide in what is obviously going to be the dinner from hell but you have a smile on your face.   I have 911 already dialed on my cell for when my dad jumps across the table and give your uncle a fork to the neck.” He explained animatedly.

 

“A fork to the neck, what movie have you been watching?   You’re dad has been a pussycat since the excitement after Little Brian was born.   He even told me he was looking forward to seeing Chris again.”

 

“When did he tell you that?” Gus asked alarmed.

 

“I don’t know a few days ago when he was baking the cookies.”

 

“Baking cookies, gardening, all this psychotic smiles he’s picked up.   It’s coming, it’s coming and it’s going to be bad.” Gus replied as if he was frightened.

 

“What?” she played along.

 

“The meltdown, when he totally snaps and massacres all, I’ve been looking up people who suffer from his injury on the internet and they say that sometimes when there is a complete 180 in their personality that they totally snap and kill everyone around them.   Now we are going to go and break bread across from a person who was public enemy number 1 my whole childhood.   Let’s not go, lets act as if we’re going to go and then go somewhere secluded and come back after the massacre.” Gus said taking her hand.

 

“Do you know how adorable you are when your overly dramatic?” Christina asked giving him a kiss on the lips.

 

“Oh am i?” he asked.

 

“Yes and you worry too much, your father is about to leave the state for a week and leave you in charge of your little sister who does whatever you tell her and your father who sleeps all the time, and instead of thinking of the things that we can do together and to each other, you are having a meltdown about him burning down the house, and I guess killing my uncle at dinner.  Only you, just another reason I love you.” She stated standing on her tippy toes to kiss him on the forehead.   “So on another note, are you nervous?

 

“Why would I be nervous, I just have to go out there in front of all of our peers and say a speech about nothing really, just how happy I am about learning?   Remind me again why I agreed not to graduate a year early?”

 

“Because I’m here and you can’t be without me one single minute.” She smiled.

 

“No, I really can’t.   Come on the quicker this is over the faster we can get to the dinner of death.” They both exited his bedroom.

 

 

 

Jennifer Taylor must’ve changed her son’s outfit for the fourth time.   She wanted him to look special when she went and watch her grandson give a speech.   It was funny, for the longest time she didn’t know really what she was supposed to think of Gus as but after the fire he would come to her and call her grandma and well how she could turn away from that.   A part of her wanted to tell him that she was only eleven years older than his father but Gus just had a way on weaseling into her heart and well she was glad that he found his way there.   So now she was finding the perfect outfit to go and meet Big Brian and her son, but she also trying to drown out the shouting of her daughter on the telephone.   She wondered if it was her mystery man that she shouted with.

 

 

 

Brian looked at himself in the mirror and tried to smile.  He had on one of his favorite suits, and a nice pair of glasses, he looked like himself, too bad he didn’t feel that way.   He could do this though, he had been practicing what the therapists said and he hadn’t had any outbursts since the day Brian was born and Justin was satisfied.   He would smile at him, and sometimes he held his hand, they had even managed to have sex which was nice but awkward.   Everything was going according to his plan.   They would never suspect what was about to happen.  That was good, only a few days now he thought, he took a list from under his mattress and check an item off a list before hiding it as Justin entered the room.

 

“You’re ready.” Justin said in relief.

 

“Yes, I’ve checked my list twice I’ve done it all, even took a shower with water.” Brian smiled happily at Justin.

 

“I know, I can smell your shampoo. Justin stated as he took a cloth from their dresser and wiped the shampoo from out of Brian’s left ear.   “Look at you, I’ve always loved this suit.”

 

“I remember when you brought it for me, on my birthday.” Brian smiled as he recalled the event.

 

“Yea you were turning 40 and you wrote your obituary but look here you are practically fifty.”

 

“I know not even a street sweeper could kill me.   You ready to go?” Brian asked ready to get this over with, he was going to be in an auditorium surrounded by people.   He still didn’t like crowds.

 

“Just gotta get Izzy, and track down John he slipped off somewhere to have a conversation.

 

“Oh right, probably talking to his wife again.’ Brian stated.

 

“Yea okay.” Justin agreed not wanting to tell Brian that John was not married.

 

 

 

“I don’t think now is the right time.” John spoke into the phone.

 

“No I’m not ashamed of you don’t be ridiculous you know I would love for you to be here by my side, there’s just too much going on.” He tried to explain.

 

“Well fine, think that!” he shouted and he hung up the phone.

 

“Trouble in paradise?” Brian asked as he came around when John closed his phone.

 

“No Uncle Bri, everything is already, we leaving now?” he asked wanting to leave and forget about the horrible argument he had just had with his wife.

 

“Yea, we’re ready to go.

 

 

 

Gus stood at the podium and delivered his speech immaculately.   He was nervous when he started but then he looked out in the audience and couldn’t help but smile at all the people who were there for him.  It was just a little speech in a program that really didn’t mean much but everyone came, but then he thought of his mother, who could be there if she hadn’t done what she’d done.   She told him she was proud though, so at least he had that to hold on too.   It didn’t even bother him much when he looked into the audience and at one point it looked like his father was going to fall asleep and then later he and his little sister were battling in some sort of evil face making contest.   It didn’t bother him at all, because it was normal.   All he had to do now was make it through the dinner now that was going to be the problem.

 

Christina couldn’t help but smile as she watched Gus deliver his speech.   That was her boyfriend giving that speech.   It really didn’t make much since to her that she could be this deeply in love with someone.  Sure he had a lot of emotional problems, a mom in the nuthouse, a father with a huge mental problem, and so much more baggage, yet somehow she couldn’t help but see what around the next corner with him.   He was amazing, and eventhough they still had another year of high school together, she knew for a fact that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.   She didn’t care that people thought they were too young to be in love, it was in the genes.   Gus’ father found true love with someone there age, and they were still together, so they had to know what love was.   Love was Gus, her life with Gus.

 

Justin could not wait for this thing to end.   The first half was spent nudging Brian who decided that he wanted to nod off because let’s face it, this was one of the most boring things he had been to in his life.   If he hadn’t slept earlier in the day he probably would be asleep right along with Brian.  He knew that Brian was tired because of his medication, and he hated the “Bless him” looks that he got from folks when Brian’s head had hit his shoulder the first time.    In any normal case, people would be appalled that a man of Brian’s age was sitting in the auditorium asleep, but since everyone knew what had happened to Brian it was just a miracle that he was sitting there with his brains still in his head.   That was another thing, time they arrived everyone were pointing and making comments about Brian.   I thought it was going to make him go nuts, but he didn’t say a word.  He’s probably saving for dinner.  Dinner with Chris Hobbs, I had to out of my mind to think this would be normal.

 

Molly Taylor was not looking at John Kinney.   She was not, every time he glanced up and caught her looking he would give her that Kinney smirk.   “Damn that man.” She thought.   Why did he have to be so sexy?   That was the problem.   She remembered when her mother would talk about the spell that Brian obviously had on Justin when he was younger.   How she knew that he was charming and he had seduced him, back then she didn’t know what seduce meant and then when she did find out what it meant she didn’t think it was true, but damn it was.   The Kinney men had a way of making you feel boneless.   You tried to resist, and tell them no but in the end you would fall, and you would fall hard.  “Damn it he saw me again!” she thought.   Eventhough she knew it was wrong of her she couldn’t keep the smirk off of her face.

 

Brian really couldn’t explain what he was feeling.   Proud was one thing, Gus was an intelligent young man and it made him proud to be able to say that he was half of him.   Well the old him, the man that he was now he knew that Gus was ashamed of.   OF course he ate breakfast with him every morning, and now they were even working on a new piece of their train, well more like Gus was building it but he let me pass him pieces so I will feel important.   Shame, he knew that what was what he felt when he saw him, and apart of him didn’t want him to be there today but he didn’t have the heart to tell him not to come.   Of course he wouldn’t tell him not to come, he had signed a check and brought him a new suit, and was going to pay for dinner after this, at least in some places he was still smart enough to manage things.   He could manage his money so that was a good thing, it would make his plan better because he needed money for what was going to happen.   No one would see it coming but it’s for the best right.   Izzy keeps making faces, and I’m trying my best not to make them back at her.  It’s inappropriate, I’m an adult.   I have to listen to the speeches and then watch each pimpled face kid get there certificate even after Gus’ name is called we can’t even leave.   God, I think I might have dozed off and drooled on myself, no biggie everyone here is just amazed that I can sit upright.   This time last year if I would have come to something like this they’d say “Wow there’s Brian Kinney, he’s the CED of a multimillion dollar company, and hear he’s got a nice cock.”   Now they say “There’s Brian Kinney, you know I drove by where he’s brains got smashed the other day, there’s still a huge stain in the street.   Damn he looks good for a tard.   Oh what a difference a year makes.   What a difference indeed.

 

John realized now why he hated these kind of things.   Sitting in these uncomfortable chairs while some ugly kid stood and talked about how much they loved learning and what they wanted to do when they grew up, when you knew for sure that half of them that stood up there and spoke of big dreams and big futures would end up being your future dead bodies are criminals.   Only half the kids here had a chance of making something of themselves and he had no doubt that Gus was one of them.   He had a good head on his shoulders and he had good role models like Justin and Brian, and he hoped him.   Brian wasn’t making the progress that he hoped.   Sure he would go to the classes every day and he would make his lists and check them twice.   If you looked at it like that he was making a remarkable recovery, and that’s how most people saw it.   Not him though, he saw the in between and it was not pretty.   Brian would go through the motions do what everyone expected of him, but when he was alone on his own when he could do anything that he wanted he would often catch him just looking into space, or as if he was about to cry.   His attention span was still pretty short, and he could easily get distracted by anything and then there was Izzy.   He knew that it was wrong to say that Brian was spending to much time with Izzy, really how could you say something like that.   She’s his daughter and before all of this happened they were as thick as thieves but now Izzy was a distraction.   Brian knew that Izzy would love him no matter what and you know what that’s how it should be, but he was stooping to her level and he was staying there, as long as she was satisfied and entertained then he was good.   He hoped that Justin left in the next few days that he could help Brian to get back to the strong person that he had become before the “incident” that everyone was avoiding.   It was almost a full psychotic break, and he still hasn’t told anyone where he was when he bumped his head and how he did so.   He said that he didn’t remember which is possible considering that he was concussed and the damage that’s already done, but he knew his uncle he knew he remembered.    When he was alone he would get that look in his eye, the look of remembering something, something that was not pretty, and something that he didn’t need on top of everything else.   He also had to talk to him about Lindsay.   She was gone now, but what she did to him was not right, and he knew that it had a deeper effect on him then he was letting on.   That was always the problem he kept things hidden.    So that’s what he had to do now.   He had to get Brian to open up about what happened when he bumped his head, talk about Lindsay, stop using Izzy as a security blanket, be more than a pod person, oh and not to mention make up with the wife and try to stop making eyes at Molly.   Why did she have to look so hot in that maternity dress?   She knew what she was doing.   Damn is thing ever going to end?    Then again considering what’s about to happen next, could it last forever.

 

 

 

Molly had never been so happy in her life to hear them say that it was over.   That was one thing that she hated about being so pregnant her daughter constantly laid against her bladder causing her to have to pee at least seventy times a day.  Okay maybe that was a drastic observation but you know what she meant.   She was heading back towards her mother when someone grabbed her and pushed her into a closet.   She was about to protest when she opened her eyes and saw that it was John.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked as she fiddled to find the doorknob.

 

“I was watching you during the ceremony, I think you knew that, that’s why you wore this dress, I’ve always loved you in pink.” He smiled at her.   That Kinney smile that she loved.

 

“Why Dr. Marlowe are you hitting on me?   A pregnant married woman in the closet of a high school, really do you have no shame.” She asked getting a little closer.

 

“It’s Dr. Kinney, I told you I went back to my mother’s maiden name for professional reasons, and yes I think I am hitting on a pregnant woman in a janitor’s closet the question is what are you going to do about it?”

 

“I could scream, call for my husband he’s here you know, he’s strong and I don’t think he would be too fond of you touching me this way in a closet.” She smiled getting even closer to him.

 

“I don’t know I think he would have a thing to say about where your hands are.” He smiled as she put them around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair the way he always liked.

 

“I’ve missed this.” Then he leaned in to give her a simple kiss but it turned more passionate as she decided that she needed to examine every inch of his mouth.   She had forgotten how horny this pregnancy had made her as she reached for the fly of his pants.

 

“In a closet Molly, are you insane?” he shrieked.

 

“I haven’t had contact with my husband in about five months and he doesn’t want anyone here to know I’m his wife, so yes Dr. Marlowe you are too show your wife how much you missed her right now and maybe she’ll forget what an ass you were on the phone earlier.” She smiled kissing her husband once more.

 

“I think we have a few minutes.” He checked to make sure the lock was truly locked.   He would die if they fell out while they were handling there alone time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

Can You Say Awkward

 

John couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he helped his wife fix her clothes and get ready to go back out there with her mother.

 

“I can’t believe that just happened?” John smiled.

 

“Oh come on love we’ve done it in smaller places before, it’s all about the rush, and I’ve been itching to be scratched for a while now, so tell me again, why I can’t go out there holding your hand?” Molly wondered.

 

“Well your mother for one, I’m very fond of living and she will never forgive that you got married, and of course not that you married me.”

 

“John yo0u are allowed to make mistakes, you got counseling and it never happened again, it was only once you’re not that kind of man.” She took his hand in hers.

 

“I should’ve never put a hand to you, one time was enough and I’d die before I do it again, and you know they never believed that it only happened that once.   Besides Brian was at our wedding and I think it was one of his lost memories, well I thought it was until earlier today.”

 

“What happened today?” she asked panicked.  She wanted to tell Justin that she was now Mrs. John Marlowe, or was it Kinney now.

 

“He asked me who I was arguing with my wife.   That’s all he said though and I think Justin thought much of it.”

 

“So come on you and me, walk out there together, that way I can go to this dinner with you.” She asked hopefully.

 

“No, we’ll tell them soon, but not today.   I’ll see you later.   I’ll leave first.” He kissed her on the forehead and he exited the closet.

 

 

 

Brian took the plates and the entire cutlery off the table once more.  It just wasn’t the way that he wanted it to be.   He knew that he had set and reset it like four times now and Justin was seconds away from snatching the napkins from him but he wanted this to be right.   Chris was coming.   He was about to have a nice dinner with Chris Hobbs.   Oh this was going to be fun.   He could stop the giddy feeling that the felt.

 

Justin was scared.   That was the only feeling for it.   Brian danced around table like a madman and he fore one was more than shocked when Brian told him that he had cancelled their reservations at the nice restaurant and had opted to cook dinner himself.   Brian was a great cook, and he had been using the cooking as part of a therapeutic exercise, but did he really this Chris was going to eat his food?   I sure as hell wouldn’t if I were him.

 

“I can’t do this, I just can’t.   What the hell was I thinking?” Chris asked Christina as they sat outside Britin2.

 

“You thought that you would prove that you are man then you use to be.   This is the ultimate test.   If you make it through this you can make it through anything.” Christina said with a smile.   She was good at this she could convince someone to do just about anything.

 

“So you think that’s all it will take to convince me, that I’ll just go in there and let this happen.”

 

“I know you will, you will do this for me because you love me, but don’t worry I’ll be right there with you.   It’ll be fine. “

 

“You’re right, I can do this.” Then they exited the car.

 

 

 

Brian could hear the drive heaving from the bathroom.   Justin had went upstairs to get ready but he could tell that there was something off about him.   For him to notice it really had to be something.

 

“What’s the matter with you?” Brian asked as Justin exited the bathroom.

 

“I don’t know must be something that I ate, I think that we should cancel we need to call her before they come.   This is a bad idea we don’t want Hobbs here.” Justin stated almost panicked.

 

“I can still tell when you are lying to me, and you are lying to me, what don’t you want me to know?”

 

“I held Justin at gunpoint.   I went to his house and got him down by the train tracks and I held him at gunpoint.   I put it in his mouth and I made him apologize for what he did to me, and he did.  He apologized and he begged me not to kill him like the scum he is, and now you think that I’m supposed to have soup and salad with him, you are out your damn mind Brian.   You can do whatever you want but I’m not going down stairs.” Justin said placing his hands across his chest in deviance.

 

‘You held him a gunpoint?” Brian asked in disbelief.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Let me guess, as a psychotic fag hating fag cheered you on.   Let me guess with the gun I caught you with?   Was that where you guys were coming from that night?   Is that what you were doing?” Brian asked about to lose his temper.

 

“Brian your temper.”  Justin warned.

 

“My temper is in check, you on the other hand have got a lot of explaining to do, but my turkey’s almost done.” He smiled and left the room.

 

Justin didn’t know what just happened.   Brian was so angry and then like a lamp switch it went off, what the fuck was going on?   He knew for sure that he was upset, he had just told him that he had held someone at gunpoint of course he would be outraged.   Then it all just went off like nothing.   What the fuck?    Justin looked at the closet and pulled out a nicer shirt.  He guessed he was going to have to deal with this fucking dinner.

 

John stood at the counter trying to pay for his purchases without being seen by anyone he knew, but as always when you don’t want to be seen by anyone that’s when you’re seen by everyone.   This time it was his mother.   “God dammit.” He said under his breath.

 

“Johnny I never thought I’d see you here, when did you think that you’d find your way to give your mother a call and let her know that you are in town.”

 

“You know that I came down for Uncle Brian mom, I left you a message.  I went by and so gram.” He replied.

 

“Well ever since she went and had that stroke her mind isn’t that good, another thing she and Brian have in common now. “She laughed.   She fucking laughed and all he wanted to do was smack her in her face right then.

 

 “What do you got there?” she asked looking at the things in his cart.  He had a stuffed bear.  “Oh that’s so cute, who is that for, Izzy is not fond of stuff bears.  She prefers elephants.” Claire added.  She may have her problems with her brother but Izzy was lovable even he wasn’t.

 

“Oh, well it was just a thought.” He said putting the bear back.   He tried not to say anything when he noticed his mother was eyeing him suspiciously.  He tried not to keep looking at the bear.

 

“You idiot!   Have you got someone pregnant?” she squawked.

 

“Damn it.” He moaned.

 

 

 

It’s so fucking quiet.   That’s what’s wrecking me the most.  It’s dinnertime and the only person who has managed to say anything is Izzy and no one cares about her SpongeBob reruns.   Chris has been nice though, I hope that’s what my dad sees.   He has been very civil during this whole thing.   My dad has given him the oddest looks but hasn’t really said anything yet.   God could someone just say something or kill somebody, I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin.

 

“Thanks for inviting me here considering…..” Chris stopped he didn’t like where his trail of thought was going.

 

“Considering you tried to kill one of the people at the table and apparently that same person tried to kill you.” Brian added with a smile taking a sip of his iced tea.

 

“I…I…I wasn’t sure that you knew about that.” Chris stuttered.

 

“I assure that I in fact was not told about it until about twenty minutes before you arrived.   He was afraid that I would be angry.  I don’t know why, I mean good for him.   Too bad he didn’t succeed.” Brian said with a sneer.

 

“Dad!   Mr. Hobbs has been nothing but nice since he’s been here, please.” Gus begged.

 

“You’re right, you’re right.  I’m very sorry Christina.” He said sincerely

 

“It’s okay.” She said uncomfortably.   This dinner was making no sense at all.   Brian would be nice one minute, and mean the next.   She kept looking to Justin for answers but he just kept shrugging.

 

“So Justin, I’ve read a lot about your art you seem to be doing quite well for yourself.” Chris said trying to talk about something to take the edge off the situation.

 

“Yea I’m doing quite well; I have a new show coming up in New York in a couple of weeks.  I’m actually leaving to go and meet with Andrew Sawyer he’s a great artist.  He likes my work, but he doesn’t like how long it takes me to finish a piece.” Justin said with a frown.

 

“That’s great The St. James Alumni can’t stop talking about your progress.  I like to tell folks that I knew you when, but I don’t because well I know I was a dick to Justin.  I’m sorry and I know that’s not enough I can’t do anything to fix what I’ve done but I can try and make up for it.” He said sincerely.

 

“Chris, you and I will never be friends.  I mean that’s just something that we know right?   Christina is a lovely girl and she and Gus are happy, so if for their sake I have to put up with you from time to time then I can do that.”

 

“Good, that’s all I could ask for.” Chris smiled and actually turned his attention back to the dinner.  It was good.   He tried not to think about Brian and the fact that he might have poisoned him.   It was good and that was good.

 

“Dessert is served.” Brian smiled coming back in with a tray of homemade cupcakes.   They all were decorated white with big black one in the middle.  “Chris I made this one special for you.” Brian stated as he handed him the biggest, blackest one of the bunch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

A Shocker

When John walked in he really didn’t know what to make of the scene in front of him.   The dinner was over because the table was bare, but Justin and Gus still sat at it as if they were in some kind of daze.  Brian and Isabella were sitting in the living room watching something, she was half asleep but Brian couldn’t stop laughing.    Every time Justin would say “that’s not fucking funny” Brian would laugh even more.

“What the hell is going on?” John asked hoping to get to the bottom of this.

“The dinner was a disaster and then they left once dessert was served.” Gus said getting up from the table and heading upstairs.   You could hear the door of his bedroom once he reached it.

“What did he do?” John asked again.

“Well dinner was going good but then it was like every time things seemed to be going well then Brian would say something that would just get us back to that dance floor and baseball bats.”

“I wasn’t doing it alone, all of you were acting like that didn’t happen, he hit you with a bat and you held him at gunpoint but we all were supposed to sit here and have dinner.  Yea like that was going to happen.” Brian said sarcastically.

“He made him think he poisoned him!” shouted Justin.

“What?” John shrieked looking back at Brian.

“Who’s to say that I didn’t?   I made a lot of cupcakes and I gave him the best one, why he thought it was poisoned beats the hell out of me?”  Brian stated unable to keep his smirk off his face.

“Brian.” John asked.

“Okay I might have said that it was special just for him, and it was.”

“See what I mean.” Justin stated heading to his bedroom.

John didn’t know what to think.  Brian was laughing, he was almost cackling.   Did he poison Chris?   How was he going to fix his mouth to ask that.

He approached him very slowly.   “Brian I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me.” John stated.

“Okay.” Brian said.

“Did you poison Chris Hobbs?” John asked.

“Yes.” Was his one word reply.

“Shit.” John shook his head.

Molly bounced Brian on her knee as her mother sat across from her watching her very closely.  She knew that this was going to come out, but what was she going to say that would make her mom realize that John had changed.  He had only hit her once in his life and after he had done it he was so broken up about it.  It took a year of counseling for her to agree to go out on a date with him, and then it took another year for her to let him move in.   So now they were together, and there was nothing she could do about it because she loved him and well he was her husband so she could shove it.

“So?” Jennifer asked.

“So.” Molly answered.

“Tell me about him, how long have you two been together, and are they wedding bells around the corner?” she asked hopefully.

“The two of us are very close, we just want to see how things will be when Sarafina comes.” She added.

“Sarafina?   That’s not the name you said earlier?” her mom asked confused.

“No, I haven’t really picked a name for her yet mom, I know she’s a girl we saw the ultrasounds, the last one she was sucking her thumb oh mom she was so beautiful.  It took everything in me not to call you and tell you.”

“That’s what hurts the most sweetheart, you didn’t call me and tell me anything.   Are you ashamed?   Was it an accident getting pregnant because I could understand that I just don’t want you to have felt that because you had made a mistake you had to have the baby.” Her mom tried to explain.

“Mistake?   Oh mom she’s not a mistake, we planned her.”

“Planned?” Molly Anne Taylor, you are too young to be planning pregnancy you haven’t even finished school yet.   You don’t know this boy well enough to be deciding if you want to be tied down to him forever, after what happen to me and your father…..”

“I’m not you and dad!    I know what I’m doing, I’m in charge of my life and he’s not just using me or I do know what I’m doing.   Mom he’s my husband, I’m having this baby with my husband.” She stated taking her ring from her purse and slipping it on her hand.

 

“No fucking way!” JR shrieks from the other end of the phone.

“Yes way, I did it he’s probably puking his guts up right now.” Laughed Brian into the receiver of the phone.

“Oh man you should have made the dinner a weekend thing so I could have been there Uncle B that’s something that I would have died to see.” She laughed.

“I shouldn’t have done that, it was very childish of me.  I’m an adult and need to try and remember that.” Brian stated in his best grown up voice.

“Oh come on, he was stupid to come, I don’t care how much someone would have invited me.  If I knew that I had caused physical harm to someone at the house it would have been a cold day in hell before I showed up.” She laughed.

“Yea, I think I might have hurt Gus’ and Christina’s relationship and that’s something that I didn’t want to do.   That’s the only downside to this, I hurt him.  I was trying to hurt him.” Brian said sadly.

“Oh it’s okay Bri, I’m sure they understand.   So you gave him a laxative.   You could have done far worst.”

“I could have shot him.   I am sure I have a gun around here somewhere.”

“Exactly, and you have the best excuse in the world.

“Yea, what’s that?” he asked.

“Brian damage.” Then she laughed.   She was thrilled when he laughed louder.   She and Brian always talked.   She would call him tell her about everyone at her school and he’d listen and they’d gossip.   No one knew that side of Brian he was a big old softy at times, and she was like his fag hag.  She loved it

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

“No, not really.” He said brokenly.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked softly.

“Just don’t stop being you okay, and if well if disappear completely just know that I love you.” He whispered.

“What?” she asked getting alarmed.   This was not the way the conversation was going.   They were just shooting the breeze like they always did.   He didn’t say things like that not unless he really meant it.  What’s the matter Brian?”

“Nothing, I gotta go now.” Then the line went dead.

 

JR just sat there looking at her phone.    She had to think, what would her next step be?    She could call her dad?   No she couldn’t call her dad, last time she called her dad he ended up tied to a bed in a hospital room.   It was a Monday and she was 2 hours away.   Think, Think she was a strong, independent, determined 14 year old in the city.   She was also very smart.   She needed to get home, and fast, she heard the en suite bathroom opening.

“Jesus, what the hell is the matter with you?   You look awful.” She asked her roommate.”

“I’ve got that stomach flu that’s going around.   The Headmistress said I need to pack a bag and go home; they don’t want it spreading around the school.   I’ve got to pack and my mom’s going to come and get me.” She stated and she pulled a bag from under her bed and started stuffing close in.

“Stomach Flu.” She said out loud unable to keep the smile from her face.   She had to hurry, Brian needed her.

 

“That’s not funny!” Gus shouted in disbelief.

“It’s funny Gus, you should see him, and he’s even laughing.” Christina tried to reassure a frazzled Gus who stood on her doorstep.

“He shouldn’t have done that, we were trying to do something that meant something and what he did it ridiculous.” Gus stated upset.

“Gus, my uncle doesn’t blame your dad; hell even says that if this would have happened before your dad’s accident he probably would have left your house in a body bag.  It’s fine.   You couldn’t have come all the way here to shout about what your dad did.” She asked wondering what he was doing there.

“That’s my reason for coming; you know to apologize for the way dinner ended.  Maybe we can try it again sometime.” Gus said unable to stop laughing.

“I think we will do it again, but not with the parents together, a group of parents at a time.”

“Yea I think that would be best, so do you want to come up?” Christina asked.

“No I better get home, I’m supposed to help dad with the train tonight.”

“Oh how is that coming?” she asked excited about what they were going to do this year.

“It’s coming along good, just got to make the cable car.  I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned in a gave her kiss.

She couldn’t stop smiling as she watched him walk away, she loved him so much.

 

“Your husband gave it to you.” Jennifer said again in disbelief.

“Yes mom, my husband as in I’m not having this baby with just some boy that I like I’m having this baby with my husband.” She said setting her ground.

“Honey you haven’t been out a relationship with John long enough to…..” Jennifer stopped putting two and two together.

“You didn’t marry him did you, tell me you didn’t marry John!” her mother shouted getting up in her face.

“I did.   I love him and he loves me.   We have discussed what he did to me and he’s sought out the help that he needed and all is well.”

“He nearly killed you.” Jennifer couldn’t believe what was happening.   She had seen John and he was a different person than he used to be but could this really be happening.

“I know, but he’s changed.  He, I, and Janitorial will be a happy family with or without you.” She stated then she grabbed her purse and left the house.

 **FLASHBACK**

 _He was running he knew that.  He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he had to get away.   He had hurt Jennifer, and Justin wouldn’t forgive that.   That would be his third strike and then he’d have to go away.  He was running, but it had been raining and he slipped and hurt his knee on something._

 _“Hey let me help you.” A voice from above him asked.   When he looked up he couldn’t believe who it was._

 _“Fuck you Sap.” He said as he stumbled trying to get up and figure out where he was, he shouldn’t have left the car at Jen’s house._

 _“Well if it isn’t Kinney, I’ve been hearing some things about you.” Sap mumbled as he slowly backed Brian into an alley._

 _“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Brian asked._

 _“I heard that you’re kind of jumpy now since you left your brains on the other side of town.” The Sap sneered._

 _“You…You…You heard wrong.” Brian stuttered cursing himself inside.   He would not show him that he was afraid._

 _“Come with me.” Sap grabbed at him but he snapped away and turned to run but slipped again hitting his head hard on the pavement._

 _Bruce Saperstein was shocked.  He didn’t really want to cause harm to Brian.   Sure he hated him, but he mostly was just trying to scare him._

 _“You okay Kinney?” he asked._

 _He looked down at Kinney and noticed that he had sort of a dazed look to him._

 _“Justin?” Brian mumbled not remembering what he was doing.   “Justin can we go now, I’m cold.”_

 _“Oh come with me Kinney, I’ll warm you up.” The Sap couldn’t stop the smirk.   This could be fun._

 **_END FLASHBACK_ **

“Fuck!” Brian screamed coming back to consciousness.   He tried to remember the dream, was that a dream, when did that happen.  He couldn’t remember everything was so distorted.   Had he seen Bruce when he was running?   Did he?   Where’d he go?   There was the whole night he couldn’t remember and then he ended up in the park.   He couldn’t think about it he couldn’t breathe.   Someone was holding him down he had to get away.

“Let me go.” He fought with the person.

“Brian, it’s okay.   Sweetheart you were having a nightmare.”  A soothing voice broke him from his thoughts.   He looked up into her caring eyes and relaxed.

“Mom.” He managed to croak.

“Oh it must’ve been a pretty bad one.  You haven’t called me that in a long time.” She said taking him in her arms once more.   She rocked him back and forth, she didn’t know if he realized that he was shaking.  She could comfort him, she loved him so. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked wondering what exactly was going around in that head of his.

“No Deb, I’m fine, could you just, could we just stay like this for a while longer?” he asked clinging to her trying to remember what the therapists said and calm his breathing.”

“Yea kiddo, we can stay like this for as long as you want.” You kissed him on the forehead.   She couldn’t believe how close she had come to losing this man.  He was practically 50 and he was practically in his lap.   Something was the matter, Justin had gone out with the boys and she’d agreed to sit with Brian.   Something was wrong though, he was told someone to stop in his dream.   Had someone hurt him she wondered.   She held him a little tighter; she would kill anyone who fucked with her boys.

 

“It’s not fucking funny!” Justin shouted for what had to be the sixth time.   He was sitting at Woody’s having a bear with Michael and Brendon.  He thought the two of them would see how it was wrong for him to give Chris a laxative, but just like John and even Christina they were laughing.

“Oh come on Justin.  I can’t believe you haven’t wet yourself laughing.  Chris actually showed up for that dinner.  You guys kept saying it was going to happen but I never in my wildest dreams thought the poor bastard would show up.” Michael laughed.

“He came because we are adults who were setting differences aside for the sake of our children, but apparently he and I were the only two willing to do that.  You should have seen Brian when he came out with all those cupcakes.   All of them were Vanilla but right in the middle of the bunch was a huge black one.   Izzy reached for it and pulled her hand back like it was poison and then he told Chris he’d made it special just for him.

“Oh my god I should’ve been there, why weren’t we invited to that dinner?” Brendon asked.

“You call yourself a man of medicine.  He never said a thing but you could tell something was up as he watched him eat every last bit, and then the smile that came across his face when Chris told him it was delicious.   He had been acting weird all day and---“

“What do you mean weird?” Brendon asked calming.

“You know, it’s the whole mood swings of Brian, he’s up one minute he’s down the next, and then it didn’t help that I was scared right before dinner that I was literally throwing up in the bathroom.”

“What were you afraid of; did you actually think Brian was going to hurt Chris right there in front of his niece?

“I didn’t know.  He wanted it to go perfect in the beginning, then the table had to be right, then he had to have the right chairs, then he spent an hour looking at the food in the oven.   Then he had to have the perfect outfit.   He had just worn a suit to the banquet he could’ve kept that on or gone more casual but he found his best funeral black suit and shined his shoes like Chris was really important.   Then he poisoned him.   After I told him what I did I thought he really wouldn’t anything because he figured that Chris had the right to be angry.”

“Why?   What did you do?” Michael asked.

“It was a long time ago; you know when I was hanging out with Cody and those guys.   Well Cody found out where he lived and we sort of cornered him and I sort f held him at gunpoint and made him apologize.” Justin said down low all in one breath.

“Jesus fucking Christ Justin are you shitting me.” Michael stated sounding just like his mother.

Justin was about to share the whole story   with them but he caught someone coming their way and he stop.

 

“Hey Todd, how’s it going?” he asked his old friend as he approached.  It still was sort of weird seeing Todd dressed.

“Fine, things are going good Justin thanks for asking.  I just had to come over and tell you that I’m sorry about the other night.   I think I got there in time.  How’s Brian doing now?” Todd asked.

“He’s doing fine thanks for asking.” Justin said automatically.   “Wait what did you just say?” Justin asked after realizing what he had said.

“The other night, I was closing up and caught Bruce back there with Brian.  I got there in time I think, I’m not sure.  I asked but he just ran Justin, and I didn’t know either one of you guys’ new numbers.  I’m glad I caught you.” Todd stated looking crazy.

“Wait a minute, start from the beginning.   You caught Brian and The Sap?” Justin asked

“Todd looked around realizing that he had put his foot in his mouth this time.   Things were always simpler when he kept his mouth shut but whenever he decided to stick it out there for someone, he ended up getting the dirty end f the stick.  He sat down took a deep breath and told Justin everything he had seen.

 

“Janitorial!” John laughed into Molly’s ear.  “I don’t know what the hell we’re going to call her but it’s sure won’t be that.  It’s an occupation.”

“I know a girl name Janitorial.    She’s quite lovely, she calls herself Janet.” Molly stated seriously.

“If our daughter calls herself Janet, it will because we call her Janet it won’t be because her name reminds her of the toilet and she had to come up with something to shorten it.”

“Okay so no Janitorial.   How about Helena?” she asked as she lied on the bed beside him.   That was there new thing now, she had a hotel room and he’d come at night and they would just be together thinking of names for the baby.   She didn’t care what her mother said, she made the right decision.

“She just worries.” John stated as if he could read her mind.

“Reading minds now.”

“No, but I know you.   You wanted to prove a point to her and you showed the ring and told her you married me.   Good, it was time they found out, but she didn’t know that we’ve been doing what we’ve been doing for the past 2 years Molly.   She remembers your broken bedroom door, and what I did to your face, as your mother she would be an awful one if she didn’t think about that.   She’s afraid for you.   I’ll just have to let her see us together.   Then she’ll see I’ve changed.

“You have.   Will you stay tonight, or do you have to be back at Britin? She asked hopefully.

“No, there’s nothing going on there I can stay here with you, where I belong.” He kissed her on the forehead and the snuggled even closer together in the bed.

“See, you’re just as sweet as they come.   Will show my mom, she’ll see how happy you make me.  You, me, and Claire we’ll be the perfect family.

“You are not naming my daughter Claire.” He scolded.

She couldn’t help but laugh as she lied her head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat.   She fell asleep right then.

 

Justin stood in the doorway of their bedroom and watched Brian sleep.  He was so adorable when he slept.  He still looked young, that’s what Justin loved the most.   He wasn’t old, he was almost fifty, and he only had about five strains of grey hair, but when he slept he looked so peaceful.   Since the accident, Justin noticed that sometimes he looked like a big goofy kid.   He didn’t know how that made him feel, all he knew was he was going to have to leave the day after tomorrow for New York and he would be gone for a week.   A week with Brian, it hurt to think about it.

“He tried to stay awake for you.   He couldn’t after his nightmare though.” Debbie stated as she finished collecting her things to leave Britin.

“Deb it’s late I called Carl and you are staying here tonight.   What’s this about a nightmare?” Justin asked.

“Sweetie, I don’t want to scare you but he kept telling someone to stop, not to do something and at first I thought that he was reliving what Lindsay….” She trailed off afraid to finish her thought.

“Yea was he?” Justin asked hoping that god he was reliving that and not what Todd told him.

“I don’t know, I think it was someone a man was doing something Justin.   He woke screaming, and I held him and went back down but then he woke up again and then he asked for one of the blue pills.  He wanted to be put to sleep honey.  It broke my heart it did, and he called me Mom.   Like he use to when he was a kid.” Deb added.

“I’m here now Deb, I’ll take care of him.” Justin reassured her as he helped her down the hall to her guestroom.   “Goodnight Sunshine, you get yourself some sleep.” She kissed him on the cheek and closed the bedroom door.

 

Justin walked slowly back to the bedroom and stripped down.   He was almost afraid to climb in the bed with Brian.   He wondered if he ever got scared in the bed with him being that close.  He looked at Brian, he was whispering something in his sleep, then his whole body went rigid and he made fists clinging to the sheets.

“Brian?” Justin called wondering if Brian was asleep.

“Justin.” He cried out.  He didn’t wake up though.   He began to thrash, almost like he was running, trying to get away from something.  

Justin took him in his arms.  “It’s okay Brian, I’m here it’s okay no one will ever hurt you.” He held him tight.

Brian’s body relaxed and he turned towards Justin in his sleep.   Justin smiled when Brian seemed to sniff the air as if trying to see if it was really him.  He must’ve been happy with what he smelt because he came in closer to him and reached out for his hand in his sleep.   Justin gave it to him and finally took that breath he’d been holding when Brian seemed to relax.   His mouth opened and his breathing became even again.

Justin just kept right on telling him he was there for him.  He wondered if this was what Brian felt like when it came down to him.   His PTSD was it this bad?   All day he was mad about Brian and what he had done to Chris, it was wrong but it was almost like he was a child acting out, and all he had done was scold him like he was a child.   Tomorrow was his last day in town so he would spend it with Brian.   He would let him know that he was special and most of all loved.  He was also tell him that he was there for him and loved him no matter what.   Then maybe he would tell him himself what happened the night Brian was born with The Sap.   He had to make it right.

  


 


	21. Chapter 21

The Party           

MY plan today was to get up and find Brian and spend the day with him.   Last night was so horrifying.   I was at Woody’s until about 3 that’s when Todd came in and told me that he had caught Brian in the backroom with “The Sap”.  He wasn’t sure if anything had happened but Brian didn’t have any clothes on but he watched as he put them back on and he tried to help him but he just ran.   God please don’t let anything have happened to him.

When Justin came down the stairs he was assaulted by the shrieks and laughs of children.  He looked around with his mouth wide open with pure shock as what had to be every kid in the neighborhood ran around in his living room, he looked out back and the rest were there, not to mention what could only be moms, dads, and any other adult on the block.   What the hell was going on?   He heard Brian’s laugh and he decided to follow it.

Brian was in deep shit, he had fucked up again.   Making lists and trying to be the person that he used to be and he inversed numbers and now he was stuck having a giant sort of birthday party for Izzy and her birthday was 2 months away, but then again it was best for this to happen considering his plans.

“What are all these people doing here Brian?” Justin asked as he approached Brian.

“I might have made a simple mistake Sunshine, when it comes to some numbers, but there’s enough fun for everybody and entertainment and she’s having such a good time.” Brian told Justin pointing to Izzy who was in the corner with some friends getting her face painted.

“When did you plan all of this?” Justin asked.

“I don’t know, maybe right when I got back and thing was still jumbled, you’re not made are you?”

Justin couldn’t help but smile at Brian he was so adorable when he was worried which was a lot lately, he had that adorable look on his face a lot.   Of course he wanted to spend his last day in town alone with Brian but with everything going on he was sure that they would get some alone time eventually.

“This is fine Brian, this is fantastic actually.”

Molly threw down yet another dress in the bottom of the closet in frustration.    She had packed all the wrong clothes.

“You look fine, stop overanalyzing everything, we’re only going to see your brother.” John stated trying to get her to relax.

“We’re going to see my brother as husband and wife.  It was fine when we were going over there separately but now they are going to find out that we’re married because I’m positive that mother couldn’t keep her mouth shut and so we’re walking n there and they are going to be totally looking for scars or any way that I can be hiding where you beat me and I don’t want it too look like I’m hiding my body.” She shouted throwing down yet another dress.

“I’ve been living there helping out Uncle Brian and they know that I’m not that angry kid anymore, hell he loves me now.   Besides you are not hiding your body Molly.   You are a very beautiful not to mention very pregnant woman.   No one wants to see all of that hanging out.” He stated laughing.

“You are supposed to be making me feel better not like shit.”

“I’m not making you feel like shit, you’re having a baby.   Now put on the yellow one and lets go.   It’s Izzy’s birthday.” He laughed saying it.

“Do you think he felt bad when he realized that he had did the date wrong?”

“He probably did but it’s a kid’s party, they’ll party anytime you throw it so it’s fine.   She’s having a great time, and now we’re going to go and have a great time  it’s all going to be just fine.”

“I hope so.” She said giving her husband a hug.

“Me too.

 

JR was on a mission.  It had worked like a charm.   She had called the headmaster and told her that she felt ill and they didn’t question her when they realized who her roommate was.   They knew that hse had to get gone quick before it spread through the school.   The only downside was who picked her up, she didn’t think about that.

“Well honey considering how awful you felt, and what the nurse said I did expect you to have a fever, but I guess it broke.” Brendon stated as he pulled her hair back from her forehead.

“I didn’t think that you and dad were going to be the ones to come and get me.   I mean I’m just glad to be out of that place.” She quickly said trying to cover up the fact that she indeed was not sick.

“Well Melanie went down to see Lindz, she wasn’t expecting this to happen, but it’s fine I mean who better to take care of you then your dad and your doctor stepfather.   You’re in the best hands and we couldn’t wait for you to come and see the new place.” Michael said just happy to have his daughter to himself for a while eventhough she was sick.

“Hey I hear Izzy’s having a party when are we heading over there.” She asked hopefully.

“You are not going anywhere, your sister will understand if you don’t come, besides it’s not her birthday anyways.   Brian made a mistake.” Michael said in a whisper.    He was still saddened at what was happening to his friend.   It hurt so much.

“Brian is just fine.” JR said loudly.

“You are right, he is just fine.   Why don’t you try and get some sleep for a while and when you wake up if you’re feeling better we’ll head over to the party.   I hear it’s an all-day event.”  Brendon said with a smile.

“Oh thanks Brendon!” she said hugging him.

Michael like seeing that, he was so afraid that JR would resent Brendon because he was not Ben, but she had grown fond of him.   That was good; she made them becoming a family even better.   It also still hurt him how she would react when he said something about Brian.   She just didn’t understand that Brian was going to be different now.   He was not and would never be the same.   She would learn that the hard way, and he hated that for her.

 

Izzy was having a good time but there was just too much going on.   She would have liked to be somewhere with her daddy, but had invited everyone over and there were clowns and paint, and everything that a girl could want for a party, but she didn’t want a party right now.   She just wanted to be with her daddy, and be his little peanut.

“Are you having a good time?” Brian asked Izzy.

“Yes.”

He knew right away when that was all that she said that something was totally off.

“What’s the matter Peanut, why don’t you like?”

“It’s not that daddy I just thought that you, me, and daddy were going to go to the park today.  He’s going to be gone for a long time and when he leaves we always spend the day together, but we can’t do that cause everyone’s here.” She said sadly.

“Oh Peanut, you know how daddy gets confused now because he hurt his head.   He thought that today was your birthday so he planned all of this for you but it’s not your birthday today.” Brian sighed.

“Oh daddy, don’t get sad.   I like it I like everything; I don’t want you to get sad or mad again.   I’m sorry, please I’m still your Peanut right.” She said almost panicked.

“OF course sweetheart, let’s give everyone another hour or so and then we’ll get rid of everyone how do you like that?”

“Okay.” She said taking his hand and heading back towards the party

 

Gus and Christina had found a nice quiet place in the house and were just enjoying the silence.   He loved her so much, and when they were alone, his body would react like he assumed all teenagers his age reacted.  He wanted her, he could feel a deep hunger deep down in his groin area and he could never get his dick to behave around her.   He knew that it was only a matter of time before they had sex.   He just hoped that she wasn’t disappointed with him.

“Just relax.” Christina said as she leaned in a kissed him deeply.    She loved Gus, and the sound that he made every time they were alone.     She wanted to go to the next level but she knew that Gus wanted things to go slower, he was such a gentleman.    Too bad that she had a little whore in her, in a good way of course.    She just wanted him to know that she loved him.   She unzipped his fly and stuck her hand inside and caressed his hardening cock.

“Wait.” His voice squeaked.

“What, you are not taking advantage of me Gus, I’m taking advantage of you.” She said leaning and smiling.

“Yea, I want it to be special.   I mean we can’t just do this in my folk’s house in the room next to the train while your sister has a party.”

“Don’t you want this?” she asked sitting on his lap and grinding up against him.

“There you guys are!” shouted John when he came around the corner to find Gus and Christina in an almost compromising position.   “What are you guys up too?” he asked unable to keep the smirk from his face.

“Nothing John, we were just about to go get some cake.” Gus stated unable to keep the blush from creeping up his face.

 

Justin looked around and the party was finally starting to die down which was good because he needed to talk to Brian.   He needed to ask him about “The Sap”.   He really didn’t know how to do it, but he knew that it had to be done.   He looked to his right and he saw Molly.   She was so happy, and John was right there beside her.  He had his hand on her shoulder, he tried to see if it was in a possessive way or was it just a normal affectionate way.   He knew he of all people shouldn’t try and judge the relationship that his sister had chosen for herself, but he remembered her broken face after John had gotten angry.   He knew that Kinney temper.   He knew it too well.   He wasn’t overreacting, was he?

 

“I tell you John I was very shocked when my daughter told me that she had married you.” Jennifer stated giving him a once over.  He really didn’t seem like the angry man he used to be.

“I’m sure you were Mrs. Sawyer, I was a horrible person to your daughter during our first relationship.  I was a troubled kid, and that was no excuse for what I did.   I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.   Brian has forgiven me for some of the things that I did when I was younger and so has Molly, but saying I’m sorry is not enough.   I go to a meeting three times a week to deal with my anger because I know that is not just something that you can say you can control.  It goes deeper than that.  I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving to Molly that it will never happen again, and it won’t Mrs. Sawyer.   I’ll die before I lay a hand on her or our daughter.” John stated firmly.

Jennifer looked into those deep Kinney eyes and knew that this young man meant it.   She also knew that since he was a Kinney there really was no way that she would be able to get rid of him.  “Well let’s see that you don’t.” was all that she could muster to say and then she was off to try some of the food before it was all gone.

 

Brian was happy with himself.  He had made a mistake but besides that the party was in full swing.   The whole neighborhood was there.   Izzy was having a good time, eventhough she didn’t want all the people there.   He had only one slip up the whole day.   Things were looking up, but then he saw someone that shouldn’t be there at all.

“What the hell are you doing here Saperstein?” Brian asked coming right in his face.

“Oh, that’s not the way to be Brian, we’re old friends.   I brought your little girl a gift, she is a sweet little thing, she’s got your eyes.” He whispered to Brian.

“You son of a bitch!” Brian caught himself; he would not lose his temper at this kiddie party.

“Oh that’s not the way to be darling, I thought you and I were friends.   You and  were special friends, don’t you remember the other night.” He stated and he took his hand and brushed against Brian’s crotch area.

“Don’t!” Brian said moving away.  He looked around to see if he could get Justin’s attention but he was talking with his mother.

“Now don’t go calling attention to yourself cupcake, we can go right here and have a little fun.   No one will ever know, you owe me since our fun got interrupted the other night.” He sneered.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, you just leave right now or I won’t be responsible for what I might do!” Brian said angrily.

“Come with me.” He grabbed Brian and pulled him into the house where no one was.

 

Izzy couldn’t wait for everyone to leave so that she could go with her daddies to the park.   She had run inside to get her new Barbie to show to her friend Sabrina but she saw that the door to the train was open.   She hadn’t been in there in a long time, and she wanted to see the new piece that Gus and her dad had been working on.   They never let her come in when they were working; she always had to sneak in when they weren’t around.   She snuck inside and was about to pick up the new caboose when she heard her father’s voice.   She didn’t want to get into trouble so she climbed under the table so they would see her.

 

Brian didn’t like where this was going at all.   He was trying to lead Bruce closer to the rear of the house and where most of the party guests where but somehow he got turned around and now they were heading deeper into the house, near where he and Gus kept the train.

“What the hell is this place?” Bruce asked as he looked around taking in the massive train.   “Jesus Christ Kinney have you ever heard of simple.” He asked referring to the train.

“You need to leave now, this place is packed.” Brian said unable to keep his voice from shaking.

“That’s the thrill of it isn’t Kinney.   I thought that’s what you liked.   You liked to fuck in the backroom for everyone to see.   I can’t wait to bend you over this table and maybe that pretty little husband of yours will walk in and see me having my way with your tight ass.” He backed Brian up into the table with the biggest piece of the train on it.   He couldn’t explain how excited he knew that Brian was afraid.   He was sweating, and his eyes dance from left to right.   He also saw how eventhough Brian was terrified it was making him aroused as his member began to rise in the pants he wore.   “Look at that looks like someone is glad to see me.” He gave Brian a good squeeze through his pants.

Brian hated himself for moaning at the touch of Bruce.  This was not going to happen though.  He was in charge and no meant no.   He could do this, how dare Bruce think he was going to get away with this.  To be in his house, and think that he would let him do this, he was Brian Fucking Kinney.

“Get the fuck away from me.” Brian snapped shoving Bruce away.

“Oh you’re going to pay for that Kinney.” Saperstein shrieked taking off his belt and undoing his fly.

Brian was stupid, he was not going to let it happen, he was in control of his life.  He wasn’t a silly little brain damaged faggot.   He ran for the door, but “The Sap” was faster.   He turned the lock and grabbed Brian but the wrists.    He leaned him over the table, but first he took the belt that he had and tied Brian’s wrists together.    When he tried to move he put his knee in the center of his back.   “It’s time someone taught you a lesson boy.” He said as he lowered Brian’s pants and lined himself up to Brian’s opening.

Brian tried to leave his body, anything so that he wouldn’t have to think about what was about to happen.  He could smell the alcohol on his breath and there was no telling what else was in his system.  He tried to go to a different, he was happy that he did hear a condom wrapper open.

“I don’t know where you’ve been Kinney.” He snickered putting the wrapper over his full length.   He slowly slid into to Brian and it felt like heaven when his whole body tensed.  It made him instantly hard knowing that he dreaded every moment of this.   “I’m going to make it so no one will want to touch you again.” Then he slammed into him as hard as he could.

Brian couldn’t help it, he screamed at the feeling of Bruce entering him without preparing him.  He thought this was it, this was the worst thing that could ever happen to him.   Nothing else could make this be any worst.

“Get the fuck off my daddy!” came a voice from under the table.

Bruce didn’t know what to do when he saw the little girl’s frightened face.   He wanted to hurt Brian not traumatize a child for the rest of her life.   He pulled out of Brian and his body went limply through the floor.   A part of him wanted to tell the little girl something, but what could you tell a little girl after she witness something like that.

“Izzy..” he started.

She didn’t know what to do.   That man had hurt her daddy, and now he was on the floor.  He wasn’t moving, he wasn’t talking, he wasn’t even blinking.

“Daddy?” she asked but he didn’t reply.   She began to scream.

Bruce knew he couldn’t stand around after that, he took off out the door, he had to find a way out of there.

Izzy screamed until it hurt and it didn’t look like anyone was going to come.  She called for her daddy but he didn’t say anything he just curled up into a ball and turned away from her.   She didn’t know what to do.   She did what the man did.   She ran.

 

Chris Hobbs couldn’t believe that he was walking into the gate to enter Britin yet again.   He was shocked when Christina told him that they were having a party and that they wanted him to come.  His stomach was just returning to normal, but here he was again going into what another trap.  He was torn from his thoughts when a small child ran by him in a blur.   He grabbed her hand to steady her and he realized it was Izzy.

“Hey sweetie, watch where you are going before you get hurt?” he told her.

“Get your God damn hands off me asshole.” She snatched away from him and kept right on running.   He ran inside he had to find someone to see if they knew something had her upset.

 

JR had finally convinced her father that going to party was a good idea, and now she was on a mission to find her uncle.   She still hadn’t told anyone about the phone call that they had shared.   She needed to see him up close to see that he was okay, and then he’d talk to John and tell him that she was scared for him.   She saw the room to the train was open.   She hadn’t seen the new edition so she decided to go in.

“Gus?” she asked wondering who was in there.   She heard a loud banging.    It was constant like someone was banging two pots together.   She came around the corner and was scared when she found Brian sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest.   He was beating his head up against the wall, constantly just banging it hard against the wall.   That really couldn’t be good for him.

“Hey stop that!” she said kneeling down towards him.   He kept right on doing it until she put her arm behind his head and he hit her hand that time.

“Uncle Bri, what the hell is going on?” she asked alarmed.

It wasn’t lost on her that he just stopped and looked at nothing, then she looke”d down and noticed that his hands were tied.

“What the fuck?” she asked untying the knot that had been done with a belt.   Someone had tied him up with a belt.   What the fuck was going on?   This was a child’s party for God’s sake.

“What’s the matter?  Who did this Brian?” she asked scared.

“I didn’t want, and she saw, oh god she saw!” he cried.   He couldn’t catch his breath.   He was hyperventilating.

“Oh god… she saw…I think…I think….I’m dying.  Oh god I’m dying.” He babbled and twitched and she was getting scared.

“She took out her cellphone and dialed John’s number.   “What happened Brian?” she asked.

“Did you see her?   She saw and I didn’t want, oh god she saw?”

“Who saw what?”

“She saw him hurt me.    Izzy!” he screamed and his body went completely limp as he passed out at her feet.

  


 


	22. Chapter 22

Well Fuck That

 

Things were happening too fast, and it was hard for Brian to concentrate.   He remembered what “The Sap” had tried to do, but he didn’t.   He didn’t get too finish because she scared him away.   His face, he wished that he could do something to take away the disappointment in her eyes.   She had seen him, she had seen what he was letting him do and she was disgusted.   She saw that he wasn’t her daddy anymore he had officially become nothing in the eyes of the only person that mattered.

 

 

 

Brendon couldn’t quite understand what happened all he knew that JR came screaming his name around the corner.

 

“You have to come now Brendon, he’s hurt and he won’t talk to me.” She practically screamed at him as she came around the corner.

 

“Calm down sweetheart, what’s the matter?” he asked calmly as Michael came up beside her.

 

“When I got here, I wanted to talk to him because something isn’t right and he called me to tell me but he couldn’t because I’m just a kid.   So I lied about being sick, but he’s in the train room and he was beating his head against the  wall and then he said her, oh god did he do something to her.”

 

“To who?   What are you talking about Jenny?” Michael asked taking his daughter’s hand.   She was scared out of her mind.

 

“Don’t fucking make this about me, come with me?” she shouted dragging them around the corner.

 

 

 

Chris Hobbs for one couldn’t believe that he was doing this.   He was chasing a five year old that knew the woods surrounding Britin like the back of her hand, but there was just something about her face that called out to him when he saw it.  He knew that maybe he should’ve gotten one of her dads, but something told him that he had to move fast.   She came around another corner and he was shocked when they entered a field.   It had a giant tree, and in this tree had to be the biggest treehouse he’d seen in his life.   They really knew how to spoil a kid.

 

Izzy was scared.   She didn’t know what they were doing but it was wrong and that man had made her daddy cry.  He told him no, but he didn’t listen.  He said a bad word, and had to give her a quarter.   She didn’t mean to run to her treehouse but she couldn’t find Justin.   She wanted Justin.

 

“Isabella!” she heard a voice call.

 

“I’m not here go away.” She replied.

 

“Isabella, I don’t think your daddies would like it if they knew you were out here all alone, why don’t you come with me and I’ll take you back.” He said as he entered the treehouse slowly.

 

She looked up to see who had the nerve to follow her and when she saw who it was she couldn’t keep the distaste from her mouth.

 

“Leave me the fuck alone Hobbs!” she shouted she knew that her daddy didn’t like him.   She knew it was wrong for what she said so she covered her mouth.   “I’m sorry, you not going to tell I said a bad word?” she hoped.

 

“No sweetheart I won’t.   Come on down from there I bet your daddies are worried.” He cooed trying to see if the things that would work easily on Christina when she was younger would work on her.

 

“He hurt my daddy.” She couldn’t help it anymore.   She cried, she cried and this strange man gave her a hug.   She really needed it right now.  “I want my daddy.” She cried louder.

 

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’ll take you too him.” He took her in his arms and prayed to god they wouldn’t think he had done anything to her when he brought her back.

 

 

 

John was the first one to notice first, he was very discreet when he pointed out to Brendon that Brian’s pants had a stain in the back.   Not much, but enough for them to know what had happened.   They didn’t know who had done it though, because he wasn’t talking.  He wasn’t saying anything at all.   When JR took them to him he had been unconscious which is not good with his head injury but he quickly came around but after that he just stared at no one in particular when that glazed over look.

 

“Brian fucking say something!” Justin screamed in his face.

 

“Justin I’m not sure he can hear us?” Brendon spoke very calmly to Justin.

 

“What?” Justin said unable to control the terror in his voice.

 

“I don’t think he can hear us, I think something has happened and he needed to slip away for a while.” John stated slowly.

 

“What could’ve….” Justin stopped when he saw what they were pointing at.

 

 

 

Bruce Saperstein burst into Babylon’s offices took out Brian’s best JB and took a long swig.    What the fuck was he thinking?    You can’t get in cahoots with a person with brain damage because they are brain damaged.    He was so sure of himself.  He asked more than once.  Why the fuck did he let Brian talk him into shit.

 

 **_Earlier…._ **

 

“I can’t do this.” He replied jumping up from couch where Brian lay naked.

 

“God damn it not you too!” Brian screamed getting up.

 

“What the hell is your problem Kinney, I just said get up and leave.   Am I hearing this correctly, you are upset because I won’t sexual assault you?”  Bruce asked in disbelief.

 

“No.  Yes.” Brian didn’t know he was confused.    “When I first came here, and I was confused, I was looking for Justin you were going to do me then.”

 

“I know and that’s wrong.  I was going to do it because you an ass Kinney, always has and always will be.  I was going to take it.  Bring you back down to the person you were when I met you so long ago.  Now I just can’t do that too you.

 

“Because I’m lucid, because when you look at me now you see the person I was.    Well if you just wait a few minutes I’m sure that oaf will be back so I won’t even bother to get redressed.” Brian threw himself back on the couch and look at the ceiling.

 

“Things can’t be that bad.   What were you talking about earlier, you said you broke Jennifer.   Do you remember what happened?    I couldn’t get the blood out but they are dry.” He passed Brian his clothes that he had dried in the dryer.

 

“Thanks.” Replied Brian but he put the clothes down not even trying to put them on.

 

“Don’t think you call him tell you are alright, I’m sure he hasn’t missed me yet.  Not enough to worry.”

 

“Brian what do you want from me because if it’s a fuck it’s not going to happen.   I can’t do it, you’re just I’m sorry I can’t.”

 

“Damn I’m truly pathetic.   Can’t even get a pedophile to fuck me and you were already too but you changed your mind.   What?”

 

“This, the Brian Kinney I knew wouldn’t be this fucking pathetic.” Then he took a shot from beam.

 

“Brian Kinney is dead.”

 

“Hey Sap I’m leaving…..” Todd’s thoughts were caught off when he saw Brian back there naked and with “The Sap.”

 

“What the fuck is going on?   Brian?” Todd questioned.

 

“I was just leaving.” Brian hurried and put on his pants and ran from the backroom.

 

“What the fuck Bruce?” Todd asked when Brian was gone.”

 

“Don’t fucking worry about it, he was never here.”

 

 **_End flashback._ **

 

“No, he wasn’t going down for something Kinney planned.” He said to himself and he took another shot of Beam.

 

Melanie Marcus stood outside the airport getting majorly pissed.    First off, she thought that Brian packing up and leaving was wrong very wrong, but then she could kind of understand where he was coming from.    In the old days she wouldn’t care what he did or where he went but now, now he was practically her best friend.    She still can’t get over the conversation that they had earlier in the week.

 

 

 

 **_Flashback_ **

 

“What?” Melanie asked unable to believe what she was hearing.

 

“Just tell him that you are going to go and see Lindz, and then meet me at the airport.”

 

“You can’t be serious Brian; maybe we should just go and talk to John.  I think he would have something to say about this.” She said in a soothingly voice.

 

“Don’t fucking placate me.   I’m not a child.   Everyone is treating me like a child and I’m fed up with it.  I’m taking back my life and giving them back theirs.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Melanie asked hoping that he could explain.  Last thing she knew that had happened was Brian had given Hobbs a laxative and delivered Jennifer’s baby.

 

“You should have heard him talking to his agent on the phone.   She wants him to come to New York; he needs to be in New York.   I know that, the time had escaped me and I wasn’t paying attention.   Everything was getting so jumbled a.  nd I just forgot for a while and he was begging her to understand but she wasn’t.   None of them were.” Brian tried to explain hoping he would get it.

 

Melanie listened but while she was listening she noticed a lot about Brian.  He came into her office alone, how they hell had he gotten there alone.   He was dressed to the nine; he was acting better than she had seen him act in a long time.   Was the therapy really helping?    She knew the final test, she took out her phone and put on that damn hamster app.

 

“Could you turn that god damn thing off?” Brian shouted.

 

“Brian you ever think that maybe you’re getting better.  Let Justin go to New York and then you’ll be able to see how good you’re doing.   I for one think you are doing exceptionally well today.    I’m quite proud of you.”

 

“Are you going to meet me or not?” he asked again.

 

“Brian Justin is not going to let you leave him?   If you decide to go away to a clinic he is going to go with you.   That’s love Brian, you know that.  He loves you.”

 

“I know, that’s why has to realize there’s no hope for me.”

 

“He’ll never leave Brian.    When you love someone you can’t let them go, I just got off the phone with Lindsay and I hate what she did to you.  I hope you know that, I told her to her face that she was a horrible person and that I never wanted to see her again, but when she was gone.   I thought I’d drown, she didn’t even say goodbye to me and I don’t care.   I love her; I’ll still be waiting when she gets better.

 

“She can get better.   I can’t.    Meet me there please” he left her office.

 

Melanie didn’t know what to do really.    She thought he was better, he just didn’t realize it yet.”

 

 **_End Flashback_ **

 

“Where the fuck are you?” Melanie said out loud as she walked slowly back to her car.

 

 

 

Justin sat in yet another waiting room as they examined Brian.   He was relieved when they told them that there had been some tearing but total penetration had not happen.  How the heck was that even possible he wondered, but he thanked God for the small favors that he could get.  Brian had been traumatized though, but because Izzy saw.    When Chris had brought her to me I swear to God I was seconds from killing him because I knew he had hurt her, but he hadn’t.  He found her hiding in her treehouse.   He looked at his phone once more, and he yet another voicemail from his agents in New York.

 

“Fuck them!” he said out loud to no one.  Brian was what was important.

 

 

 

It was quiet Brian thought.   How the fuck did he get from a birthday party to a fucking hospital room.   Okay by the end of the day he did plan to be in a hospital room, but not thing one.  In one he had picked, in one where they were going to shave his head, and cut open his body and hopefully give him his life back.  Instead, things got out of a hand and he couldn’t get back to being him.   Izzy had saw, she was a part of the plan but not that part.

 

 

 

 **_Flashback_ **

 

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings daddy, but it’s not my birthday, you got the numbers wrong.” She stated trying her best not to look at her father.   She knew that he still got upset sometimes and would cry at the simplest things.

 

“Oh well I guess I don’t have to give you your present today then.” He said as he placed the small box back into his pocket.

 

“Oh no please can I have it.  If you give it to me now you don’t have to get me anything next time.” She promised.

 

“Listen this is a special gift, a gift that for a little while I don’t want you to tell anyone about it and I want you to keep it in your special box okay.” Brian stated bending down so he was at eyelevel with his daughter.

 

“What’s the matter daddy?” she asked as she wiped the tear that came down his cheek.

 

“Daddy didn’t make a mistake about your birthday; he wanted you to have a special day because he wanted to see you happy because when your birthday comes I’m not going to be here.”

 

“What?” Why not daddy, do you have to take a business trip?”

 

“Not exactly, daddy has to go and see some special people and if everything goes the way that it should they will fix me and when I come back I will be the way that I use to be.”

 

“I like you now, you hardly ever work and we play all the time.”

 

“I know and I love that, but it’s the other stuff sweetheart, the other stuff that your daddy needs to remember how to do.   I need to get better so that your other daddy can go back to work.   He’s been here a long time and you remember sometimes he has to leave for work.   He hasn’t been gone in ages right?” he hoped that Izzy understood what he was trying to say.

 

“No he said that he has to stay and take care of us.   You will be able again someday but I like have you both here.”

 

“I know.   I just want you to take this, it’s a phone.   It’s special because you are the only one with my new number in it.   I am going to call you every night but it’s going to be our special secret okay.   Then if I don’t call I want you to hold one down and then it will call me and you can see why I haven’t called.   Do you understand?”

 

“Yea daddy it’s like we’re spies, you know like on that Charlie’s Angel show you showed me.    I’m an angel and you’re Bossley.”

 

Brian didn’t know what to think of that, one minute he thought his daughter was very clever and the next he thought they watched too much nick at nite.”

 

“Right now also your other daddy might get mad at me today and we might yell and then I’m going to leave but don’t worry I’ll be back.”

 

“Okay.

 

“Okay, now enjoy you party.”

 

 **_End Flashback_ **

 

 ****

 

Brian was snapped back to reality by a slap to the face.    When he opened his eyes again he couldn’t help but grimace at who stood before him.

 

“Bruce.”

 

“Don’t fucking Bruce me.    I’ve been scared shitless for hours.  I thought that the cops surely would have broken in my house by now and arrested me for your malicious assault.   That was bad Brian, you said that it would be easy for you to leave because no one would have expected, but she was a kid Brian.  Your kid.” He said in disgust.

 

“That wasn’t supposed to fucking happen.   Lots of things happen today that was not supposed to happen.” He looked directly at Bruce.

 

“I know.  I just want the fuck man, you didn’t stick to the script.   You didn’t do what we agreed on.   Brian are you even listening to me.” He asked when he noticed Brian had gone back to looking at the spot on the wall.

 

“I’m screwed.” He thought as he took at Brian’s bed side.   “Why the fuck did I let you talk me into it?”

 

 

 

 **_Flashback_ **

 

 ** _“_** So you want him to catch us fucking?” Bruce asked in disbelief.

 

“No of course not, for him to catch me doing that he would never fall for it.   I’ve been there done that already and the outcome was not pretty.” Brian said thinking of “The Rage” Party.

 

“You’ve gotta be fucking me.    He will think for sure that I’m not salvageable.    I’ve already let Lindsay feel me up and now I’m letting you fuck me.   He will throw me out.   I can be halfway to Canada before he realizes it was a trick.   If he realizes” he said softly.

 

“Brian you and I are not friends.   I mean we use to be and then I screwed you over and then I drugged your boyfriend and tried to screw him why on earth would you want me to fuck you.” Bruce asked seriously.

 

“Sadly you’re my only hope.   Only bottomed for two people in my life, and you are the other person.   I know that I can trust you to do as I ask because you want Babylon.   It has to be you because no one in their right mind will believe that you and I came up with a plan like this.  I hate you, it’s like if I fucked the fiddler.” Brian said making a face.

 

“Okay so I want Babylon and you want your husband to catch me fucking you, all because you keep telling me that you have some kind of brain damage.    I’m sorry because I’m not seeing it.   This has got to be the sickest plan I have ever heard of in my mind.   I mean you want him to see you cheating.  You are going to do this at a kid’s party.   What if one of the little muskrats catches us?”

 

“That’ll never happen; I’ll have so much shit going on a child would be crazy to come in the house with all this stuff going on.   When the fuck did you grow a conscience?    Do you want to stop managing this place and actually own it again?”

 

“Fine, you tell me when and where and I’ll come and fuck your brains out.”

 

 **_End flashback_ **

 

 ****

 

“Okay I realize that you went from the script, and so did I.   I was never supposed to tie your hands, I got upset and forgot that we were supposed to be louder so someone would come and see us.   Then it was her Brian.   A sweet innocent little girl and I know you’re kicking yourself for that.   She was what collateral damage?    Like I said before I don’t know why the cops never came to get me and for that I’m grateful.   I also can’t believe what about to say.   You are one sick fuck, I should’ve never had thought a plan like this was going to work, there is still obviously something wrong with you.   Here are the papers, keep your club.”    Bruce Saperstein threw the papers down on the table by Brian’s bed and left the room.  He only had one more stop to make and then he was getting the fuck out of Pittsburgh.

 

 

 

 Melanie Marcus was pissed by the time she got back to Britin.   Every time she was about to leave she decided that she would stay a little longer because well Brian was out of source at the moment and maybe he wasn’t exactly sure what time his plane was leaving.   Twice she wanted to call Justin but she knew that he was not supposed to be told what he was planning.  That was another reason why she wanted to call Justin.   It was wrong what he was doing really it was.   Now she was at Britin and she was going tell he what she thought about him.  Only when she came in the look on her son’s face was heartbreaking.

 

“What the hell is going on?” she asked him.

 

“It was horrible mom; I think dad might be gone for good.

 

 

 

Justin was glad that he had finally gotten Izzy to agree to take a nap.   She was so exhausted from the party, and then the running away, and then what she saw.  Justin couldn’t stop cringing when he thought about what she could have seen.   To say that he was thrilled that Brian wasn’t raped was an understatement he was too the moon but he knew that him seeing that she saw what was happening to him.  That’s why he had gone catatonic.   He knew he would come back to him.   He was willing to wait forever if he had too.   He would call New York and tell them to shove it.  Brian was more important. First he needed to brush his teeth; he had the nastiest taste in his mouth.

 

Okay the first thing that Justin knew was missing from the bathroom was Brian’s toothbrush.   At first he thought nothing of it, Brian had been misplacing that thing all week, and some of the places he found it was hilarious.   Then he went to wipe his hands after he washed them and Bran’s towel was gone.   He couldn’t stop the quickening of his heartbeat.     He ran into the room and quickly everything fell into place yet made absolutely no sense.

 

His toothbrush, towel, robe, running shoes, and numerous amounts of clothes all were missing.    Then he noticed one of Brian’s suitcases were gone.    None of this made sense because Brian was at the hospital, there was no doubt where he was.

 

Finally he looked at his machine for his private line.    It was Thursday, he always checked his messages on Fridays but he had four so he decided to check them.   Maybe they would calm him and make him be able to shake this funny felling

 

MESSAGE 1:  “Hi Justin.   It’s me, you didn’t pick up so I’m leaving a message.   Of course you know it’s me damn stupid.  I need bread can you bring bread.”

 

Justin couldn’t help but smile he remembered when Brian left that message, he had gotten the bread though and there was no need for it.

 

MESSAGE 2: “What the fuck are you doing?” asked a voice Justin couldn’t recognize.    “I’m calling Justin and telling him that I’m going to be late.   We’re working on the plan.” Brian snickered.    “I think I gave to much of the good shit.” Came the unidentified voice again.

 

Justin froze.   What plan?   What had Brian done.

 

MESSAGE 3:   Gotta leave this why I’m thinking clearly.   Halve the time I don’t know if I am.   Do you know that Justin?   Am I thinking straight?    Fuck you can’t answer it’s your machine.   Okay listen I’m sorry, Bruce was the only person that you wouldn’t believe I planned something with.  I hate him, and the thought of his hands touching my body I want to vomit and God I know what we did was wrong.   I had to leave okay.   You were making too many sacrifices for me.   Gus was ashamed of me, and I poisoned his girlfriend’s dad.   No Uncle!   Izzy loves me but that’s because I’m dumber than her now, I haven’t seen Michael or any of the others in days.    They come by to say hi but then they go back to their real lives.   I was ruining John’s marriage, he’s married to Molly and they are going to have a baby and he’s here taking care of my miserable ass.   I had to go, it was for the best.   Don’t try to find me okay, and I know we probably cursed and screamed and we said tons of shit when you found me letting The Sap fuck me but it wasn’t like that.  I’m sorry.   Maybe one day we can find each other again and be together.   I was weighing you down, they were going to let you go, you have a life and a job and commissions that don’t have anything to do with a fuck up like me.    Forget about me because I’m a fuck up.

 

Justin didn’t know what to make of that message.  Brian was going to leave him, he was supposed to catch Bruce fucking him and get mad and then he was going to leave.   That’s why he was upset because I didn’t catch him Izzy did.   He was fuming.  How could he do that, and their daughter got caught in the crossfire because Brian Kinney thought he’d throw me off yet another cliff.

 

“Well fuck that.” He shouted grabbing his keys off the nightstand.


	23. Chapter 23

Finding Answers and Starting a Search

 

Brian sat in his room trying to figure out when it all went wrong.   When did he slip from being with the plan and then into a crying bastard thinking they were being raped.   He wanted to be able to slip away but how was he going to do that now, he had been doing good and he had more times of lucidity which made him think that he could come up with this plan in the first place.  Boy he had never been more wrong in his life.   Then again as he looked around his room he realized that he was alone, Justin was nowhere to be found.   Maybe just maybe he could do this another way.   He reached for the phone and dialed the number.

 

“Hello.” Said the scratchy voice on the other line because it was so late.

 

“Can you help me?” Brian practically cried into the receiver.

 

“I’m on my way.” the caller replied and the line went dead.

 

 

 

“Do you really believe that’s what happened?” asked a confused Daphne who had been woken up and forced to listen to his rant for the last twenty minutes.

 

“Yes.  I believe that’s what happened because it’s so Brian and then it’s not.   His mind is his one minute and it’s not the next and I can’t pretend to know that I know what that’s like because my situation was totally different.   There was never a doubt if I was Justin.  I always knew that I was well me.”

 

“Okay so let me get this straight.   You think that Brian was planning to leave you, but to make sure you didn’t follow or care where he was he wanted to catch him letting Bruce Saperstein fuck him.   Is that what you’re saying?” Daphne asked in disbelief

 

“Yea, Brian was pushing me off yet another fucking cliff, but I guess something went wrong, maybe he slipped away again.   It was going to good; he was having more days in a row where he was himself.  So maybe he and Bruce cooked up something but he didn’t remember and Bruce did it anyway and Izzy saw.   That’s the bad thing, she saw and now I don’t know she may never be the same.   He should have thought about her but he didn’t, he was only thinking about himself.” Justin jumped up angry.

 

“Calm down, you’re all over the place.   He didn’t think of only himself.  He did all of this because he thinks he’s a burden.   How have the two of you been really Justin?   I know that I can’t be around as much as I use to be but you are my family.   How are things between the two of you?”

 

“They couldn’t be better Daph, I take him to his therapy every morning and I help him with his exercises.  He likes the park a lot so we go there a lot, and we spend tons of time with Izzy.   What?   Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“Justin Brian is your partner, he’s practically your husband he’s not your dog.   Have the two of you been anywhere alone since all of this happened?”

 

“No but its fine.   He doesn’t like to be around crowds, and he’s been having nightmares.   We just like being alone together.    Before you think that I’m treating him like he’s challenged I don’t, we’ve had sex.

 

“How many times?” she asked.

 

“Two.  We’re getting off topic Daph.” He sat down beside her once more.   He took a good look at her, he missed this.   IT was still hard to look at her because of the fire, but she didn’t let it get to her.   She didn’t let the physical damage stop her.   Why couldn’t Brian be like her?

 

“He is.” She stated as if she read his mind.   “He wants to get better for you, and if you want to know the answers, and if you want advice you need to get up and get your ass to the hospital.   The man with all the answers is there.”

 

“I know but he’s resting comfortably, I don’t want to go in there shouting, he’s not even talking.”

 

“He’s shocked, if this is true his daughter witnesses something that she shouldn’t have and it traumatized him, them both actually.   You need to get to the bottom of this and tell him that you’re going to be there no matter what it’s your job, and then help Izzy.

 

 

 

“Oh my god!” that was the only thing that Melanie could muster after Gus told her what happened.   She held her daughter close to her.   Izzy poor Izzy, she was her mother and she should’ve protected her from something like that.   Lindsay was not around and it was her job as a mother to protect her, she failed yet another person for being on Brian’s side.   This couldn’t have been what he planned though, there was no way this was what Brian planned.   No way at all.

 

“Are you feeling better sweetheart?” Melanie asked an alarmingly quiet Izzy

 

“Can I go back to my room now?” she asked not answering the question.

 

“Sure thing sweetie, I’ll be up in a minute.” Melanie kissed her on the forehead.   She jumped up and ran upstairs.   Everyone knew that she was far from acting like herself she should be full of life and bouncy.   She just had one hell of a party but she had the look of a kicked puppy.   Melanie looked up in the eyes of her own daughter and she could tell she’d been crying.

 

“I’m fine mom really.” JR answered before she could ask.   “In fact I think I’m going to go upstairs and see can I help Izzy.” She got up and went upstairs.

 

“So it was “The Sap” is Carl and the good boys in blue off to get him?” she asked soon as she was sure both of her daughters were out of earshot.

 

“No they need Brian to collaborate the story and since all Justin said when he flew out of here was fucking sap well we don’t have much we can go on.” Michael added holding on to Brendon’s hand.

 

“It was horrible.    The way he was just looking straight ahead, he answered one thing someone said at the hospital and then he just slipped away again.  That’s good.” Brendon stated with a smile.

 

“How the fuck can that possible be good?   He was just assaulted and he keeps slipping in and out of his own mind.   He goes to that fucking center every day and they promise that he’s getting better but he’s not he is becoming so pathetic that I can’t even look at him.   I should’ve pulled the fucking plug.” Michael shouted.

 

“You shut your damn mouth!    In the situation that Brian is in it’s a miracle that he can even get up in the morning let alone take care of himself.   You should be grateful for that but now you want to act as if he doesn’t even matter because you can’t look at him.   Well fuck you Michael, would you have wanted someone to unplug you.   What about Jenny?   Would you have wanted her not see you anymore.   That’s my dad and I’m glad he’s back because, because I love him.” Gus has to turn away, he didn’t want them to see his tears, but he couldn’t help it.  He wasn’t a baby anymore but that was still his daddy, his mom was in a mental hospital he didn’t need his father there as well.  He cried into Christina’s shoulder.

 

“It’s okay.   He didn’t mean that.” Christina glared at Michael.   More and more everyday she was really starting to hate him more.

 

“Gus I’m sorry I said something that I shouldn’t have.   You’re so big sometimes I forget that well you’re still a kid.   You just need to understand that your dad would want too-

 

“Michael.” Melanie warned.

 

“Well he wouldn’t have.” Michael tried to explain further.

 

“Get the fuck out now!” Gus growled in Michael’s face.

 

I….I….I’ll just be going.    Brendon you stay here take care of Izzy and JR.   Call me if you hear anything.” He left he had never been afraid of Gus before but when he flew in his face looking so much like his father it made him both happy and sad but he knew that he had to leave.

 

 

 

JR knew that there was something else wrong with her sister.   All night she had been holding on to this toy telephone like she thought it would ring.   It was like a bunny, and when she asked where she’d gotten it she told her none of her business, she was about to go into the room but she heard her whispering.   She cracked the door and she was shocked that she was talking in the bunny, it was a phone.

 

 

 

“So he’s sleeping?” Izzy asked the person on the phone.

 

“Yes.” They replied.

 

“He told me that if I didn’t hear from him to press 1 and that’s what I did and I want to talk to him and make sure he’s okay.   Can I just say goodnight?” Izzy asked the person on the phone.   She waited patiently chew on her bottom lip.

 

“Izzy?” asked a very sleep Brian.

 

“Daddy, oh daddy I was so scared are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine Peanut, are you okay?   I’m so sorry about earlier you weren’t supposed to see that.”

 

“I’m fine daddy, I was scared that man was hurting you are you in the hospital?”

 

“I’m being very well taken care of.   Where’s your daddy Izzy?” Brian asked

 

“I don’t know.  He went on about the sap and then he left.   You told me that sap comes from trees and make syrup, did someone takes daddy’s syrup? She asked giggling.

 

“No.   Listen it’s way past your bedtime what are you doing up, I want you to get some sleep okay.”

 

“Okay.    I love you daddy.” She said quickly before he hung up.

 

“Love you Peanut.” Then he hung up.

 

 

 

Justin was fuming.   He had taken Daphne’s advice and went to the hospital to get the answers he needed from the source only when he got there he was gone.   How the hell was he gone?    A man that he was sure was pretty much catatonic a few hours ago and now he been released from the hospital.

 

“Who the hell was it?” Justin asked Dr. Hooks.

 

“Son, I’m so sorry but he’s my patient and you are not.    He told us that he didn’t want you to know how and I’m sorry I can’t tell you.” He stated looking ashamed.

 

“You saw the man that was brought in here earlier, he is surely not capable of thinking clearly right now, you tell me where he is or I’ll sue your ass.” Justin warned.

 

“Do what you have to Mr. Taylor.   You never filed the papers stating that he was incompetent.  I kept trying to get you to do it but you wouldn’t.   Well these are the consequences and I’m sorry.  If there’s anything else that I can help you with let me know.”

 

 

 

She awoke with a start.    She looked at the clock and it was after three in the morning.   It was the third nightmare of the night.   At first she wanted to take him to her house but he wouldn’t go there and she didn’t blame him too many memories and considering where his mind tended to go he didn’t need to be back in the house where all that pain took place.    She was too old for this, she was practically 70 but she was getting along good considering she had a stroke and it was because of him.   She waited patiently for him to call out and if he did she’d go.

 

“Mom?” Brian called out from the other room and she was on her feet in minutes.

 

She walked in the room and Brian was sitting on floor.    He was doing his best to try himself from crying but with each breath a sob would follow.

 

“Oh sweetheart get up from there.” She reached for her hand and then she took him into a hug and the tears really did fall.   “What’s the matter?” she asked.

 

“He was coming; I’m sorry tell him I’m sorry I promise I won’t do it again.    I’ll take the cans to the end of the street right after school from now on.” He clung to her nightgown.

 

She felt like garbage really.   She remembered this happening, he wouldn’t put the garbage cans to the end of the road and Jack would go to the bar and have more than a few and come home and wail on him.    As his mother she should’ve come in and stopped him but she didn’t, she would have a drink herself and pray that God would help Jack see what he was doing was wrong but as his wife she had to let him do it.   Sometimes things like that made her question her faith.   No mother should let their child be abused.   That abuse is also a factor to why Brian injury was so severe.  Yet another way she wronged him.

 

“Brian he can’t get too you.   We’re here and he doesn’t know where we are.” She played along.  He told her it was best to play along when he slipped away.   John had told her that it was also a good idea; if you were to correct him it would make him stay in the memory even longer.

 

“You mean he can’t find us you believe me, you believe me when I say he hurt me.” Brian asked.

 

She couldn’t even describe how it hurt to see a grown man on the floor in a hotel room terrified of a man coming back that had been dead over ten years.   He wanted her to believe and now she did, eventhough she believed him back then but she was follow what her mother always taught her and that the husband is always right.   When he looked at her like that he wasn’t the strong man that he had grown up to be despite her help.   He was her sweet little boy that would climb in her lap and beg to be cuddled and loved and how she wanted too but Jack told her he would end up a faggot if she were too.    Well Jack he still did.    Moments like this was almost like she could take back some of things that she did when she should have been protecting her son.

 

“Yea you, me, and Claire we left.    I won’t let him hurt you again, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” She did her best to hide her own tears.

 

“I knew you’d believe me one day.” He put his head on her shoulder and finally seemed as if he was going to go to sleep.   She really needed to get him to get off the floor she was too old to be sitting on the floor.    She put her hand on the bed and pulled her hands away wet.   He had wet the bed in his dream.    He told her that was a problem he brought something to protect the mattress but she would have to get some more sheets brought up.

 

“I love you momma.” Brian said bringing her from her thoughts.

 

She was ashamed of herself for being so happy that her son said that too her.  He had told her that after she had her stroke but he used her name.   He used her name more then he called her mom or momma.   It was beautiful thing for him to say it to her.  She wished when he was younger she had never told him not too.

 

“Come on you come with me into my room, and we’ll order room service.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Joan took Brian’s hand and noticed he had stopped and was looking around.   She could tell by the look on his face that he had found his way back to reality.   For that she was grateful but the look on his face whenever he knew he had been away was devastating.

 

“Come on you, you were going to keep me company in my room.” She stated hoping he wouldn’t see what he had done in the bed.

 

“Why?” he looked to the bed and sighed when he saw the crumpled wet sheets.

 

“Don’t you go there it was an accident that you cannot control remember I wet the bed a lot when I came to live with you and Justin.   I know that’s part of the reason I’m the one with you know.   So come on, to my room while housekeeping takes care of this.”   She took his hand and led him to her room.

 

 

 

Bruce Saperstein knew that what he was about to do could be one of the dumbest things ever, but he needed to be heard.   He looked up when he saw a window look out.  It hurt when he came face to face with the face that he had seen when he and Brian were putting on their little play.   He didn’t know what his reaction to her looking at her was supposed to be.  A part of him wanted to run and then he had the urge to wave.    All of that was put to rest when a hand of the little girl came up to the window and gave him the finger before closing.

 

“Oh yea definitely a Kinney.” He said to himself and like an idiot he knocked on the door.

 

 

 

Melanie Marcus was no idiot when Justin came back last night and told her that Brian had checked himself out of the hospital she knew that he probably was back to his original plan and she was not going to let him do it.   He needed to come back to Izzy she needed him.   Although she seemed happier this morning she was staying at the airport and she wasn’t leaving until she got t Brian and whomever he had chosen as his partner in crime.

 

 

 

Sometimes JR hated being the smartest person in her family.   They wanted answers, and everyone was going around half crazy looking for Brian.   She had told them where to find their answers but as usual no one paid any attention to her.   Well it was time that she got her answers, from the littlest Kinney.

 

“Whatcha doing munchkin?” she asked as she came sat beside Izzy on her bed.

 

“Nothing just playing with my bunny.” She stated showing her the bunny she saw her talking into.

 

“You know I heard that they are coming out with stuff bunnies that are really cellphones.   Uncle B told me about them a few weeks ago, he’s going to make the commercials for them and he said that when they came in he was going to get me my own.   I think you beat me to the punch.” JR told her hoping she would take the bait.

 

“He did.  I can’t tell anyone else though but I’ll tell you because we’re best friends right?”

 

“Of course, you’re my little sister we tell each other secrets all the time.”

 

“He told me he was going to go away for a while to finally get his head fixed.   Really fixed, he said that when he came back he’d be better.”

 

“So he went to a hospital?” JR asked.

 

“I don’t know.   I’m supposed to wait for him to call and if he doesn’t I press 1 on this and I call him.   I did it last night but he didn’t answer.   Then he did and I talked to him but he told me had to go because he was very sleepy.”

 

“Who answered the phone when you called?”  JR questioned.

 

“I don’t know some old lady, I don’t know.

 

“Did she sound like someone you know?”

 

“No, wait yea.   It was Grandma.   Not Debbie or Jenny but Joan.   Gram.

 

JR only recently started liking Joan.  Brian had hated her his whole life and when she overheard the things she done she hated her too.  Then she got sick and like all old people when they get sick they feel sorry for what they’ve done and like a fool Brian took her end. She had to stop thinking that way Joan was good to Brian.    She could tell that woman loved Brian, all she had to know as tell someone.  Who to tell?    Gus? John?  Yea John is the one

 

 

 

Joan was doing her best to pack their suitcases as Brian slept in a chair by her bed.   The maid service didn’t come back and Brian ended up sleeping the chair refusing when she offered him the bed. He was the one that was ill, but he said that she was the old fart.   The maid shrieked from the other room and utters something about disgusting causing Brian to tense.   This was one of the times she would be his mother. She was in the room in seconds.

 

“What did you say?” Joan asked her getting right in her face.

 

“Ma’am I’m sorry I didn’t know you were still here.   He’s just so young I’ve never expected thathe…well..” she didn’t know what to say she seemed nervous.

 

“He is ill and the last thing he needs is some fucking maid turning down her nose on him.  You don’t know him you don’t know what he’s been through who the hell do you….” Joan was startled when Brian had grabbed her hand she was about to strike the terrified maid.

 

“I’m sorry sir.” She ran from the room.

 

“What did you think you were doing?” he asked.

 

“She doesn’t know your situation.    She’s a maid and I’m sure she wipes up vomit of drunken men and god knows who are where with their whores and she wants to be a bitch about some piss.” She was outraged.

 

Brian still felt uneasy when her mother took up for him.   “Can we just go now?” he asked hoping to drop the subject.    Their plane was about to leave.

 

“Yea lets go.” She took his hand and they walked toward the lobby.

 

 

 

“So he wanted me to catch you fucking?” Justin asked Bruce in disbelief.

 

“Yes.”

 

“You he thought that I would catch you fucking him and be so disgusted that I would let him leave me, that I wouldn’t stop him when he left.”

 

“Yes Justin.”

 

“Then what the fuck happened, because that’s not what happened and where the hell is he?   Then also why would he let you fuck him he fucking hates you!” Justin shouted being outraged, pissed off, and confused all at the same time.

 

“Justin I don’t really know if I should tell you this.   A part of me can’t really understand why I’m here.  No I take it back, it was your daughter.    Her face and the way she begged me not to hurt her daddy. I’m not one with feelings and such but I couldn’t shake that no matter how I tried.   You know Brian hates me, but do you know why?”

 

“No.  I know he didn’t want me dancing for you, and I surely didn’t tell him about your little party that I went too.” Justin lied.

 

“Oh I’m sure in all the years that the two of you have been together you told of that, and well I’m sorry.  There I said it, sorry’s bullshit unless you mean it and I don’t say if I don’t.” Bruce stated lighting up a cigarette.

 

Justin took in his appearance and his mannerisms and couldn’t help but see some resemblance to a certain person.     He needed answers and why would Brian let him fuck him.

 

“Why did Brian let you fuck him?” Justin asked.  There it was out on the table.

 

“I can happily tell you that Brian has only bottomed for two people in his life.   That’s you and me.  You he loves, and me well he thought I loved him.   I’m older than Brian.  I met him when he first moved to the Pitts.   Back when I was in the closet.   I worked day after in my job but at night that’s when the real me came out and I was always looking for something young and hot.   I thought that was why Brian picked you in the beginning.   I thought that history was going to repeat itself.”

 

“You knew Brian when he was younger?   How?”  Justin asked he needed to know, he needed the missing piece of the puzzle.

 

“Justin I use to be a coaching assistant at Brian’s high school.     He was 15 and I was barely 21.”

 

“No fucking way.  He came into the shower with you and blew you.   You are the best fucking shower scene since psycho.” Justin said in disbelief.

 

“Still telling that story.   It was hot.   He was so eager to young and I loved it.   He had a school boy crush.   He followed me around like a puppy dog.   Of course it was all disguised as me helping him with his soccer because he was a fantastic soccer player.  It was fun.    We would work out and I’d help him whit his game, I’d fuck him and then I’d go home to my wife and kid.   I’m catholic my mother would have my hide if she knew her boy gave it up the ass.    He loved me, and I broke him.   I broke him anyway that I could.    I picked him because he was so broken.   I saw his father beat the shit out of him.   I tried to help once but he blew me and told me to mind fucking business.  I told him he was my business.   Shit got messy and before I knew it he was using the word love and wanted to move in with me to get away from Jack.  I couldn’t let that happen.”

 

“Let me guess, you shoved him off a cliff.” Justin guessed.

 

“The biggest fucking one I could find.    I let him catch me fucking my wife and he said that didn’t matter, and then I let him catch me fucking three big bears and asked him to join.    Oh yea he ran as fast as he could.  I taught him that love was for shit and no faggot believed in monogamy.  Hell I had him convinced that no straight person believe it either cause I was the best of both worlds.”

 

“So you’re like married to a woman with kids?” Justin asked in disbelief.

 

“Fuck no.    If Brian taught me one thing, it was too stop pretending and I gave her the house and pay for my kid.”

 

“So I guess the illness is why his planned failed.  He slipped away right?”

 

“I guess he had only gone to another place while we planned all this.    That was only for a minute, I swear Justin I didn’t know he was so bad.  I heard he went back to work, and he was doing good I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

 

Justin really looked at Bruce and tried to see the liar that he knew but there was nothing in his eyes that proved he was being is sneaky self he was genuine.   There was just one more question he needed to ask.

 

“Why Bruce?”  Justin asked.

 

“I wanted Babylon and he was willing to give it back.   After the bombing I hate to sell it and I wanted it.  I had it ever since I moved here.    I bought it with my coaching money. It was the first thing I ever bought after coming out.” He stated not looking directly at Justin.

 

“Oh my God!” Justin said making a revelation.

 

“I gotta go.” Bruce grabbed his coat to leave

 

“You love him, that’s what you pushed him away, and that’s what you’ll do anything he says.  You are so in love with Brian Kinney just like me.” He stated.

 

“Justin I told you what happened and now I have to go. I don’t know where he is and I hope you find him.” He said leaving Brian’s house.

 

Justin stood there stunned.   He had to find Brian he knew that, but wow to find out “The Sap” was in love with Brian Kinney well that was the craziest thing since Brian’s plan.   He had to find Brian, he just needed to find the clues pick up the search.

 

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

Unexpected Help

John listened patiently to what JR told him.   He couldn't help but be impressed with her detective work.  She was good, he wondered if her family knew how good she was.

«So you think he is with Gram?" he asked.

"Well yea, who else?  She wants forgiveness for everything that she has done to him.   She would do anything for him after his life, and then she had that stroke and he took her in.   She loves him and she is his mother." she stated hoping he umderstood.

"Well lets see if we can get her om the phone." he stated taking out his cellphone."

 

Joan could not help but look on in awe as her son got ready to leave the hotel.  Gone was the frightened boy that slept curled to her.   Now before her stood the confident man her son had become without her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Brian asked.

"Maybe we should call Justin, he is your partner and really is the one that should be here for you.   He would want to be here for you."

"You think I dont know that mother!   I am a bastard for not letting him be here.  Its not that I do not want him here, but he shouldn' have to be here.   He is young and I have too much shit for him.   If I get better than he can leave without wondering if I have burned down the house while he was away.   Are you going to help me?"

"Of course I told you I was going to be there and I am here." she stated dropping the subject.   She knew when he had to let him be in charge.    She would contact Justin somehow.

 

Melanie Marcus was no fool.    He had asked her to meet him at the airport, and using her contacts she found out he had not been on any flight yesterday so she would wait here.   This was his spot he had to come here to leave town.

 

Christina watched as Gus walked back and forth in front of her doorstep.   She knew that he had something to say and he would say it in his time.   She knew that it was eating him up and he needed to explode.   She could be patient and help him through it.   She never knew loving someone could be so complicated.

"Its so fucked up." he shouted.

"What is?" she asked.

"Everything, he planned all of this.    We are all worried sick and I overhear Justin and some asshole talking last night about how all of this was another cliff."

"Cliff?" she asked confused.

"That is something that he does.   Whenever someone gets to close or he thinks he is doing something for their own good then he will fuck with your mind and make you leave.   He was trying to make Justin throw him away and he had a fit instead.   Now we dont fucking no where he is.   Why am I even caring?" h asked looking to her for answers.

"You are a son who cares for his father.  Do they have any clues where he is now?"

"They think that he is with Gram.   Trying to find her."

 

Joan looked down at her phone again and for the fourth time it was Justin.  She looked to Brian and he was almost sleep.   All he had to do was wait and then she would answer and tell where they were.

Brian was no fool, at least not today.   Every time her phone vibrated he saw when she glanced at it.   It was Justin, she was caving.    If he didnt act fast whenever he lost lucidity she would call. She would call and tell where he was and he would be back being spoon fed.   No he knew what had to be done.

"Mom I just want to thank you for all of this." he said taking her hand.   "I know that I was not the best son, but you taking this train trip with me.   I love you for being here for me mom." them he threw his arms around her neck and gave her the biggest hug.

Joan did not know how to react to that.   He had said he loved her and he was in his right mind and he meant it.   All she could do was hold him tightly and give him words of comfort.  She had to be there for her son.   Justin would understand that..

Brian couldn't help but smile to himself as his mother tightened her grip around him   He still had it, he could sell reading glasses to the blind.    His mother was just as emotionally damaged as him and all he had to was dangle some love and she would eat it up.   She would see him through this and then he would deal with Justin.

 

"I waited at that damn airport all day and he never showed." Melanie replied to the group of family scattered around Justin's den.

"Well he has Gran with him.   She adores him now.   She will be thrilled he picked her over Debbie and she'll do anything because she truly is sorry for what happened with Gramps." John added.

"That is good work how did you figure out that she was with your grandmother?" Melanie asked John.

"I cannot take the credit for that it was JR.  She heard Izzy talking to him on her phone.   She gave her cellphone and he called her.   He told her to call him if she didnt hear from him by a certain time.   We need to find him before then,he is not going to answer now." John added getting upset.

"Well there is no reservation for Brian Kinney at the airport or train station.   I have checked."Melanie added.

"You should try Stephen Meyers." Michael added.   He had been quiet the whole time.

"Fucking Captain Astro." Justin added in reference to the comic characters alter ego.   ""Brian told me when he ran away from home he told anyone who asked his name was Stephen Meyers.    We should try that name but what do we do when we find them.  If they see us they'll run.  We need someone to go and find out if they are there and keep them there.   If they they see any of us they will bail." Justin worried.

 

"I'll go." said an unexpected voice from the doorway.

"I wasnt trying to listen.   I bought the kids back.   If you find out that they are somewhere I can go there and keep tabs on them until you get there.   I mean you said that they would bail if they saw you.   I wont approach them, but I will watch them so when you get there you wont have to track them down." Chris offered.

"No I brought the kids because Gus was upset and I wanted to check on Izzy.  There is no problem with me doing this for you Justin.   I know nothing I can do to make up for what I have taken from you, but I will do this for you I really am different from the prick you knew in high school."

"Okay." Justin accepted right now to get Brian back he would take help from where ever he could get it.


	25. Chapter 25

Chris couldn't believe that he was in Washington tracking Brian Kinney and his mother.   That was a sentence that he never imagined he'd be saying.    Here he was, hopefully he wouldn't be here long he had contacted the calvary.

 

"Are you packed yet?" John asked a frazzled Justin.

"Why would he do this John?   Doesn't he understand that if he wanted to do that I would be right there for him?   I would do anything for him because he did it for me." Justin said obviously upset.

"Justin he is doing all of this for you.   He doesnt want to burden you.   Chris said he seemed like himself when saw them."

"Yea I will feel better once I get there, and I am not just mad at him.   Derek is my friend, why didn't he fucking call me?"

John could only smile when Justin stormed from the room.   His uncle really was gonna get it when they tracked him down.

 

 

Derek Shephard sat in his office looking over the file in front of him.   He could not believe this was happening he still remembered the first time they had met in this very office.

 

FLASHBACK

"So Brian what can I do for you?" Derek asked he sat at his desk.

"So you open up his brain and do what you do and he just wakes up and his hand doesnt shake and his memories come back.   Just like magic, what the hell makes you so special?"

"I've been told about you.   They so that you are the no bullshit type, and I'm not bullshitting here that is what will happen.    It is not like flicking a switch, fences will have to mend and motor skills might not get to normal but his memories oh yes he will recall them in no time."

Brian couldnt help the smile on his face.   Justin would get those moments and even the prom back.   He would know that he loved him ever since then.

"By the looks of your face I would gather its something you want him to remember." Derek commented.

"No this issomething that I would rather he never rememberd.   Its just a small minute of happiness but a lot of pain.   He got his skull bashed in with a baseball bat.  I am afraid of what the trauma of that and what it will do to him."Brian stated sternly.

"He has talked to the shrinks and knows the risks.   It is his decision to procede." Derek told him so he would know he was not intimidated.

"You're right and as long as he pulls through you're safe.  The moment it looks like things have gone sour, I will have your ass and not in a good way." Brian gave him a smirk and exited the office.

END FLASHBACK

 

"I know." said a voice from behind him startling him.

"I just left him.   Its a good day he knew me.   Its not affecting his memory now but he saidthat sometimes he forgets.   His mother is here and he avoide when IAsked about Justin." Meredith told her husband as she slid into his lap.

"I told you last night that he is doing this without him.   You are trying to butt in their business and you have no right." Derek scolded his wife.   

"Justin is a sweet loving man and when he was getting his brain messed with Brian was cursing and brooding all day, its only right we get to reassure the sensible one.  Besides he has the right to be here, when you were fighting for your life i was right there.  You know he should be there you know that." Meredith tried to make her husband see that she was the voice of reason.

"I may agree with you in every way but right now he is my patient.  He doesnt want him here so he cant be."

"Well its wrong and until you realize that well I have too cut you off." she stated leaving the office.

 

 

Justin tried to relax for the flight but he couldn't thinking about what could be hppening to Brian.   He knew that Derek would take care of Brian but he had gone through the files on the computer.   He had to be there it ended now.

"Its going to be okay.   Chris found out that he was admitted and they are stayig there." John reassured him again.

"This just has to end.   Brian needs to realize that he cant shake me.  I'm here to stay and he should no that ny now."

 

Gus leaned in closer to Christina.    Things were finally calming down, JR and Izzy were off being kids and he could finally get closer to Christina.   The house was empty and now for once he was going to do what all kids his age were doing.

"What are you doing?" Christina asked.

"I'm making out with my girlfriend." he said nuzzling her neck.

"Oh and we finally going to get a little horizontal?" she smirked sliding on the chair and pulling him on top of her.

Gus was on fire,the heat was starting in his stomach down to his groin.   His body ached for her and when he looked into her eyes he saw that she wanted this just as much as he did.  He knew that he wasnt going to last long but he was sure that was normal for guys he would make it up to her the second time around.    He passed her the condom and she slipped it on his already leaking cock.   He couldnt help the groan that escaped his mouth when pulled it over his girth and gave it a stroke.   He entered her in one swift motion and closed his eyes at the way she was making him feel.   Her hot, tight channel was gripping him with eac thrust.   He definitely wasn' going to last much longer.   He was about to cum he knew it.

"What are you guys doing?" asked a curious Izzy standing in the doorway.

Gus only let out a loud groan as he climaxed.

 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

Gus and Christina stood in front of a smiling Izzy.   What were they suppose to tell her exactly? They sure as hell couldn't tell her the truth,could they?

"Izzy when two people are in love...." Gus began.

You can't tell her that"! Christina shouted cutting him off.   "We were just wrestling thats all, ypur brother and i were wrestling and well he lost when he shouted." Christina explained.

"What about when you screamed after him?" Izzy asked.

"Then I lost." Christina stated trying not to blush.

"Oh that is what that was." Izzy asked in disbelief.

"Yea what di you thnk we were doing?" Gus asked nonchalantly.

"I thought ou were fucking. I have a quarter for the swear jar." she stated as she leaped from the couch and laughed as she ran down the hallway.   She left the two teens sitting there withere mouths open.

 

 

Molly hated yhis part of her trips home.   Going to see her father, it was different because her father still loved her.   It was hard not wanting to love him because of the way he trated Justin, but sh always found herways to rebel and Jonathon Kinney Marlowe was one of those ways.   She loved John, that was not the case but he hated him.   He was going to stroke out when he found out he was her husband.   When he walked in she could not stop the smile on her face.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long sweetheart."Craig Taylor stated as he took a seat behind his desk.   He took a good look at his daughter and he was overwhelmed when he took in her current state.   "You look beautiful." he said taking her in.

"Thanks." was all she could muster up because she was shocked by her father's words.

"I heard about your mother and well good for her, but this little piece of sunshine I can be happy about this my first grand child." he was practically beaming.

Molly couldnt help the scold that appeared on her face.   Her child was not his first grandchild, Izzy was.   How can he be so cruel."

"It is not your first.   What about Izzy?" she asked.

"Izzy is a nice young lady and the three times I have met her she was well mannered but we are not even sure if she is a Taylor, but this little tike wil be a....

"Kinney." she stated cutting him off.

"I thought the young man you told me about was a Marlowe?" he questioned.

Yea Jonathon Kinney Marlowe.    He is Brian's nephew and we are married.   So tell me, what do you think about that?" she asked leaning back for the backlash.

 

 

Michael walked into his mother's home to give her the latest update on Brian and right away he knew she was angry.

"What' wrong?" Michael asked.

"When all of this is going on and he needs a shoulder, he turns to that woman." she says with distaste.

"Ma that woman is his mother."

"Well yes, but I was there when she didnt stop Jack and now when they are going to be cutting into his brain he wants her." she croaked trying not to cry.

"Maybe that is why he picked his mother.   He does not want Justin to see him that way because we know how he feels about him.   Maybe he picked his mother over you because he loves you so much." Michael stated hoping he had pacified her.

 

 Joan Kinney looked at her sleeping son and it took all she had not to cry.  He was going through so much and she was thrilled that he wanted her there with him, but she did not deserve to be there Justin did.

Brian opened his eyes and he couldnt help the smile creeping up.   This would be his last morning of waking up with this foggy feeling.   Although there was a good chance that after this afternoon he would wake up not even knowing his name.   It was a risk he would take.   It was a risk he had to take for Justin.

"How do you feel?" His mother asked when she saw he was awake.

"I'm fine Joan."

"Yoi know its still not to late to call him,if you call now he could get here and be here when you went into recovery." she added.   She was not gong to let him know how much him calling her Joan hurt.   She knew what he was aiming for and she was not going to let it get to her.   She was all that he had he made sure of it.   She was not going anywhere.

"Justin is where he need be mother,if all goes well I will call him tonight."

"What if something goes terribly wrong and you can't call tonight?" she asked her son once more trying to let him see what he was doing.

"Then the facility which will be in charge of my full time careknows how to get in touch with my partner.   Go have breakfast or something I am going to rest until it's time."  He closed his eyes hoping that she would get the point and leave.

Joan grabbed her purse nd exited Brian's room.    She was going to grab a quick breakfast and then she was going to do what she should have done days ago.   She was going to call Justin.    She wasn't paying attention to where she was going and she bumped into someone.   She bent down to pick up the things that she had dropped the whole time giving her apologies and not lookin up.

"It's okay I was not paying attention to where I was going." Justin stated.

"Oh thank God you are here!" she shouted throwing her arms around Justin.   "I was just going to call you so you could get here by the time it was over but I don't have to ecause you're here." she could not help giving him one more hug.

"How is he?"

"Oh he is miserable and he wants you here so bad.   I can see it in his eyes.  Dismissed me when I brought up calling you.   Told me to go get some breakfast probably so he can cry into his pillow." she laughed.

"Is he really okay?"Justin asked stalling for time.   He really did not know if he was ready to go in yet.

"He will be fine once you get in there where you nelong.   Im going for breakfast. I will see you later."  Just like that she was out of sight.

Justin squared his shoulders took a few deep breaths,and entered Brian's room.

 

 

"It's really fraking me out." Molly said into the receiver as she waited for her father to return.

"Why?" asked John on the other end.

I dont know I expected more you know, I just thought that if he heard that I had married a Kinney and was having his heir that he would be mortified."

"Maybe if you were marrying a woman but you married a successful doctor.   We have a marriage certificate and one of those agreemnts he doesnt give a damn.  I am a man and that is all that matters."

"Well that is not fair what Brian and Justin have is real.   He should acknowledge it." she practically whimed into the receiver.

"Stop that and you don" have to feel guilty because your dad loves an accepts us."

"I don't?" she asked again waiting for his approval.

"No Justin would not want you to not have a relationship with your father.   It is okay have a good time with him.  Also dont go into labor until I get back."he smiled.

"Okay John I better let you go then give them my love."she stated referring to her brother and Brian.

"I love you too."he said and hung up.

 

"Talking to your husband?" Craig asked when he returned to the table.

"Yea he sends his regards, he is in Seatle working on his uncle's case."she stated as she took a bite of her fried chicken.

"Awe yes heard about that.   I guess they dont make city equipment like they use too."he stated with a smirk.

Molly was about to say something but she felt a sharp pain followed by a gush of wetness in her underwear.

"Are you alright?" her father asked noticing the werd look on her face.

"No my water broke."

"Oh honey thats nothing I will get you another."Craig stated signalling the waiter.

"No my water broke as in its time for the baby." she shouted as she grabbed his tie pulling him across the table.

 

 

Brian knew the moment he opened his eyes that he was there.   He had been dreaming about him and hoping that when he opened his eyes he would be there and there he was. He couldn' even say anything he was so glad that Justin was there.   He just blinked a few times making sure he was really there.

"Before you say anything I just want to know what were you thinking.   The Sap he is so fucking i love with you.   Another cliff, I am not that same kid I use to be.  I dont fall for it.  You are sick and I am going to be here for the long haul.   I love you and even if you are drooling or foaming at the mouth I am here.   Well what do you have to say for yourself?" Justin asked looking him right in the eye.

"I am so scared and I am glad you are here."Brian said as he put his arms around Justin's neck and buried his head into his shoulder. 


	27. Chapter 27

Meredith Grey walked into the cafeteria and she saw Justin sitting alone.   She took this as a good time to catch up with him.   After all Brian wasn't just any patient they were friends.  She looked aroumd to make sure he was truly alone.   When she was sure he was alone, she adjusted the carrier in her hand and proceeded towards her friend.

"Mind if we join you?" Meredith asked when she approached Justin's table.

Justin really didn't feel like talking with anyone.   Brian was currently having the back of his head shaven.   They were going to be cutting open the back of his head and messing with his brains.   His brains, but when he looked up and saw who it was and she was not alone well he had to let her sit.

"Please I could use the dstraction." he stated moving some of his drawings to make room for her bundle.

"How are you holding up?   I stopped by to look in on Brian, they are doing all of his pre-op why are you sitting here and not with him?"

"I was with him, but I guess I grimaced to much so he asked me to leave.   He also told me not to go too far so thats good.   You know how he can be, so him not asking me to leave the building is good.   Enough about that for a moment, when di this happen and why wasn't I told?" Justin asked referring to her baby.

"Well you know Derek and I had been trying for ages.   Then everyone was having babies and not me.   I mean even Christina and you know how she can be." Meredith laughed making Justin laugh as well.   He knew Christina and well and Christina and baby were two words he never thought he would see together.

"So we stopped, decided that if it were to happen it would happen and that's when we were surprised with Georgia here." Meredith was beaming when she passed the baby to him. This was a good distraction.   He would take this, he was glad that she had decided to have a seat with him.

 

Brendon had come home early for the first time in a while.   He thought maybe he could go ino the gym or maybe even surprise Michael at the store.   He was surprised to find Michael there surrounded by what looked like invitations.

"What's all this?" Brendon asked as he walked up to Michael.

"I was going to surprise you with this party.   You know I wanted everyone to see how much I love you.   I wanted to thamk you, you had a great oppurtunity but you passed it up for Brian.   You stayed to help him, I wanted everyone to see how much I appreciated it.  Now with everything going on with Brian its pretty selfish to have a party." Michael explaimed.

"Thats not the only reason I stayed.   You are here, and I go where you go." Brendon stated giving Michael a kiss.   "He is going to be okay,and if he is not.   Then we will make him better.   Come on I will take you to lunch."Bremdon took Brian's hand and they walked from the apartment.

 

He mumbled when he was nervous or excited that was something that she had realized when he was younger.   Now he wa excited, one of the best things in his life was happening and he was miles away.   "Take a seat and talk to her John, all that pacing cannot be good for you." Joan told her grandson as he continued to pace back and forth in front of her clutching his cellphone to death.

"I am just so sorry I'm no there.  I should be there holding your hand or letting you curse me out.   Time I tell you to wait for me you go into labor." John told his wife as he looked into her misty eyes on the telephone wishing he could be there.

"Its fine daddy got me here without running too many lights and mom and Tucker will be down soon.   I have a fantastic support system, Justin needs you know.   Even Em came down earlier, he told me that he was going to be God Mother and e brought the cutest little outfits.   He said he would be my cach if i wanted him to be, its kind of weird him being so close.   I mean he hs actually seen you naked John.   I thought he hated me." she sighed.

John tookin his beautiful wife.   H could tell that she was still in her early stages and maybe if he hopped a plane he could be there befor the birth.   He knew he couldn't though because he would hate it more if she gave brth while he was in flight and had his cellphone tuned off.   He was better where he was,and he would have to thank Emmett he was ndeed the best ex boyfriend a guy could have.

Christina was shocked when she entered Gus'workshop and found Izzy sitting on the floor coloring.   She hadn' been back in there since her ather had been takem away practically catatonic.   She would have to ask him later how he managed that.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked as she began looking at some papers that Gus had scattered around.

"I am trying to fix the car, but Dad did something to it amd it keeps short circuting.   Damn it I shouldnt have let him touch it!" Gus shouted loosing his patince.

"Its going to be okay, your dad is going to be fine." she said taking him in her arms.   She kne that he was worried about his father.   It was the whole point of her coming over. She was worried as well, this was a big thing for his father and she knew hewished he could be there.   She was thinking of calling er uncle.   Maybe he could help them get there.   Then one of the paper's on his desk caught her attention.

"What the hell is this?"she asked shoving the paper in his face.

The look of guilt and sorrow crossed his face when he realized she saw it.   "I di not mean for you to see that.   Just give me time to explain."

 

Justin was looking all around the room.   Anything not to look directly at Brian.   They had shaved his head and now he couldnt help but think about his second bout with cancer when all of his hair fell out.  Every now and then he would fee him grasp for his hand but then he would release it.   He knew that he wanted to say it, that was his thing whenever they were a chance they could loose each other and he knew he was about to say it.

"

Don't." Justin stated breaking the silence in the room.   "I know you think that now wuld be the perfect time to say it, but thats not us anymore.   You say it now and I love you for saying it but you are not about to make a deathbed declaration okay."

"Okay." Was his one word reply.   He was getting drowsy and he grbbed Justin's hand once more giving it a squeeze.   He smiled when Justin squeezed back.

They pulled the sides up and began to wheel him away.  "Later." Ustin said as tey wheeled him into the OR.   He turned to the left and Joan as standing right there to take him in her arms.   He cried and she rocked him gently.   He didnt want to tell her that he wasn't truly afraid until he didnt say later back.   He was going to be okay,he just had to be. 


	28. Chapter 28

"What the hll is this?" Christina asked again holding the paper in front of Gus.

"I can explain, that is part of the reason why I asked you to come." he repled softly.

"You told me to come over because you were worried about your dad, but you invited me over here to lower the blow.   You told me all that garbage about love and wanting to be with me, but were you really shooting me that shit to get in my pants?"Christina asked getting pissed.

"I can't stay here okay!   The man that left here sure as hell wasn' my dad.   I gave him the train and he fucking wrecked it, there is no way I will have it ready for the show.   He tried his best and it is for shit.   I can not be here when he comes back more fucked then he was.  Signing that paper I can get out and don' have to sit here and watch Justin ruin his life.   It will be fine, it will be fun yo coming up on the weekends and everyone will love you.   Then you'll be able to brag because you will have a college boyfriend." He explained trying to hug her.

"Don' you fucking touch me!" She shouted pulling a way.   "I love you do much and have been proud when you stood by your dad.   We must have played that hamster song twenty times or something else silly that he has wanted to do.   I loved that you still loved him when he was the man you told me he always was,and when he slipped away to something else.   Now, now I can not stand to look at you." She grabbed her things and he left him standing there.

 

Joan looked up and watched Justin pace in front of her again.   Two hours ago it was John and now its him.   She did not believe h was truly afraid until they told him twenty minutes ago they had been a complication.   He needed to sit down.

"Sit down, that Grey woman said she would come out when she knew more.

"When she knows more, what kind of person comes out and tells you that your husband has bleeding on the brain and then disappears around a fucking corner!" Justin spat angrily.

"Swwetheart you are going to need your strength for the battle ahead.   Come with me and get something to eat, and we can give Izzy a cal.   She hasn't heard from her daddy in a long time."  She told him.   He needed to get out of this waiting area.

"You are right,and maybe we can find John and find out if I' an uncle yet."

"Sounds like a plan." She took his hand and was leading him from the waiting area.

"Justin." Meredith called as she exited the OR.

"Guess that will have to wait."Justin gave Joan a smile and quietly approached Meredith.  He wasn't surprised whenJoan was right there to hold his hand.

 

Lindsay was more than surprised when she went in the visiting area and found JR there.

"This is a surprise,does your mom know yu are here?" Linsay asked nervously.

"I don't need permission to come and see my mom in the hospital.   I promised I would come and I'm here keeping a promise." she stated giving her a smile.

"I know unlike me I promised that I wouldn't leave again and what do I go and do leae."

"I just don't understand, why would you hurt Uncle Brian."  she asked seriously.

"I really don't think we should be dicussing that right now.   You are a child you wouldn't understand." Lindsay explained trying to get JR to drop it.

"My parents are lesbians, my father died of Aids!   I have seen more in my life then most kids see in a yar of after school specials.    You were fucking molesting him and now you get to come back to the asylum, and they are cutting his brain open.   How the hell is that fair!" She screamed rising from her chair.  She didn't even care about all the looks she was receiving.

Lindsay toof in her daughter and knew the real reason for her outburst.  She was worried about her friend and she needed someone to be angry with.   She would be that person.   She would be what ever she needed her to be.

"His surgery was today wasn't it? How are you holding up?she asked thrilled she let her take her in her arms.

 "Mom' with Izzy because she needs her, and Gus is having his own nervous breakdown and packing because now he is moving.   This isnt even a fix it surgery,he could fucking end up worstnow and he made this decision because he didn't think he was good enough, but he was fine mom.   You know I never treated him differently not one day.  He was always Brian I never treated him like he didn't matter."

"I know sweetheart, and you know that he loves you very much." she held her tighter.

 "I don't want him to die. She cried into her mother's shoulder.   She was trying to be strong for Izzy, but here should stood in the middle of a crazy house crying like a baby.

 

"Can you believe that shit?" Christina finished her tirade.   She had went straight to her uncle's office to tell him what Gus had done.   She left out the part about them having sex of course.   She was no idiot.

"Watch your language, and dont be angry about what about to say but he is making the right decision." Chris stated and he sat back to wait for the backlah.

"You never wanted us together in the first place.  You don' care that he ripped my heart out and stomped it.  You are just happ to be rid of that Kinney.  You really are an asshole."She said angrily.  She didn't care that she was being rude.  He did not care and it was pissing her off.

"You have to think of the year that he has had.   I knew Brian kinney and he could look at me and I would wet myself, that is not him.   I can see why Gus does not want t sit around and see that.  He misses his dad Christina it hurts to watch what he has become.   It is not about you,you have to know that.

Chritina took a moment too think about this.   Was she over reacting?   It all came down to the surgery.   God she really hoped he was alright. 


	29. Chapter 29

John couldn't stop staring at the little pink ball on his phone.   She was beautiful and she had the reddest hair.  He was a dad.   What the fuck was he going to do now?   He couldnt drop out of school now for sure.

"Look at what we made?" Molly said on the other end of the line.

"She looks just like you Molly.  I am just sorry I'm not there to hold her" he added regretfully touching his phone.

"It's fine, if I could be there I eould be there.   How is he?  Has Brian woken up yet?  What did the doctor say?" Molly asked concerned for her friend."

"They called them in in a few minutes ago.   I started to go in, but more important things were happening.   Have you thought of the perfect name yet?" he asked as the numerous names that they had been talking about danced before his eyes.

"Not yet, right now she is just baby girl Kinney.  I want to find the perfect name."she yawned.

"Get some sleep and I will keep you posted."

"Okay John,I love you." she yawned once more.

"I love you too." he replied and finally hung up the phone.  He looked to his uncle' room,and entered ready to find his fate.

 

Gus opened his front door and was surprised to find her standing on the other side.  "What the hell do you want?" he asked bitterly.

"I guess I deserve that.   After I left I had a talk with my uncle, and he explained a couple of things to me.   I think I said things in a haste and I think I owe you an apology."she said not looking him directly in the eye.

"You think?" he stated sarcastically stepping aside and letting her into his home.

"No I do.   I was looking at this from the fact that you were leaving me and our relationship. I need to think about the fact you have been here seeing your dad.  It kills me to see him like that, and you see it all day and night.   You need to get away, from him its killing you to see him this way.  I understand that now, if you decide that you really need to leave its fine.  I am right here and its where I am staying with you." she stated firmly taking his hand.

He was so happy that Christina finally got it.   It had nothing to do with her.  He was leaving because everyday his father lost a little bit of himself, and this surgery was not a fix it.  In all reality it could make it worst.  He was going to share that with her but there was a knock at the door.

He went to the door and collected the package from Meyers there normal delivery guy and he reentered the house to an eager looking Christina.

"Did you get a package?" she asked noticing the curious look on Gus' face.

"That was Meyers he delivers our train stuff.  We should not be getting anything else this year.  We have all the parts for this year.   I just have to fix whatever dad to it." he stated as he opened the package and read the attached letter.  His face suddenly drained of all its color.

"What?  What is it?" she aske immediately knowing something was wrong.

"Its another version of our car.   They sent us one of the ones that has been recalled." he sighed.

"Well that is fantastic! You can put it up and you can make the fair.   If everything goes well with your dad he might even be able to go with you." she squealed with delight.

"No don't you fucking get it!   There was something wrong with it.   He told me over and over again that it was the wiring and  I told him he was an idiot.  I must have made him feel about an inch tall.   He was right the whole time and I made him doubt himself.  I took it from him and practically made him do the things I would allow Izzy to do.   He was fine and I took that stability away, even after I turned around and did what he said he had done.  I dissmissed him.  I'm a horrible son." Gus was deflated when he stopped and thought of what his father must have felt when he scolded him and took their train away.

"It's going to be okay.  He is your dad and he is going to understand everything.  You will make it up to him. Everything will be fine." She gave him that hug she knew he needed and just held him.   Things had to get better right?   Hadn't they suffered enough.

 

"Thanks for calling me.  I hadn't even noticed she was gone."Melanie stated as she entered Lindsay's room.

"Yea well she seems to be good at that.   It is so easy for her because of her height.  She is so sure of herself as well.   Like her mom, we are going to watch out for that one."Lindsay stated followed by a nervous laugh.  She didnt know why she was nervous arounf Mel.   She was sure it was because of the nutcase decor.   Why did she have to fuck everything up?

"You dont you know." Melanie stated as if she read her mind.

"How do you know what I was thinking?" Lindsay asked seriously.

"I don't not really, but I know she was upset because of what happened yesterday.  She needed someone to vent on and you were the perfect for that.   She came looking for a target and you were here no need to look."

"I know that, has they been any word?   How is he doing?" Lindsay asked carefully.

"It is okay for you to ask how he is doing?" Melanie shouted.   He looked back at a sleeping JR on Lindsay's bed.   "He made it through the night, he wasn't very coherent but that was understandable when he wakes today we get answers.  John is ecstatic Molly had her baby.   Poor thing is two days in the world and dos not have a name." Mel shared laughing.

"What are his chances?" Lindsay asked hoping Mel wouldn't sugarcoat anything.

"If he wakes up and knows us its a good thing.   We will have to wait to see if he slips away and if he does then we know what we have to deal with.  Then there's the part of the brain that was cut into.  It controls sight and signals sent to laugh side of the body.  We just half to pray for the best."

"Well Derek is doing the surgery and he fixed Justin.  He will come through for Brian. He has too." Lindsay looked at her sleepimg daughter.  It would kill her if Brian was worst coming out of this thing.

 

John looked in the room and couldnt help but frown when he saw Justin asleep in the little chair with his head on Brian's bed.

"Did he even go in the room provided for him last night?" Tucker asked John when he passed him a coffee.

"No, and he didn' take it kindly to me telling him he needed sleep.  Even pulled out one of his you're not my father's.  It has been years since he said that.  Most of the time we are friends.  Brian just needs to open his fucking eyes." Tucker stated looking in on his sort of son again.   The women decided he should come since they could not travel.

"So tell me Tuck how does it feel to be a ather and a grandfather in the same week?" John asked with a smirk.

"Oh it has been a riot over at the nurse's station showing them pictures of my son and then showing them pictures of my granddaughter.   The second look is priceless."he stated giggling.   He looked back in that room as if he could wiil Brian awake with his mind.

 

Justin was startled awake when he felt movement.   He looked up and Brian's eyes were staring backat him..

"Oh thank God, I was so scared yesterday.   I stayed all night because I wanted tobe here when you opened your eyes.   Everything is going to be alright from this moment.   From right now on we can face anything.   Well are you going to say anything?" Justin asked.

Brian took Justin's hand gave it a good squeeze.  He looked him right in the eye and said "Are you Justin?"


	30. Chapter 30

One Year Later

 

Molly had searched everywhere and she could not find that brief anywhere.   Mind you she had been looking for it while a one year old rode her back like she was donkey.  Not a horse but a donkey, for some odd reason she loved donkeys.   Just another quirk of being a Kinney she supposed.

"Okay are you going to help me or not?  I need to find this damn thing and then I can finally get ready.   You have to be early to these things or you never have a seat." Molly explained to her dozing husband.

"We have plenty of time.  I wouldn't be taking a nap now if I didn't have the time.   Come on Gracia lets let mommy find her paper." John stated taking their daughter.

Molly smiled as she looked at her family.   She was happy, and she had the perfect family.  She couldn't help but think about how everything had changed in a year.   She had a healthy baby and the perfect husband.   She couldn' help but think of Brian.   Before she knew it she was crying.

"Hey none of that." John did his best to soothe his wife.   He also knew that would be impossible.   At leadt after today things would be different.

 

Melanie stood outside waiting on her wife.   Everyone was getting out today.  Lindsay was cured and she was finally coming home, but so was Brian.   Were they going to both relapse?   She hadn't seen Brian in eight months and when she had....lets just say she wished she hadnt.

"That was the last one." Lindsay said with a smile as she entered the car.

"Are you sure? I still don't understand why you didn' want me to come and help." Melanie asked seriously.

"Today is all about new beginnings and I did not want our new forever to begin a nuthouse."

"Don't say that Lindsay they helped you get better."

"Yea they did, and I never thought I would say this but I am the only person that thinks this is insane!" Lindsay shouted thinking about wfere they were heading.

"Justin deserves this.   No one has to be with Brian always, we all get to leave.  He wants this so much, who are we to tae it from him?" Melanie asked as she pulled away from the sanitarium.

"Yes Mel, but I think I just spent a year being told that it is not always about what we want."

 

JR loved her dress.  It had arrived by Air Mail just two days ago.  Just likie everyone else she hadn't seen Brian in awhile, The time she did see him she wanted to cry,hec could barely walk.   They say the brain is a complex thing and it stopped Brian from doing just about everything.   It sucks but Justin loves him so why does it matter to everyone?

"You look beautiful honey." Michael stated when he entered JR's room.

She looked at her father and noticed that he had been crying.   "What is the matter?" she ased.

"Nothing really I guess I was just thinking about weddings and your dad."

"Its fine dad, Ben would happy with what you have with Brendon.   You guys are happyand I love him.  Its fine to be happy.  Now come on we have a wedding to get to.  It is fine to be happy for Justin too. You watch everything is going to be fine."

 

Joan Kinney sat in her foyer waiting on the ride to her son's wedding.  Any normal person would be thrilled if their son was getting married, but sh was not.   The unbelievable part of it was it wasn't because of the obvious reasons.  Brian had found himself a good man in Justin ,and now Justin was making it official.   Someone had to put a stop to this was what she thought as she went to the door.

"Hi." her driver stated when she opened the door.

"Oh my God."She pratically screamed when she pulled him inside.

 

Chtistina could not keep the smile off of hwe face as she watched her boyfriend get ready for the wedding.   People had laways told her that he and Brian looked so much alike.   She haf never thought that unril this very moment.   He was so cute anxious. 

"Why are you nervous?  It is not lok you are gettin married?"she stated as she got up and tied the tie he had finally settled on.

"I was just wonfering what everyone will think after today?   No one has seen dad in almost a year.  I have because I was with them,but what will everyone think after the I dos."

He asked Christina because she was his rock.   She had seen him through all of this,and whenever he felt insecure about anything he could ask her.   She always knew how to make things better.

"They will be happy.  Your dad is doing great now.   He is not back to his full self but he is your father and they love each other and that is all that matters.  Now lets go.   This is going to shock everyone." She took his arm and they exited his bedroom.

 

Justin had a headache.   He didn't know many things about a wedding but the bride wasn't supposed to want to pull all of hair out and that's what he wanted to do right now.   He looked to his left and Brian and Izzy were drawing.

"You guys better not get the paint you are dressed for the wedding.   Remember Brian, today is your special day." Justin couldn't stay mad at Brian when he smiled at him.   He was so adorable in his suit, they were matching today.   It was going to be alright.   There was nothimg wrong with marrying Brian, and then he spilled the paint.

"Damn it you have paint everywhere!" Justin scolded.

"Daddy we are sorry.   I did not get any on me.   You swore you gotta put a dollar in the swear jar."

"Sorry JuJu" Brian said.  He was prone to say that somtimes when Justin wouldn't come out.

"Dont you JuJu me, the both of you upstairs now I will straighten you out."

Justin tried not to get upset.   Brian could not help the things he did.   It was going to be a long day.

 

She tried her best not to cry, but her baby was getting married.   He was not her baby anymore but he had been for so long.

"Crying again, at that rate you will have no tears left for the ceremony."Tucker stated taking his wife in his arms.

"Everyone is going to be so happy.   Did you see Brian he was so adorable.   His little suit,he is so excited about today." She squealed thinking about Brian in his little suit.

"Get out here now mother!" Justin screamed.

 

When Jennifer saw Brian she did not know whether she wanted to laugh or cry.   "Oh dear." She sad.

"That is it.   This wedding is off."

Brian began to cry and Jenifer went to him immediately.   He buried his head in her shoulder and cried.   "Justin you are upsetting him."

 "Mother he is covered in paint.  His suit is ruined."

"Its fine I will just button his jacket.   He can still be ringbearer." Jennifer explained trying to make her son presentable.

 

She had ridden all the way there with him, and she could not stop staring.   He was looking at her and he knew his name.   He was wlking with a cane but he wa walking.  He was her Brian.

"When did all of this happen?" She asked still unable to keep her eyes off of him.

"Well you stopped coming after the first few months.   Whic was good,you not need to see that.   I'm not beter, and I never will be.   I am happy though, and I'm getting married."

Joan just could not help herself, she had to hug him again. This was her baby he had his life back.

 

 

Justin took Brian's hand and in front of their family they became official.  The road to recovery was long and curved but they made it.   Brian would neverbe the man that he was but he was proud of who he had become.   They were happy and they were loved, and they could not wait for the next curve sent their way because they would face it together.


End file.
